My son says I am a cheater....

I live by ONE rule it's MY life and if you even THINK about giving me a negative attitude I'll smack you PERIOD.  So becasue that's how I've ALWAYS been, I heard not one negative peep from one person.  Even those who had no clue about WLS got educated cause those were curious.

You teach people how to treat you.  What your son said was disrespectful and should have been put in his place.  I would have NEVER said anything remotely like that to my mother.  If I had queries I would have ASKED and TALKED and if SHE thought I should know she would have told me.

Good luck to you.

Ms Shell

Just how old is your son?  You look so young so I can't imange he is all that old.  I can tell you my boys even to this day hate it when I get a different hair cut.  Luckily the are old enough to support my WLS.  They have been worried about my eating and weight for years even since they were old enough to realize I have a problem.  So tell you son you will always love him, and though you may look different in the outside you will still be mom on the inside (an imporved mom).  Like someone else said teenager can be a pain in the ass!

I told the family members I am close to, but not family I don't see often.  I told people I manage and a few co-workers in a branch office.  I just felt it would be easier to tell people I see everyday, but it took me a long time to decide to tell them.  I really like the people I manage and I knew they would be supportive and discreet about telling others.  I chose safe people to share this info with, meaning people I knew who weren't going to fault me or say things like your son did. 

I want people to like me and hold me in high esteem and at first I thought telling anyone I was having gastric bypass surgery would cause people to see me in a lesser light, but I had to get over that and realize other people aren't living my life.  I obviously still hold a lot of shame for being overweight.  I am still working on that one.

I am glad you're posting questions and coming to this board for support. That is very important. Good luck in talking with your son about this.  I hope he can understand that this isn't the easy way out. It's the healthy way out!!

Best of luck,
MsBlues

It's not like you can eat whatever after surgery. It's a huge change! You eat miniscule amounts, you have to eat protein sources every chance you get, you have to take vitamins every day 3 times a day or more depending. There's the pain and recovery from surgery too, and it's for LIFE. Few people dieting ever make the sort of commitments we make with surgery. There's also no taking it all back. Once it's done, it's done and you're stuck with your decision. He could never make the commitment you have made.

Despite all those reasons surgery is hard... I still feel it's easier than dieting. It's hard, but dieting was impossible for me, surgery made things possible and for that I am eternally grateful and humbled. I'm glad I got the help I needed. I also know more people need this help, they're just too jaded to see they need it. They take a long time before they face the facts and realize diet doesn't work for them, as it doesn't for over 90% of MO people. So yes... easier.... but not easy. What's wrong with easier though, especially when the alternative is impossible? I can't remember another time I took the harder way of doing things because of peer pressure. I'm not going to refuse the help I need in order to make some sort of noble sacrifice of my own well being and happiness in order to fulfill someone else's idea of "rightness"

With that said... so far I've told almost everyone. I'm not putting it on my myspace or anything, but if I get the chance to personally say it face to face and the subject comes up, I say it. I'm not afraid of the disapproving people. They need to hear it most really because they need to get educated in the facts. I don't want them to be the ones telling their loved ones they're cheating by having surgery when they really need the support. I want them to know someone who's made it through alive and well. I've got enough support that I can handle some disagreements. The naysayers can just kiss my skinny ass at the end of it all, lol.

where is my SUPER long reply I wrote?

Post Date: 8/28/09 9:41 pm
Jillie~ lol! no offense taken at all! and yup you guessed it he is a teenager..... I guess because he has seen how different I am when I am thin that he would understand me. I did have him at a young age and I worked my tush off to give him the best on my own his first 5 years. I should let it slide off me thanks for the support

Deehoney~ You are right it is none of their business but what do you say when they see you melt? I will admit that I don't see my extended family much, a large part has to do with the fact that my cousins are rail thin and if they didn't need to eat to live they probably wouldn't, they also don't have 4 kids or even one for that case. I am sure that by the time I see them I will have lost quite a bit....

Chris~ He does deserve a smack over the head lol! I have to really change the way I think and not care what people think.... the funny thing is I usually don't but being over weight has changed so many things about me.

Rhonda & Diane~ You are right I do need to educate him on what I am doing. I have explained it to him since I am 99.9% sure that I am going the laproscopic RNY way. He is just so hard headed sometimes and I am so sensitive lately. Oh NIT was a spelling error for NOT lol! and IRL mean in real life.

Kim~ LMAO!!! you made me almost pee in my chair! Thanks (((hug))) I needed that.

Barb~ My family loves gossip! I swear anything they can get they go on and on about until a bigger thing happens. Also a lot of my fathers side of the family are uneducated, my godmother told me that I had my last three kiddos the "easy way" by C-section. I was livid since I did have my ODS natural and wow what a difference! I little sutures down there and recovery is piece of cake now surgery? I know if I say how I lost weight I won't hear the end of it.
I found it!
Ms. Shell, Bebaugh, and msblues~ Thanks for your advice and support 

mystimel~ THANK YOU! I really loved your post, everything you said is so true. Why shouldn't I take a "easier" way out if I can? I shouldn't have to sacrifice my happiness just so that people won't comment. I have tried many ways of weight loss some worked some didn't and well if they would have really worked I would not be the size I am with pain in my ankles walking like I am 12 months pregnant.

I will say I talked to my son on the way to camp today and he is still totally against it and unsupportive. He says that he has always seen me as being a very strong person, that I am his hero and that this surgery would mean that I am weak. I will say I had to fight the tears but I did manage to tell him that even heroes need help sometimes and that if he feels this way I am sorry, but I need to take care of myself first so that I can take care of him and his siblings.

The more I think about this the more I know that I am making the best decision for me and my family. Thank you all so much for your words of support