Regret ? Question for vets

on 11/21/11 9:13 am, edited 11/21/11 9:16 am - TX
 I am having massive "buyers remorse". My hubby, not a bit. He is concerned I feel this way and really bothers him. He's worried that I'm always going to feel like I made a mistake.  He asked me to get on here and ask you about it. 
Emily F.
on 11/21/11 9:18 am
I never had a moment but its very very common. And from what I can tell, I don't see any one that still regrets it years out. I'm sure you will find the pro's soon enough.
(deactivated member)
on 11/21/11 9:30 am, edited 11/21/11 9:31 am - TX
Heather, sweetheart, you've just had major surgery as a chaser to the major surgery you had a few months ago.  Physically, your body could handle it but I'm sure it's taking an emotional, hormonal, exhausting toll on your spirit.  

Cut yourself a little slack.  It's been one week. You are not required to bounce back immediately and be all sunshine and happiness.  Sometimes it takes a while for your body to adjust and things to smooth out--and that's in people who haven't already had a surgery in the previous 3 months!

You cannot compare yourself to Chris.  Men are wired weird in the first place, but you know that! ;-)   Beyond that, there is a reason YMMV is such an abundantly used abbreviation: your mileage may vary.  There is not cookie cutter DS experience, everybody is different.  

Your only obligation is to get yourself hydrated.  If you need to sit in that recliner, getting up for short walks, and sip and that is IT, that's OK.  I know you are with family but they need to understand this is MAJOR surgery and you need to be able to recover.  If you are the sort of person who does better getting up and moving to get your mind off how you feel, grab a bottle o'hydration and go. . .within reason.  

But stop comparing your experience with Chris', you may be married but you aren't the same.  Steve and I had very different experiences in our recovery.  

Oops, Edited to add the answer to your question:  Not sure if at 2 years and 1 year out respectively we qualify as vets but neither of us regrets the choice to have the surgery--did we have moments in those first few weeks where we weren't too sure?  Yes.  But long term, no regrets.
(deactivated member)
on 11/21/11 9:42 am
I did not have buyer's remorse but a LOT of people have.  I mean a LOT.  It's normal, don't worry and like Tracy said, don't compare.  I know of some people that had buyer's remorse for months and now are over the top happy with their decision.

Keep sipping, you are gonna be OK.

on 11/21/11 9:50 am - MI
I had buyer's remorse too. Luckily it stopped when the nausea finally started to subside around four months out or so. I kept thinking to myself that nausea was not what I signed up for, until I was reminded that not only did I sign up for it, but I paid for it also. 

It gets better. I promise. 

 I am not like I was before. I thought that nothing would change me. ~Sinead O'Connor
Elizabeth N.
on 11/21/11 10:15 am - Burlington County, NJ
Heather, relax. You are SUPPOSED to feel like crap on a stick right now. He's the weird one for feeling better than that :-p. You are going to be fine. Now quit comparing yourself to him, sip your water, walk and rest.

And have you looked into getting IV fluids yet?

Lisa A.
on 11/21/11 10:53 am - Windsor, NY
I hear you on "buyers remorse". I had a really rough time like you are having so that is where the buyers remorse came in. I kept think I know I was obese but I was happy, had a loving family, a good job and now I am in terrible condition. I could barely take care of myself - how could I take care of my family? I felt so guilty. My kids were older than your son - They are 22, 21 & 17 so at least when I felt like crap (which was pretty much for six months) I didn't really have to worry about them.

I agree with what the vets have told you. I was very dehydrated. I was naeutous and throwing up all the time. I don't know what I was throwing up because there was nothing in there. I even threw up water. I went back to ER at one week out and got hydrated.

Then you have to push the liquids. Ice chips became my best friend. I had a cup with me everywhere and I coudl just chew on little pieces (it all adds up). I also bought those freezer pops and had them all day. I also froze snapples (they don't crack in freezer) and made slussies. At this point I just needed to feel better and get hydrated and didn't even worry about vitamins. I was taking Reglan and a PPI and zofran.

I also became very anxious after surgery. It is such a new way of life. As prepared as I thought I was - I wasn't. Just the thought of having to get in so much protein each day and taking all those vitamins each day was stressing me out to the max. My gyno told me that with me losing fat cells so quickly my hormones were all whacked out and that was making me feel anxious. I just wanted to feel like "myself" again.

I won't lie. It was a long hard road. I went back to work after 3 weeks and I don't know how I did it. I have a wonderful boss that was so understanding. I threw up in work multiple times a day. As I started to feel a bit better I then reintroduced foods. It was like when you start a baby out in food. I started with baby foods, cottage cheese and baby pears, etc. and slowly introduced foods gradually.

Eventually you do start to feel "normal" or you learn a "new normal". I really feel for you because your in an awful stage. Some people have no problems (so jelous of them) and others have a very tough time (like us).

Good Luck to you and hang in there!!! If I can help at all (definately not vet material) please PM me.
Chad M.
on 11/21/11 12:09 pm - Indianapolis, IN
Yes, I absolutely had buyer's remorse for some time after my surgery. You're 7 days out according to your profile. Relax. Take deep breaths. Learn to pray, medidate, whatever. It will be months before you feel anywhere close to normal again.
on 11/21/11 12:30 pm
i did not have buyer's remorse...  but i remember around the same time i had surgery, there was another that seemed to be pretty miserable.  it was tough for me to see how it could be that bad, but it really does affect all of us differently.  said person is now doing wonderfully, btw.  give yourself some time.  it will get better, it just takes a different adjustment period for all of us.

Panda ..
on 11/23/11 2:17 am
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