My family

I am finally going to get my surgery and my family is so excited for me. My dh is awesome he goes to all my appts with me and reads everything he can to help me with info. My sons are so interested in whats going on and how things work. But i wondering as you lose weight and your body changes do you change personality wise to? Do you still have the family support? I had a cuz tell me you will change and become a b---h. I told her nah i wont Im already a b---- the weight is just keepin it in. I am pretty much a doormat for everyone right now I wont to be the one to sweep the doormat. Im tired of being told you are so sweet and funny and we know we can depend on you. I want to be sweet and funny and feared and live for the moment. Dont get me wrong i have a great family including cousins and friends who i know love me. My husbands family is great also even though they are all thin. It is so sad because my family is not embarrsed of me im embarrsed of myself. My son has high school orientation in 2 weeks and my hubby is going with him cause i dont wonna go and embaress him.. See my bmi is like 70 and i can hardly walk. After the surgery im hopin to be the person on the outside that i am on the inside. Did you all become more outspoken and daring . Im sorry my thoughts have no meaning and i ramble..

I am better able to express myself to people that know me.  I need to remember people that don't know me as the fat person have no base point.  At almost 10 months out I still see myself as the "Same Old Person" as far as looks.  It is when i see myself in a mirror I realize I am not the same person. When yo go to family gatherings realize there will be people there that do not know you.  I am involved in a Christian outreach group that the other people have known me for 6 years.  I go to events and most will not realize who I am.  When someone lets them know they can't handle the new look I have.  Friends and family will be uncomfortable around you as you will be around them for awhile because they just can't believe how you look. When you see the shrink let them explain it to you. Your spouse will have to understand that you become the center of attention because of the change.  The spouse may feel left out and you will need to included them by going out of your way. It is a REBIRTH and most will celebrate their surgery dates rather then birth dates after the procedure. Hope my rambling helps. E

My family was always talking to  each about my, never once did any of them tell me my weight was the reason they didnt ask me to visit. My 2 daughters & 1 son in law was with me from MY decision to have the surgery. I did lots of reshearch a whole year before I made my choice.  My mom & sibings were so surprised, but not supportive of me. I had friends that wereand still are there for me. Its been over 5 years since one of my sisters ask me to go anywhere with her. About 2 weeks ago she said "we should go shopping" or something. But now I have lost almost 190 pounds she wants me to go. I still feel and act the same. I am just different on the outside. If people think I was a b-t-h before surgery I must be one now. I have not changed at all.One more thing you are so blessed to have your dh with you and support you.  Sorry I didnt mean to have a pity party your post was so real. Hugs and Blessings, Gail

Hi there, I am 2 1/2 yrs. out, and have gone thru alot of changes. At first there are so many wow moments and  alot of attention that you have to be aware of YOUR attitude. I agree with those who've responded, keep your loved ones included,like going to our get togethers, SG meetings, exchanges, etc. I did go thru some personality changes, but hopefully for the better! Some so called "friends" left me due to not being there "eating buddy" anymore, some family members thought I was crazy to do this, & still make my favs , "just cause you love it so much", and some have been supportive. I think it is important to remember we don't have to focus every conversation on US- our recovery, our weight loss, our changes. That would bore me to death too!!! Hang in there, keep asking questions, and keep posting. The people here are so supportive, "been there done that" and so loving. They are my real "family" & will help you get thru the rough spots as best they can.  Remember, there are professionals out there that will help you, if you get stuck or need there help. I know it has blessed my life!

((((hugs))))

Ellen   

I love you guys you are so swet. Its funny about me being the center of attention. Cause i already am im the funny one with stories or jokes my dh is so quiet that he feeds off of me..It just works. Ive spent the afternoon with my 24 yr  old son and he says my familys problem is in his words MOM THE ONLY THING WRONG WITH THEM IS YOUR GONNA HAVE A NEW LIFE AND THERE AFRAID YOU WONT HAVE TIME TO HELP THEM LIVE THEIR LIVES..smart kid he got a big hug and kiss. But really thank you all i love your comments..

I'm just 3 months out but I can tell a change in myself already.  I don't consider it a bad change though.  I think I'm more confident.   My family and friends have been amazing!  There's not a day that goes by where someone doesn't tell me how proud they are of me.  It really is a great thing, this surgery.  I know it will be for you as well. I still have so many more "wow" moments and I'm looking forward to each one.   It's hard to explain but you'll know what I'm talking about pretty soon. Congrats on getting your success so far.  I look forward to going through it all with you! Blessings, Jacqui

I don't think my personality has changed much since surgery. I'm more outgoing and friendlier I think a lil bit but I'm still the same ol me.

First off, you don't have to apologize for rambleing because everyone does it sometimes.  I am 3 and a half months out of surgery. I had my cousin tell me before the surgery that she didn't want me to change afterward because sometimes when people lost weight they became snooty. I told her that I am me and I am planning on staying me. I feel that I have changed but it is for the better. I feel more sure of myself and look at things differently. I like the feeling that I am a worthwhile person now because I didn't feel that before. I feel more of a bounce in my walk because of the changes in me.  Some people notice and say something and others say nothing at all. Most of my family are so happy for me and tell me that they are so excited for me that they love watching the change in me. I notice a personality change but not a physical change. I look the same to me that I always did but things must be changing because I am taking smaller clothes.  That is just a positive thing about this thing. I did it most for the health. I wanted to take control of my health and this was the only way that I was going to do it. I am sure that some think I did it to be a "hot" woman but at my age I think my "hot" days are gone except in flashes. lol    It isn't my problem if people understand why I did it anyway. Al long as I know that I did the right thing for me that is all that matters. As long as I am true to my God and myself that is what is important to me in the end.  As I learned so many years ago in Overeaters Anonymous I have to keep on trudging the road to recovery. No one said that it a skipping road it is trudging and no one said that it is a short one either. Just be true to you and the rest will follow. No matter what anyone says. And by the way - your son has a lot of knowledge about people too.  Keep posting and most of everyone here has been there and done that and those who haven't learn at the same time as those of us who haven't. 

Uhhh...scratch what I said before and put "ditto" for me under what Brenda said.  She hit it right on the head! Jacqui

Lizzie, I have changed in that I refuse to be ran over and used anymore. Trust me, my mother & siblings don't like that...and I don't care. Life is so much better without the drama of them in my life anyway. I have learned that I have to be more sensitive about my daughters' weight now. Before, 'we' were both obese...now that 'we' aren't, I have to be very careful not to hurt her feelings. My co-workers think I'm more open & talkative now. I don't really think that is the case..there anyway. About the same time as my RNY, I moved so now my desk is nearer to theirs...so it's easier to talk. So..I don't think I'm anymore talkative than I wanted to be all along...location just allows me to be. I've only 'lost' one friend. She was a size 14 and 6' when we met..I was a size 24/26. The last time I saw her? I was a size 10/12 and she was a 22/24. I think it really bothered her because I was the 'fat one' before...not her. I think it's a shame that she let her weight get in the way of our friendship..especially considering I never allowed mine to.  But....I have gained hundreds of friends! And many, many are very dear to my heart. Yes, I'm talking about you guys here on OH. You have more than made up for any 'losses' I may have with friends or family. And best of all? You love me for who I am NOT for what I can do for you!! So..have I changed? Yes. I have changed to the point of knowing that I deserve to have friends like you! Sherri