I need suggestions

Kathy B.
on 8/22/03 1:11 am - East Windsor, CT
I'm a very private person and I've decided that I don't want to tell very many people about what type of surgery I am going to be having. For example, work will need to know that I am out having surgery, and close family members will know that I am in the hospital -- but I don't want to tell them WHY. The issue is this - I don't want to lie either. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can say the reason is for my hospitalization - without it being a flat-out lie? I appreciate any/all input. Regards, Kathy B.
PookieW2
on 8/22/03 2:05 am - Milford, CT
Kathy, I think that you may just want to say you are having some stomach surgery. You may even say its just exploratory. That way you aren't out right lying, just not telling the full story. Eventually you will have to explain because once you start losing weight people are going to start thinking you are really sick and have cancer or something. Hope you figure out what to do. Are you planning on going to the next support group meeting on Sept. 9th? If so I would love to get to talk to you somemore.....Take care
Angela R.
on 8/22/03 4:05 am - Jewett City, CT
Kathy, I am a christian and I understand the reasons why you just don't want to look like your lieing to anyone.. Listen I agree with that last post.. Just say you have to have some surgery on your belly done. Ok gotta run Be Blessed Angela
Angela R.
on 8/22/03 7:17 am - Jewett City, CT
Kathy B , good luck with it all. I see this as a Gift From God and im willing to let everyone know.. maybe you should think about telling them the truth.. God Bless
LMCLILLY
on 8/27/03 2:36 am - Central, CT
Hi Kathy. I understand. It's a tough situation when you really want to keep this private, but feel obligated to 'tell the truth'. First, let me say this- you are not obligated to 'tell' this information to anyone but your immediate support circle who you will need help from. We often have this sense, especially being women, that we need to explain ourselves to everyone. Let me tell you this, in no uncertain terms, YOU DON"T NEED TO TELL ANYONE ANYTHING. You are not legally bound to tell anyone at work anything at all about what TYPE of surgery you are having. Say you prefer not to discuss it, because it's very personal. You understand that you are not obligated to tell your work anything specific about the surgery, right? They only need to know surgery and length of time out. Period. Your surgeon can write a letter stating you will be having thoracic surgery or an in-patient surgical procedure (or whatever vague thing he want's to call it) and the length of time he will order you to be out. This will be sufficent for HR purposes. So, what this comes down to is, it's either tell a lie, or keep quiet. Those are the only options for you if you don't want to 'let the cat out of the bag.' There is nothing in between. I've heard people say all sorts of things from gall bladder surgery to female surgery as an excuse. But, it's all a well meaning lie. That was their choice. I felt comfortable saying nothing for a long time. Simply put "Thank you for your concern, but it is very personal and I perfer not to discuss it with anyone except my husband and doctor." 'Nuff said! Good luck to you!
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