I'M JUST ME!!!! PLEASE READ!!!

God gave me life. What did I do? I abused it. I ate to much. Sometimes I put drugs in it. I huffed and puffed wearing my lungs and heart to a frazzle. I did not want to listen to anyone. But, yet, I was just ME.

I would never hurt another human being as long as I lived. I'm an Uncle, a son, and a brother. Most of all Iam a friend. Iam just ME.

A few years back I got a wake up call. The Doctors stamped an expiration date on my foot and gave me not more than 2 years to live. DID, I listen? yes but only for a few days.. Then right back doing abuse on myself. THEN, I woke up in the hospital a few months later, with the expiration date removed. I could not talk, move, and had a hard time breathing. I was then told I had 2 days to live, IF THAT. I woke up later and I was being told by a young doctor that He could save my life by putting a trach tube in my throat for breathing. Only thing I could do was blink telling him 2 blinks for NO. Well, my family and friends told them to do it anyways..they did.. it was a tube. no bigger than a straw. but to me having it for 9 years it was a PIPE. A big stove pipe. FOR 9 LONG YEARS. I sat in my room still doing nothing at this point. What could I have done? I could not excerise. I couldnt even hardly walk. Using a wheel chair from time to time. Walker, and cane. WAITING for my expiration date to happen.

My biggest wake up call happend to me about four years ago. God gave me the understanding. That I was his child and I was ME....YES ME....Iam not other person and no other person has a right to abuse me or make my decisions but me. and ME, had to do something. So, I sought a way to lose weight.. I lost 70lbs from the atkins diet but that did not last long. My caregiver abused me, beating me, which he was arrested for. I lost not only a caregiver but what I thought was a best friend. So I fell into a depression of not being wanted or needed any more.

After going through so many times WLS programs seminars. Iam now 185lbs less than what I was a year ago last month. I praise God for helping get my life back....I recently had the honor of going back to work in a local Nursing Home as a Domestic Aide. Now mind you, I was a LVN for many years.. and I had to start from the bottom....Well, it soon ended because I quit a few days ago... I felt like a failure.. But, I know now , that Iam taking on to much at once time. TOO SOON...Iam also taking care of my brother who is going to be having heart surgery in a couple of weeks...I CANNOT get down NOW. not NOW....Ive been so depressed... and I have not been eating right.. Acutally Not much at all... Ive had no appetite....

This morning I got a call from my angel......JAN COOK... and the night before from our friend Renee from Georgia.....After talking to Jan this morning. I raised my hands up in the air and once again gave it all to Jesus....This is to big for me to handle. It took my earthly angel, and prayers, to lift up your spirits again....Jan I thank you so much. I thank you all for the prayers.

This WL Journey has been exciting. But, Now it goes fast too.. AND, I think its all catching up to me finally....To much to take in all at one time......Please what ever you all do.....DO NOT STRAY away from the good Lord....Pray every day....Give him all the praise and the Glory.. Talk to a friend. Dont do to much all at once like I did...It takes time.. Do one day at a time...Let life catch up with you..OK? I love you all... Although I dont know some of the new People here.. I still pray for you, as well as my old friends on here....We, are all in this together. We have to be there for each other. We, all serve the same GOD.....Life up your hands and Praise him where you sit. Give it all to him..........God Bless... Craig Lee