To tell or not to tell.....

I let people know. If they ask they find out why. I do, however, when asked by an obese person let them know I made it look easier than it really is. When they start asking questions that are really deep like they are considering it I now tell them first thing that they could die from it. It is high risk elective surgery and the last step in treatment. I had a paren****ch me and she had RNY about a month and a half ago. She has had 5 surgeries since then. The complication list is unreal. I feel responsible in a way because she saw how it worked for me. She had it done before I knew it and had only expressed and interest before. I feel bad for her. I meta gal in the CORI office who had major complications about two months after I had mine. She knew I was a "cheerleader" for the surgery and had a hard time talking to me about her situation. In my opinion she should be the one talking and not me. She knows the rough road that I never saw. I can't remember who she was but I can see her face just like it was yesterday. This is a fine line we walk. kp

Years ago in a state far away, I saw a former roommate's boyfriend after a year. "Henry, I said, you look wonderful, but are you okay?" He explained that it was intended weight loss, and that he was marvelously healthy. I don't know how he lost it, all I wanted to know was that he was OK. Will I tell? Depends on who they are and why they ask. Will I volunteer it to people who didn't know me when I was obese? No, nor that I had a car accident a few years ago nor a sandbox in my back yard as a child. Not pertinent. And I don't need to know it about their surgical history either. I agree that surgery is a treatment for a disease, but I never want to be the cause for anyone else to go through it. I am not absolutely, completely sure that I couldn't have tried a few other things before having it and I'm not positive that I will be able to keep it off. Because I feel that way, and because of the potential complications, I will not recommend it. I'll answer questions honestly, I'll offer high praise for my surgeon and the Bariatric Center at St Mary Mercy, but I don't want to be the reason someone puts their already risky body at more immediate risk. Thanks for making me think about this!

Thanks to everyone for their great feedback. I appreciate everyone's point of view and, as always, learned quite a bit from my friends on this board. Hope you're having a good weekend.

Hi Brenda, I guess I am the odd ball........I chose not to tell. My family of course knows but I have not shared it with anyone else. I just don't think that my medical history is any ones buisness. I guess I am pretty sensitive to this issue because I have had a lot of rude and nosy people that ask and make comments about my weight and its not because they are interested in having the surgery themselves. I just don't understand why someones weight has to be such an issue! I just want to live my life as a "normal" person. Sorry about sounding so negitive and don't get me wrong this surgery is the BEST thing that I have ever done for myself and I love my surgeon Dr. Carlin for changing and IMPROVING my life! WLS is truley an amazing life saving surgery!!!!!!!! This is just my personal decision that I do admit that even after a year post op I still struggle with it! Your WLS Pal, Jennifer V.

Hi Everyone, I just read over my post and I realized maybe I should be more clear on something. It's NOT the decision to have WLS that I struggle with, it is weather to tell people or not. The decision to have WLS is the BEST thing that I have ever done and if I had too, I would do again in a heart beat! I just wanted to make sure that was clear. Thanks........ Your WLS Pal, Jennifer V.