Divorce-Surgery-Reaching out more

Hi All,

I know I'm not on here all the time, but when I am, it always helps...........

I don't have a surgery date scheduled yet, work in progress, nutritional eval 9/29....

Once I am approved, hopefully right after my nutritional eval, do I have a choice of the surgery date?

I have been getting really emotional lately, which I know is definately normal, but with everything that is going on with this divorce crap, how do I know what kind of hormonal changes I am in for and how this will effect me?

I am definately doing the surgery for me. I am just curious if anyone was in the same situation as myself - freshly separated, months prior to surgery?

Talking about a lonely feeling...........

You will probably get a call with a surgery date but if it doesn't work for you they will work with you for something that does.

The hormonal roller coaster is an experience that's for sure! Think MEGA PMS. We've all been through it and survived! lol

No advice on the separation thing - but like you said you are doing this for yourself and all of these trials will make you stronger in the end.

Liz

It's hard to sort out the "why" of certain emotions with a divorce going on and impending surgery...talk about stress! I was divorced 10 years ago, but remember the raw feeling of that time.

Let's hope that your approval is smooth sailing, then you can deal with the calendar. As for the emotions after surgery, my psychologist gave me a valuable heads up - that 3 or 4 months after surgery, our bodies realize that there is less of us, and have to go through a hormonal adjustment of sorts. So...at that point, we may experience some symptoms of depression or other emotional whammys. If it happens, get some help!

Otherwise...the post surgery experinece has been very positive for me. It feels good to feel good!
Do you have a good support system for the emotions right now?

Hi there.

You are definately going to go through a ton of emotions. You have 2 major life changes going on at the same time.

I was not separated prior to surgery but was in a bad marriage and had ZERO support from him. So I didn't have anyone to rely on. I didn't even have this board back then. I just used my determination to be healthy and happy to guide me through. I did end up going to my PCP for some meds to help me through the tough parts.

As far as surgery dates, they will probably assign you the soonest one they have available, but if that doesn't work, you can always put it off a week or whatever. Just remember that you can't always specifically pick your day of the week, etc. Surgeons have set days they perform surgery, and set days they see office patients. For instance, my surgeon only performed surgeries on thurday and Fridays, and the other days, he was in the office.

Good Luck to you. I know this time is trying and tough. But God never gives us more than we can handle. So take this opportunity to show yourself and others how strong you really are and you will work through it.

I know it seems impossible but TRUST me, you will look back and realize that 2009 was a positive changing point in your life. (For the better!)

Once you get approval you will probably get a call from your surgeon about a date.  They will probably already have one "in mind" for you - but hopefully your surgeon should be flexible on dates if need be.  In all honesty - if they weren't - I would be concerned.

The emotional portion of it - well - after surgery it can get pretty ugly.  Head hunger...having to DEAL with emotions as opposed to eating through them....not to mention the release of estrogen as fat breaks down (that's where estrogen is stored) can take it's toll on a person.

But...you get through it...one minute at a time if needed.  And we're here for when you need us!

Good luck!

Pam

No good words of advice on the separation thing - hormones will drive you crazy, tho. The doctor will probably decide your surgery date once you've had all of your evals, etc. The whole process is very stressful and emotional - I think the day they called with my surgery date was my most emotional day of all.

Just remember this, as long as we're all out here you're never alone and please don't feel lonely - I know its not the same as being right there with you, but we are always here to help and support you along the way. There isn't a person out here who isn't dealing with some other emotional or family issue that hasn't come out here at some time for support - I know I have.

Take care - come here often...especially if you're feeling lonely - we may be able to help.

Hi!  I went through a very similar experience. 
I left my husband a month prior to starting my weight loss surgery journey (a month prior to my first information session meeting).   I know what you mean about a lot of emotions at once.   
Going through the seperation and divorce was a major life change and adding weight loss surgery and totally changing your relationship with food for life is huge.

I went to see a therapist for support during all this time.   I have lots of friends and family available to me, but the therapist was definitely the way to go.    I would definitely highly recommend it considering all the stressors you are facing at once.

I am 4 months post op LAP RNY,   2 months post divorce, and everything has worked out great for me so far!!       I am looking at it as a chance to start over with a healthy life and healthy relationships and time to weed out all the negativity in my life. 

Best of luck and feel free to send me a message anytime!!!
Kathleen 

Thank you everyone for your support and comments.

Dianna