Sitting at Caribou, Contemplating the Future...

I'm not there yet -- not a post-surgery gal. BUT, I'm curious what it will be like. How will people react?
I'm confident in my own emotions, but I can't predict what others will do.
I'd love to hear your experience.
I read a lot about people not telling others about their surgery. I've been open. My whole family knows (mom, dad, sis, grandma), my boyfriend, my best friend, two gal friends, and a good deal of my coworkers. That is my choice. I do not care if the knowledge of my choice falls into 'ill' hands. What can they do? Tell me that I took the "easy way out"? I guess that's about it.

But if change occurs -- and it sure as hell will if I have anything to do with it -- will people change too? Will they feel scared? Jealous? Confused? Angry? I guess what I am contemplating is where to stand when I get the surgery. If a person tells me I look great, will I always respond with, "Oh, I got weight loss surgery." Maybe I will... in my pride... or maybe I won't...in my shame? I don't know. I suppose you all learned your role as the days came.

Lots of things to ponder as you get close, aren't there?  I'm like you...I was always open about having WLS pre-op and am still open about it.  I have always wore my heart on my sleeve and I never felt it necessary to keep it a secret.  If anything, I wanted to be open about it BECAUSE it is still looked at by the majority of the nation in a negative light and therefore talking about it brings familiarity to it and educates people on it and maybe just maybe as they see the positives that come from it, they won't look at it negatively, kwim?   As for what I do now if someone says I look great?  Well if its just a quick in passing situation, I just politely say "thank you" with a smile.  If it's someone I'm actually sitting down having a conversation with and my weight loss comes up and they ask how I did it, I'll share more and will usually tell them I had WLS as well.  I just go on a situation by situation basis. Good luck as you approach your new rebirthday!!!  (((((Hugs)))) Michelle

Thanks for the response!! I really appreciate it!! I'm glad to hear others are ok with being open too.

I too was open with everyone about my surgery.  Everyone around me knew my struggle with obesity and many of them were worried about me, so telling them made sense to me.  I did have a few co-workers who had negative reactions, but since they have seen me and how well I am doing and that I am not sickly (that was their concern) they have changed their tune.  I think it helped me being open with people about it, because then that way I have more support.  I also agree w/Michelle that it helps educate and show others who think negatively the positive side of WLS.  I think it is great that you are being so mindful about preparing for your surgery it will help you in leaps and bounds!

Hi...yes, I have been open about WLS too. I didn't want people to always think bad of this surgery. Seeing how I am doing has helped change many peoples conception of this surgery. I feel great and people see that.  You will hear all kinds of comments.  Some people will become jealous and resentful. Some will be just happy for you and wish you the best. Be happy and don't let others bring you down. Just do as your doctor says and you will succeed. Hugs, connie d

I'm open. I don't wear it on my sleeve, but if someone says something about my weightloss or offers a compliment - I just say "thank you". If they go deeper and want to know more, I'll tell them. Most are supportive, some are curious and have thought about the same. If there has been anyone not supportive they certainly haven't said anything to me. Hang in there - don't let fear get the best of you. The transition is "all things considered" pretty easy, but it's definitely NOT the easy way out. The surgery is the tool. you have to do the work from there.

Okay, I'm one who was NOT open about my surgery - I only told those closest to me, up until my weight loss couldn't be ignored.  I had a very negative reaction from a SIL I told very early on, and it put a pretty bad taste in my mouth.  I was already into my LD before I even told my mom, because I knew she'd be terrified!  But when I DID sit her down to tell her, I made sure she knew about all the research I had done, all the assessments, the insurance approval, that my PCP and Dr. Jones felt I was an excellent candidate, and Rich, the kids and my closest friends were on board with me.  So then she felt reassured, and has been one of my biggest fans since! As for how to handle people post-op?  I didn't really have a canned response - it has been a "case-by-case" situation.  I have had comments and reactions that ran the gammut!  Most positive, a couple just frickin' rude, and I just let my instincts lead me.  For the most part, I think people figured it out.  I mean, one does not spend their entire life obese and then "suddenly", in a relatively short time, drop 100# - unless "that surgery" was involved.  Although to this day, there are a few people who have refused to say a word about it - probably more out of fear of appearing politically incorrect than anything else, but I find it pretty amusing. I am now completely comfortable letting people know that yes, I had WLS, that yes, I feel fabulous, and in a few cases outside of OH, I have been asked to share my journey with people who are interested for themselves OR for a loved one.  They see how well I've done, and want that for themselves - or their spouse - or their adult child...  My husband's (jerk-wad of a) boss even asks about me regularly, because that man is close to 500#.  So if I can help someone find an opportunity?  FANTASTIC!