OT:X Post,......I am not complaining!....long

Thanks so much Susie,...you take care of yourself.  I know you have your plate full as well.  I hope that your liquid diet is going OK for you.  I just found out that I have to be in Omaha to the cancer doctor on the 7th so looks like I am going to have a very busy week next week also.  I hope to check in with you then.  I appreciate the prayers so much.
Marylin

Marylin...Sweetie I am so sorry to hear about your mom loosing her home...
Im glad you found out about her not being able to take care of her self well and have stepped in to help her!!!....
As for your brother and SIL....There seems to always be at least one family memeber like that in about every family.....It sounds like it's time for them to learn how to fend for them selves!!!!!
If your wanting to keep your mom with you, maybe instead of buying a home right off and untill you know what you want to do you could check into low rent housing for the two of you....That would make room for the both of you and give you time to look and decide....
My prayers will be with you...I know God will guide you and help you make the best decision you can for you and your mom.....
God Bless you....Luv & Hugs...Tammy~ammy

Thanks you Tammy,...I had thought of that, but that is where I am not sure what will happen.  First is she is medicare and medicaid and so am I.  If we get the insurance money and that is a big if,...don't we have to buy right away or loose are medicare medicaid???  I am thinking if we don't reinvest we will loose it. I am not sure what my options are there.  I was hoping someone would know about that part of it.  Who all is going to have their hand out wanting this and wanting that?  How many are going to be asking for this to be paid for or that to be paid for????   If I call and start asking question am I setting myself up for someone coming along and saying we can't have anything and they take it all???  This is why I need prayers because I have no clue what to do, and what are my options. I want to make the right choices.  I hope this makes sense as you can see I can't sleep,...I am so up set.  Today mom was really tired too,..she was so confused. She had such a hard time.  I am hoping that me making sure she has a better choice of food will help with some of her mind confusion.  She won't remember what she said today at all. 
I thank you for your blessings and I know it is going to work out. 
Marylin

Marylin

Honey I am so sorry to hear about your Mom and her house.  Praise be to God that she got out alive.  I work for CMAAA, Central Missouri Area Agency on Aging.  Pettis county is not in our Central MO area but there are agencies in your area that are there to help you and your Mom.  First, Red Cross.  They can take over and get everyone settled.  Then contact your area agency on aging.  They have disaster relief resources and are more than willing to help.  They may also be able to get your mother the help she needs to take care of herself, and at the least provide some respite for you.   Don't hesitate to call.  Seriously, that's what we are here for.  The only criteria is that they be at least 60 years old. There is also benevolance services.  Call churches, food pantries, shelters.  They all have resources that could help.  If you need more info you have my phone number.  Call me and I will help you figure out who to call.  I will keep you all in my prayers and again I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.

BIG HUGS,

Marilyn ,

I am sorry to hear about your mothers home and all the heart aches believe me I know what you are going thur we just went thur this with my husbans mother and her daughter nither one of her daughters help us do anything with her but they are sure there when it   comes pay day .   We was helping her out and paying her rent and buying her gas for car ect  but she just kept letting her daughter take more and more advange of her and money that we stop guving her any money { we did keep paying her rent we felt like we should do that much } so it came to point she had to do something so she put herself into Assisted living in Tuscumbia Mo .  It is really nice place they don't have to worry about anything except are there kids going to come see them or not we was so glad she done that on her on we told her she could stay with us but she decided to do this instead which I think was really good of her .

But as far as making a rash decision rite now I think if I was you i would just sit back take a little time and see what happens before I would make any moves or decisions.   We seem to make the wrong decission if we jump rite into them if we just give purselves and others alittle time then things seem to work out a little better and then you won't get yourself into a mess either  you don't want to do that . 

You hang in  there wait upon the Lord he shall renew your strenght and he will guide and direct you if you will let him just take some time don't ru**** ..

Love Ya Karen

You are so right and I know my mind will clear and everything will be there before me,....I just don't have room for the stuff if we want to keep what is save able. I don't have a bed put up for me to sleep in,..a friend dropped me off a mattress and box spring but I haven't got it put up yet,...I have started the wash of all the smokey clothes that my kids have dug out....I may still be washing next week.  My mom doesn't drive we,..I didn't keep up her old car up for her anymore because she let them all use it.  She had talked to my daughter about going to a nursing home but she isn't that bad as long as someone is around and reminds her of what she needs to do. I know there is times she thought she as eaten and she hadn't.  I am not ready to give up yet,.on her.  I had giving up on my brother a long time ago,....Don't get me wrong I love my brother, I know he is only trying to keep his wife happy,...and he is dying there's no getting around that.  I am just not going to do anything to help them anymore.  I am so sorry that it has come to this but I am so done. After 30yrs of this kind of stuff going on and there is so much that I will never be able to remember all the crap that has been dished out by her and her kids that if I wrote a book it would cover more then 3/4 of the chapters. 
I will shut up and go to bed now,....or to the chair anyway.  Thanks for the insight and I am just in a hurry to get on with my life,...I am planning surgery and I would like to have this out of my way before I do that,...
I am hoping tomorrow will be a better day for her.
Thanks for your prayers and I will keep what you said in mind. 
Marylin

Oh! Lynette,....I was going to call the department of aging today but just ran out of time and mind.  I will try and get that taken care of tomorrow.  Red Cross I went there this morning,...they are going to help my brother and his wife get into a place and help with there deposits and stuff.  They said that they would only help as a whole family they couldn't help us too.  I tried to talk to mom about that and we decided that we can get by in my very small house till we know what's going to happen.  We asked RC to help them.  I called all the utilities services today and canceled all the services at moms and put passwords on those that I could and the water company said they couldn't do anything that if someone comes with a picture id that they would turn it on.  So I told them my mom will never need service again and if someone tries to turn it on that they have stolen ID.  My mom is 83 my SIL is 70,...so they can't turn anything on in my moms name.  I don't know all the bills out there in her name,....I had her mail changed to my house about a month ago,....that's how I found out that most of the bills hadn't been paid. 
As far as asking for help I don't have room to get things we will need until after we get another house,...So I haven't asked for anything but prayers,...Oh the RC gave them some money for clothes and food today and they did divide that up for my mom and my daughter that was living there.  We don't need the food as of yet.  I am fine with that I had went yesterday and bought stuff with my oldest girl and she had gotten my mom under clothes and stuff for her to clean herself up with.  My list for tomorrow is finding something we can get her in the shower with and to set on to get in the tub.  I put a chair in the bathroom to use for her to get up off pot with.  She got stuck on it about 4 months ago when I had taken her to the doctors and we stopped at my house for potty break,....I thought I was going to have to call the firemen that day to get her off my pot,....So we both knew she wasn't going to be able to do that,...but she has been doing well with the chair in there.  Amazing what you can do when you have to.  She did get her hair washed while I was out today but wasn't able to stand the curlers I have.  She has a growth on the back of her head the size of a baseball,...calcium deposit is what they say but she has arthritis so bad in the neck and back she can't stand to hold her neck up to have hair done anymore.  I am hoping DofA will give me idea of what do to to make my mom feel better about herself.  I feel so bad that I didn't step in sooner.  I was just trying to do what she wanted and she wouldn't throw them out.  I really know things have to get better from now on. I will try and give you a call tomorrow,...my list is growing. Thanks so much for your input and I feel better already.
I better try and finish here and get some sleep.
Marylin