My son says I am a cheater....

who has no will power ........  :( 

Who do or did you tell about your surgery? does everyone have to know? I am scared of peoples comments IRL. As you can tell my ODS oldest dear son)  is having a hard time with my decision, he obviously does not understand the strain that being over weight puts on a woman health wise and emotionally. He keeps telling me I am a cheater and taking the easy way out. His comments really hurt me especially since he has seen me yoyo diet his whole life.

I am sure my family and some of my friends will NIT understand. :(

My husband, older brother and Mom are on board with me. My Mom is not 100% happy with my decision but she said she will support me no matter what.

Oh Latin, no offense meant to you at all so please don't take it that way, BUT you need to smack the SH*T out of your son!!  He sounds to be approximately 14-24 years old (even though your picture makes it really hard to imagine you could possibly have a son that old).  Rude, disrespectful behavior smacks of that age of stupidity.

Take what he says with a grain of salt.  Betteryet, let him know how he has hurt your feelings.  I am sorry he did this and I know it does matter to you, however in the end you have to please only yourself, so just do what you think needs to be done.  Theothers will follow with support, or they wont.  It really doesn't matter.  YOU are the only one that matters when it comes to this decision.

Big hugs for you!!
jillie

Jillie~ lol! no offense taken at all! and yup you guessed it he is a teenager..... I guess because he has seen how different I am when I am thin that he would understand me. I did have him at a young age and I worked my tush off to give him the best on my own his first 5 years. I should let it slide off me thanks for the support

Deehoney~ You are right it is none of their business but what do you say when they see you melt? I will admit that I don't see my extended family much, a large part has to do with the fact that my cousins are rail thin and if they didn't need to eat to live they probably wouldn't, they also don't have 4 kids or even one for that case. I am sure that by the time I see them I will have lost quite a bit....

Chris~ He does deserve a smack over the head lol! I have to really change the way I think and not care what people think.... the funny thing is I usually don't but being over weight has changed so many things about me.

Rhonda & Diane~ You are right I do need to educate him on what I am doing. I have explained it to him since I am 99.9% sure that I am going the laproscopic RNY way. He is just so hard headed sometimes and I am so sensitive lately. Oh NIT was a spelling error for NOT lol! and IRL mean in real life.

Kim~ LMAO!!! you made me almost pee in my chair! Thanks (((hug))) I needed that.

Barb~ My family loves gossip! I swear anything they can get they go on and on about until a bigger thing happens. Also a lot of my fathers side of the family are uneducated, my godmother told me that I had my last three kiddos the "easy way" by C-section. I was livid since I did have my ODS natural and wow what a difference! I little sutures down there and recovery is piece of cake now surgery? I know if I say how I lost weight I won't hear the end of it.

Ms. Shell, Bebaugh, and msblues~ Thanks for your advice and support 

mystimel~ THANK YOU! I really loved your post, everything you said is so true. Why shouldn't I take a "easier" way out if I can? I shouldn't have to sacrifice my happiness just so that people won't comment. I have tried many ways of weight loss some worked some didn't and well if they would have really worked I would not be the size I am with pain in my ankles walking like I am 12 months pregnant.

I will say I talked to my son on the way to camp today and he is still totally against it and unsupportive. He says that he has always seen me as being a very strong person, that I am his hero and that this surgery would mean that I am weak. I will say I had to fight the tears but I did manage to tell him that even heroes need help sometimes and that if he feels this way I am sorry, but I need to take care of myself first so that I can take care of him and his siblings.

The more I think about this the more I know that I am making the best decision for me and my family. Thank you all so much for your words of support

I can tell you now that just a little over 2 weeks out from surgery, THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT!  This is not easy.  I've learned more about myself and my food addiction in the last 2 weeks more than I have over the years of me being overweight. 

Now, with that said, I've told my close family members, and a few friends. I've only told the friends and family that I know will support me. I don't talk about it with anyone else.  It's really none of their business, IMO.  For me, I'm a more of a private person anyway and this surgery was a very personal decision. 

Oh dear Lord .  . this is SO NOT the easy way out . . . I agree - slap that kid!  (joking) and if you decide to go lapband . . . the words "bandster hell" will haunt you for your first 6 weeks . . . because until you start getting fills to HELP you use the tool, you are hungry!  (Speaking from experience).  All the different types of surgeries are tools to help you . . . you still have to make the right choices and move and take the supplements and drink the water . .. it is all about YOU and your commitment to help yourself . . .

I would only tell people you are comfortable with telling.  Myself, I discussed it all over the place - but that is just me.  The important part is that other opinions don't matter . . . yours does!

Best of luck to you!
Chris

Tell your son to eat Rocks.  If you think or anyone thinks that any type of gastric surgery is easy, then they are clueless.  Our job is to educate them.  This has been the toughest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life!   You will see and they will see but not till later.

As far as who you tell, tell who you want and dont' tell who you don't want to.  It is your choice and your choice alone.  Me I tell everyone.  It is just easier for me.

 

Rhonda

Easy??? Ha.....no, it's as hard as anything else I have done in my life.  It's a tool, you don't use it correctly and you don't get anything out of it except scars.  So educate him.

As far as who I told, anyone I wanted to.  I frankly don't care what anyone said.  It is my life, my body, my health and my decision.  The only thing that is cheating, is you, cheating yourself out of a happier healthier life.

Of course until you have decided which kind of surgery you are going to have, you can't educate anyone.  Hopefully after the doctors appt, you will get online and learn everything there is about which surgery you decide on.  Actually, now is the time to educate yourself and make that decision. 

Also can you tell me what IRL and NIT means.  Thanks and good luck,

Diane

Diane...IRL means In Real Life..that's all I know...

Hi Latin,

I am so sorry that your ignorant son had said those mean things to you. 
Getting surgery is no easy feat.  There is nothing "easy" about being cut on, banded or having your plumbing reconfigured.  Know this... You are not a failure.  This will probably be the best decision you will ever make in life!  Grab ahold to it and don't let it go.  Oh and by the way, slap you son into next week, slap him back into this week and then make him give a report on what he had seen.

Kim

Hey Latin,

I totally agree with what the others have said.  Your son needs to realize that it's not all about him!!!  This is your body, your health, your life and your decision!

That being said, I have chosen NOT to tell my side of my family about my surgery, mainly because my childred (sadly) have chosen to exclude me from their lives and they don't need to know what's going on with mine and some of my family members love that sort of drama, I on the other hand, can't stand it.  However, my husband's family, my friends and co-workers all know/knew and they are/were wonderfully supportive.  Now, telling one side not to leak it to the other at family events where both sides come together is tricky but so far so good.  If it does come out, it does and I will deal with it then.  Perhaps it's not the best way, but that too was MY choice.

Hugs,
Barb