am i wrong?

Hi Kathleen,

First, happy birthday.  I hope you have a happy one.

I feel your frustration and hope your Mom understands how you feel, and comes around.

My mother never cooked, so when I grew up we had Swanson's TV dinners....lol

I think the birthday tradition that your Mom carries is wonderful and sweet, and you should feel very lucky.

When I grew up and was on a diet, I had  a similar problem with my grandmom, always trying to shove the wrong foods at me, so I can relate.  But in hindsight, my grandmother did it out of love.

Give your mom some time, and hopefully you will get through to her.

You know the old saying, Mom's will be moms.

Enjoy your birthday!!!
:-)

you're definitely not wrong.  we feel your pain here, believe me.  on my first birthday after surgery, i had a sugar free cake, which was delicious, but then i ended up feeling sick from the sugar alcohols in the cake.  sometimes we just can't win.  have your pie and know with every bite, you're staying on the loser's bench!

Interesting responses. I can`t help think that everybody needs to be aware and compensate for me attitude is how many people got to the point where we need WLS. Your problem and journey belongs to you, you own it. The difference between an alcoholic, drug abuser and even a smoker and us if we will always need to eat and be around all types of food every day. Those others can completely eliminate their exposure to their poisons.
I had a birthday in July and I wouldn`t dream of expecting my family or grandkids to not have their sweets. How selfish would that have been. My WLS was just before Thanksgiving, should the family have had pureed dinner so I could fit in?
What do you do for a living? Heck most places of business I go in have more junk foods, sweets and candies around then a candy store. Should they stop because one person has an issue.
Somehow I don`t get the reinforcing of the whiny everybody needs to adapt for me attitude.

I understand what you're saying and I don't think any of us expect others to eat the way we do, but I believe you missed the point - it wasn't that Kathleen expected others to give up what they normally eat - she was perfectly content eating meatballs and foregoing the pasta which she knew she couldn't have but wanted other to be able to enjoy. 

It was the fact that her mother made Kathleen's FAVORITE old dessert that she could no longer have - had she made another choice in cake or whatever I doubt it would have bothered Kathleen but sorry, I do feel it was insensitive of her mother to make something she knew Kathleen loved but could no longer have, especially on her birthday.

I`m under the impression that the desert she asked for was there even if she made it. So in essence she didn`t go without.
My fav is chocolate cake with butter-cream icing. It was there for my birthday because it is also my families fav. No big deal I had about a 1/2 tablespoon of it. life goes on.

At 9 weeks out, 1/2 tbs and life goes on isn't quite my take on things.
I certainly would never expect the world to change around my eating patterns, but on my bday, I thought they could enjoy the sf cake with me.
Bipolar-  not quite!   Interesting secular opinon though!

Flaming?  No.  But a difference of opinion.

I have absolutely no desire for ANYONE to change their daily behaviors, eating patterns, party planning around my needs.  I have an insulated bag that I carry with me EVERYWHERE stocked with things I can have should I need something.

I have to agree with Kathy, though.  This was about KATHLEENS day.  It would be totally different if it was just a family gathering and mom made the cake for the family gathering.  True...she had her sf pie and therefore "didn't go without" and that's a good thing.

The only thing I can chalk it up to is this...my husband HATES strip clubs.  Always has, always will.  For his bachelors party his boys took him to a strip club.  WTF?  "because that's what guys do" was the answer we both got.  To top it off...my husbands friends got pissed at him because he sat at the juice bar all night talking philosophy with the bar tender. 

That day was supposed to celebrate my HUSBAND not "guys" and this dinner was supposed to celebrate Kathleen, NOT the kids or anybody else for that matter.

And to your previous question, yes, hormones are released during rapid weight loss.  Estrogen is stored in fat and therefore in women AND MEN post op emotions can run rampandt.  Be careful about the whole comparison to mental health patients though...switching emotions frequently is far from being "bipolar".  It is wise to educate yourself on A) post op metabolic changes and B) other references.

Pam

Actually I`ve had business dealing with an individual that is Bipolar and had a tough time regulating his  meds. The hormone thing I understand from PMS to women going through menopause. It never hit me after WLS so I was fortunate.
I guess what it comes down to is I`m a consecrative redneck and I take complete responsibility for my emotions. I don`t look to others for validation, comfort or to enhance my self confidence. I speak my mind in some cases and in others I just do my thing. I`ve been in her situation and it didn`t bother me. I did stay home from a retirement dinner for an acquaintance because I refused to pay 60 bucks for a buffet that I wouldn`t eat. That was a fiscal decision.