Weight loss and marriage/relationships...

Did losing weight change your relationship or marriage? In a good way? In a bad way?  I am now officially smaller than I was when my DH and I met and marriage almost 10yrs ago.  He said he has always been and is attracted to larger women.  I think some of this plays into the fact he is a large, football player type guy (imagine a linebacker/tackle's body) and larger women seemed-for lack of a better word-sturdier.   Don't get me wrong, we have a good marriage and still hold our common goals that led us to marriage but I wonder if anyone else has experienced the feeling that losing weight may appear to make one gorgeous-beautiful in pop culture, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and losing weight and becoming skinnier is not always attractive to some. Any thoughts from you all?

I dont things have changed much.  He said you know when we first met you were overweight and then you lost weight and then gained it all back plus more.  He said he was just always worried for what it could do to my health.  I am smaller than i have ever been in my entire life.  He is telling me that im to small.  Whatever that means.  My husband is 5'10 and 160 lbs.

I am back to the size I was when I first met Bob so many years ago.  He has stood by me through "thick and thin".  Outwardly my size never mattered to him but I know that in some ways it had to have bothered him to see me gain so much weight.  He NEVER mentioned it nor did he criticize me for it.    We have endured so much stress and pain in our lives the past few years that our relationship had to either endure or break. It stood the test of time. Our relationship is stronger than ever but not because of my weightloss.  It has endured because of true and everlasting love.

I have never been married, so I cannot speak to that.  However, I can tell you that research does show that any change, both good and bad, can stress a relationship.    It stresses it to have to change.  Some relationships are not flexible enough to meet change and others are...so I am sure that some people's marriages end with the weight loss.  My relationship of 10 years ended, because what made me decide to lose weight also made me decide that I deserved more than what I was getting in the relationship.  The weight loss was really not the cause but may have been the effect of a decision I made about the relationshipand myself..  However, if a relationship is flexible and basically one that is good, then Gwen's story is more the norm.  I think things have changed at your house and everyone has to adjust....that does not mean that it is a negative change or outcome.  The fact is, if he loves you...he is still going to love you...if he didn't, then gaining or losing weight doesn't make a difference.  And Health should be the thing that determines how much and why you lost weight...and the weight that you stay at...not social pressure.

Karla, you may not have been married on paper or by the legal definition of the word but you were married in your heart.  You shared your life and your home with this gentleman for 10 years and that is about as married as you can get  

 You know I had to chime in... Our relationship is 1000% better.   Small or big, Tim loves me no matter what.  I know that deep down inside my heart.  But, when I lost weight, the chains of desire were let loose and he finds me more attractive now than ever. So, each couple is different. 

Whew!! this is good news to hear,I love it when these men Love their women..Have a good oneJackie,

my dh has never said either way if he likes it better or not, i know at first he never noticed the weight loss and he would walk right past me in walmart searching for me, i guess he still saw me as the other person. dunno?  and even now sometimes he will look right past me or walk past me without seeing me. and i am four years out, i have lost almost 150 lbs.  I do not think our relationship has gotten worse but maybe that is b/c down deep i am the same person just a different package. change scares alot of ppl though maybe that is what it is. good luck and God bless

I was a size 5 when I met my husband and eventually gained up to a size 22.  My husband said that he was always proud to call me his wife no matter what my size.  He is, however, starting to get a little more frisky now that I am getting smaller so I would have to say that losing weight is in some way enhancing the great marriage we already have. Sandi