Weird Week

Before I start I have to preface what I'm going to say by saying this...Last week we had state testing in the school and I was around people I don't normally see or talk to.  But this still weirded me out and I would like to know how you have handled it.

I have not kept my surgery a secret.  I've told loads of people.  But last week probably about 4 times people came up to me and said that I had lost a lot of weight and what was I doing.  Paranoia started in and I didn't want to tell them anything because I never talk to these people normally.  I don't care who knows but I don't think they should come up to me and ask.  So I didn't tell them...just said that I had taken control.

I talked to my sister about it and she said I should be proud and tell everyone.  That's coming from someone who probably weighs 120lbs and has never had a weight problem.  I know she's proud of me and wants me to be to.  She also said that I should have told them because they will find out eventually and then think I was hiding it. 

Lots of people at school know about it and I haven't hidden it, but I don't think I should have to tell people that I never talk to just because they asked.  I don't care if they eventually find out.  If they go ask someone who knows and they tell them, then fine.  But still...what do you think?  Should I have handled it differently?

You handled it fine.  You didn't lie so there are no worries about it coming back to haunt you.

It's your decision about how much info to give up to strangers.   I haven't told anyone except my husband and one friend that had the same surgery before me.  My mother and brother don't even know. 

People come up to me all the time and comment about my weight loss.  I don't feel compelled to tell as I'm a private person and my weight issues have always been very personal to me.  I don't lie about it, I tell people I'm working on it weigh loss. 

I agree w/Pooh - you handled it very well.

I have the same issue if I'm setting at our local bar, drinking water (hahaha) and a gal from across the bar who I only know in passing, not buddy buddy with her, she asked me how I had lost all of my weight so far and I said, just cutting back and exercising.  She was fine w/that.  Now had she been setting right next to me, I probably would have told her the truth, but I didn't feel it was appropriate to yell it out across the bar......

Like anything else, there is a time and a place for everything.  We can pick and choose what works best for us.

I tell anyone who asks.  I ran into someone from high school the other day who wouldn't ordinarily have given me a sideways glance.  We weren't friends.  She came over all gushy about my weight loss wanting to know what I was doing.  Darn right I told her.  One - I'm not ashamed of doing it and I want people to know that there is no shame in it.  Now she can go gossip to whomever and I don't care.   If I didn't just tell them and they found out later they would think I was ashamed and trying to hide it.  Two - I didn't do it to lose weight, I did it to get rid of the 15 meds a day I was taking.  I make sure I tell them that too.  I also tell them that it was the best thing I ever did for myself.  If I really want to get up on the soapbox I tell them that it is a tool that requires a lot of work.  1000 calories a day.  regular exercise.  People fail at it like anything else.
You just don't get a "magic" surgery and weight just falls off until you are the perfect size. 

I think there are a lot of people who desperately need WLS who won't have it because of what other people will think of them.  THe more people who are open about it and own it - even if it's not anyone's business - the better it will be down the road for the next person.  That's just my thinking.

Joanna

Honestly it is nobody's business.  I tell people that I exercise more and eat less, because that is what I am doing.  The first person who asked me caught me off guard and that's what came out.  At first like you I thought "should I have told them?", but my mom pointed out that I told them the true, I AM exercising more and eating less.  That's all they need to know.  If they are really interested because they want to lose weight I tell them about all the exercise I am doing and invite them to come work out with me.  A few people asked me if I had the surgery and I said yes, but basically only those I feel close to know.  And sometimes i regret telling some of them.

I run into this sometimes, too. Sometimes I tell them about the surgery and sometimes I don't. It just depends on my mood at the moment, the surroundings, how I feel about the person who is asking - there is no particular rhyme or reason. I've told many people but there have been several that I have just told "I'm eating less" or something really general. It's up to you. You have nothing to be ashamed of and should be proud of yourself. But, it is also a personal medical issue and you don't owe anyone an explanation. Personally, I think it is generally distasteful for people to ask such questions - there are many reasons why people lose weight and the bottom line is that the answer to "how" is always going to be "eating less" and/or "exercising more." They are the only two ways to lose weight. Period. Don't stress over it either way - it's entirely up to you how you want to handle the question.

I think everyone has their own preference.. so if you don't want to give any information it should be your right.. I have told some people.. and my reason for is cause they said things like.." ooh you won't lose more than 80lbs with that surgery.. or ooh your doing that surgery because you don't have to work out..." SO I HAD TO SHUT THEM UP... I eat right, did what the DOC said, and work out which help me maximize my weight loss.. "HATERS"... I mean my sister  who is 98lbs said that I would not be breathing after surgery.. gave me the shivers making me feel I was going six feet under... man.. and that's my kin folks!! SO I SAY WHO CARES ITS UP TO YOU!! I mean I think when you are FATTER people are happier because they feel a control over you... but once you do a 90 DEGREE TURN... they say you are not the SAME.. HELLO... THAT's THE POINT... MRS. DAHUGGS your doing AWESOME.. and if you don't wont them to know its up to you.. because they didn't pay anything on your surgery.. LOL!!

PEACE & LUV