Surgery Reactions

Greetings Fellow MN folks!

My surgery is in 3 days. I've told a very limited number of people about my decision to do this. My husband has been my supportive rock, and I was hoping my immediate family would follow suite. I'll be 36 in 2 weeks, successful career, great hubby/kids, etc. so it baffles me that my own parents treated me like I'm a complete child when I told them.

Besides basically saying I'm big, but not huge and that I should really be able to control what I put in my mouth and how often I get off the couch, they didn't have a single positive thing to say after I explained all my reasoning about FINALLY taking a serious step towards getting healthy. Even my well educated, professional sister said that obesity is NOT a disease.

Thankfully I have VERY supportive friends (and WONDERFUL OH contacts!) and will have the help I need during and after my surgery on Wednesday... but I have to admit I was pretty crushed that the reaction to this new direction for my life as been so ill-received! Even in church today I chose to tell someone to ask for prayers this week and when I said GASTRIC BYPASS I felt like I was being looked at as having three heads! Sure, I'm a tall girl (5'9") and dress well to hide my 275 lb. body, but so many folks seems to think I don't need or shouldn't have this surgery.

Are people just really uninformed at the benefits and strides that have been made in this area of medicine, or what? Did any of you face similar reactions from people close to you? (I am confident in my choice to move forward, so the reactions have not swayed my well-informed decision!)

Thanks in advance,
Shannon

Hey there sweets,  I think alot of parents are like that.  You are not the only one.  It is something parents think is bad but really isn't, it is a major surgery and parents don't like the fact that their babies (no matter the age) are gonna have surgery no matter what the type......  They will come around trust me.  I wish you all the best on weds, and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs to you
Marsha

Shannon, it comes down to this: You are the one taking this step in an effort to regain the health and life that you must live.  It does not matter what people say or think,  because they are not the ones that are on this very personal journey.  Claim the support you get, cling to it, and know that we all "get it".  When they see the weight come off they may get it, but they may not.  Either way it's your journey.  Many people say things based on assumptions or mis-information.  You on the other hand have done the research so you know better.

Good luck and know we are here for you.


Paul

Shannon:

My Dad was like that before my surgery, but he has been one of my biggest supporters ever since that day.  Your parents and your sister may or may not come around, but your best retort to their comments is to take care of yourself and be successful with your new tool.  Good luck in the days ahead!

RP

Hi Shannon, what a wonderful present you are giving yourself.  I am here to support you.  ((((Hugs))))))  Your family will make up their minds in their good time.  No mater what they decide, we are here for you.  I knew that my family would not be my biggest supporters, they have proved that in the past.  I told those that I knew were going to be positive for me, the rest will find out in good time (mine that is).  You know better than those who send out the negative vibes.  You did the research, have lived in your shoes (and body) and know what you need for optimum health.

Fear causes folks to say things that they did not mean to say.  You do not have 3 heads.  Just one sound mind.  Keep up the faith.  Hugs, Kathy

I think once people see what wonderful results you've had using this tool to create a healthier you...they would have a hard time saying it wasn't the right decision.

I have seen that reaction from a few close friends that I was surprised from. My parents have been very suportive, especially my Father who has also had the lap band so he more than gets it.

You'll do great!

Not everyone is going to understand...it's okay, just move foward with the knowledge that you are doing what is best for you.

Good Luck on Wednesday!

My mom used to always tell me when I was confused or worried about something "Everything will fall into place".  That has truly happened so many times, I now see how right she was.  You made your decision and you are ready to go.  Later, they will see how you life changes for the better.  I remember feeling worried and scared when my brother had the surgery five years ago!  He was right there for me when I had it.  Take care and know many support you.

Shannon...don't let this get you down. Your parents will come around. You are doing what is best for YOU.

We are all here to cheer you on.....you will be a healthier and happier person....then your parents will understand.

We all had certain people in our lives that disagreed with our decissions to have weight loss surgery....most of them now are our best supporters!!

See you on the Losers Bench!!!!!!

Hugs..connie d

As hurtful as their reaction was, take a deep breath and take the high road.  You have done the research, they have not.  Their reaction may have been based on bad information, or simply out of fear for their loved one - you.  You passed the requirements of your bariatric program AND your insurance - that speaks volumes.

Try to put that disappointment on the back burner, and just do your best to work your new tool - once the weight starts falling off you, they won't be able to help but notice.  And whether or not they change their tune, they will not be able to deny visible results. 

Good luck to you!!!!