Hi Daniel,
You were actually one of the first successful people I met in this adventure. You were selling your cookbook at one of the information sessions I attended at Sinai.
I not only have heard the "you look sickly" comments but they came from people in my direct support structure. My strategy for dealing with it was to look them in the eye and say, that I was not sick, I felt great, and they just needed some time to get used to the way I looked.
It was funny. Before my surgery, (and at 350 lbs) I never had any trouble taking off my shirt and my wife never made one comment about my weight. Now that I am 185, I dislike the way the skin hangs around my belly so I won't take my shirt off and my wife is always commenting that I am too skinny. Interesting how things change.
In any case...remember that people are used to the old you. They remember you being heavy and the only rationale, in their minds, when they see you at a normal weight, is that you must be sick. I have had people ask my wife if I was sick before they approached me to tell me that I looked good.
I will point something else out that I have noticed. When I was fat. Only kids would ever say anything about it. Adults would act as if nothing was out of the ordinary. But now that I am normal sized, people have no issue with coming up to me and telling me I look too skinny or ask if I am sick. While I don't really mind...I find it interesting that there is this feeling that you can just blurt out anything you want if the person does not fit your idea of what "healthy" should be as long as they weigh less than them. I think in many cases it is not that they think you look unhealthly, they are simply jelous and have no other way to express it.
Keep your weight where you feel comfortable and are healthy. Don't let others dictate what you do. If I learned anything from your books, that would be it. Eat what you know is right and don't get into the old habits. If you were comfortable at the lower weight...and felt good about yourself...then get back to it and ignore the comments (yes...I know...easier said than done). This is about you. Not what others think.
(down from my soap box!) :-)
As for the holidays. I had some things that were out of the ordinary. I did not break any of my big rules (no chocolate, no seconds, etc), but I did not deny myself either. I had some of the beef my step mother cooked, even though it had gravy on it. I had a virgin pina colada. I had two sugar cookies. I had some lamb. I gained a couple of pounds. But right after the holidays were over, I got back to my routines and picked up my exercise a bit. We are barely a week out and I am back to where I was before the holidays.
Isn't that what "normal" people do? They endulge a bit and then go back to the good behavours? Just get back to what you know is right and stop beating yourself up. You are an inspiration to many of us out here. There are going to be times when things are rough or you can't avoid eating something wrong. But the trick, and what most of us were not able to do before the surgery, is getting back to "normal" after the the rough times.
Take a deep breath. Focus on what you need to do. And just do it. If you get back to the weight you feel comfortable with and you look in the mirror and don't like what you see. Then change it. Otherwise, know that you are healthy, comfortable, and right on track.
Regards,
Dave
Every morning in
Africa , a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in
Africa , a lion wakes up. It knows that it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or a gazelle when the sun comes up you'd better be running.
Aime
