So! So! Sad and disappointed!(long)

Your feelings are your feelings dont retract them. You said you knew it was your responsibility to reach out. It is overwhelming for sure. I do not go to those meetings but have found everyone here and at Liz support group to be so open and helpful, They are my family. Hang in there

Julie, wanted to let you know I felt EXACTLY how you felt my first BARIX meeting.  I thought it was because I didn't actually have my surgery at BARIX and most (not all) had their's there and that formed a commadarie.  I actually went up and introduced myself to someone from the boards during that first meeting and felt I actually got the brush off.  Not the welcoming I had hoped for.  I attended one Wednesday meeting and one Saturday, but I haven't been back to the BARIX meeting and I live about 2 miles from there. 

I did attend Liz's cooking class which is about a 40 mile hike for me--- first in August and then in October.  It was hard for me to put myself out there but from the boards I thought it would be ok at Liz's---afterall she's such a sweetheart.  I brought my husband and when it appeared we were the first one's there, I sent him up to the door to make sure it was the right place that's how nervous I was.  The cooking class was wonderful.  Met quite a few of the folks who are on this board which actually made me feel more comfortable about participating more on the board.  I don't know whether I'll go back to the BARIX support meetings but I do know I'll continue to participate on the boards and attend Liz's whenever I can (right now looks like every other month, I'll miss this month -- boo hoo)

Best of luck to you.  Hope to see you at Liz's.  You are also welcome to let me know the next time you are going to go to a BARIX meeting, I would be happy to meet you there.   Maybe if we go in together it won't be as overwhelming.

Lisa Mc

Hi Lisa,
If you ever decide to come back to a Barix meeting let me know. I'd love to meet you.

Ida

Julie absolutely please come on back and give us another chance.  Make yourself one of us everyone is welcome to the meetings.  I can remember when I first walked in and I was scared stiff!  Though you'd never know it now.  Kidding.  Also of us "meet" on these boards and alot of us meet at the meetings and there are so many people who don't know about the OH boards or meetings its word of mouth.  Don't laugh but I identify myself as Linda the one with the palimino horse on the OH board because Cassidy -aka my heart is on my avatar as you can see.  Please let us welcome and get to know you and don't let Norm scare you he is really a great guy very straight forward and informative (still a pain in the tush) kidding and his wife Mary is terriffic too.  And nothing is sacred to discuss.  Personal issues such as weight, addictions, sex and boobs as Dennis blushes when we discuss them (he does) we try to cover everything and usually everyone gets to speak and we also have one of our NUTS who sells the proteins and vitamins and protein bars and such there to answer any questions you may have and be able to purchase and have a clothing collection sometimes and someone may bring in a container of protein and ect. that they didn't like and someone else may want it so we really are an open group just give us a chance. And you should get to know what we refere to as the "mean girls" they are such a supportive group too and "mean" is just a figure of speech trust me on that.  They are just so supportive and enjoy being there for everyone. 

Hi Julie,
I also attended my first Wed night meeting this week. My husband and I usually attend the Saturday meeting, but he sees clients on Wed nights so can't accompany me.

I also am an out of towner. I was born here in Philly but moved to NJ and grew up there. I moved back here in 2003 when I met Gene (my husband). If I'd have known you were coming I would have gladly sat with you during the meeting. Hopefully you will come out again to the Wed night let me know and I'll meet you and sit with you, if you'd like.

I did not have my surgery at Barix I had mine at Temple because of medical problems leading up to the surgery, however this group welcomed me into their folds almost 4 years ago when my hubby had his surgery. They have all been a great support system for me both with my hubby's surgery, and supported me throughout my post op portion and were my cheerleaders when my first surgeon told me I couldn't have surgery. They lite a fire under my butt for me to fight back and find another surgeon.

If you'd like let me know when you will be at a meeting and I would love to hang out with you.

Ida

Julie

I think that you made a very positive step by expressing your feelings on this board.  I don't know if I would have been able to do that.  As everyone else said, come back and give it another try.  There are many many wonderful people who attend the meetings.  Of course there are groups of people who have made strong bonds and as a result are best friends who hang out together often.  It's not any different than any other group of people.  Some people form close friendships with a smaller group.  With that being said, I can honestly say that I feel the people I have met are some of the finest caring people I have met in my life. (And I am one of the oldest of those who attend Barix- so I have many experiences with many types of groups and people)   

Give us another try.  I really do look forward to meeting you. 

Arlene 

Thank you , Thank you, Thank you! to everyone! I'm feeling so much better! I do believe that everyone has convinced me to give it another go! I'll try not to be over sensitive and let members know that I going to the next meeting. I'm now looking forward to meeting people even more! As for the people close by who have offered to do things I'll be calling soon!:) Many hugs xxxxxx!

Julie

Hi Julie -

There's support right in your neighborhood and I'm happy to help.

I live in Limerick and work part time in Collegeville, so I'm really close to you.  Julia (from Phoenixville) and I were talking about driving down together to Barix for the January meeting.  You are most definitely welcome to join us for the ride. 

Also, if you have any interest in meeting for coffee sometime, I'm always up for getting out.  I love the Collegeville Diner.  And -  my best friend had WLS in April at Barix and she lives right in Collegeville.  Maybe we could all meet up. 

Please PM me if you are interested and we can work something out. 

Lisa
: )

Julie,
I had my surgery at Barix and I have felt like the outsider too.  So, I do know how you feel.  Thing is, everyone on this PA board is so supportive and helpful - all in different ways.  I think I felt more like an outsider because I was far away and barely ever made it to a meeting and I am a lapbander so I can't always relate to rny.  However, in smaller groups (which I am soooo much better at) I have gotten to know and love this PA group.  You won't find a better group of people.  Do yourself a favor and give it another shot!
Beth

Hi julie - After reading everyone's post - I felt that I needed to jump in....I am one of the fortunate ones who even at my heaviest, I was never shy...(Stop laughing to those that know me!)  However, at my first meeting, which was a Wednesday night two weeks prior to my surgery, I was a bit overwhelmed.  And believe me, that does NOT happen often to me whe I am with a roomful of people.  I remember looking around and thinking, wow - some of these people are really skinny - what are they doing here?  And then the meetng started and Dennis was leading.  i basically just sat and listened.  I know me and know that fortunately, I am NOT shy and knew that if I put myself out there - it would be a place of support and love.  five days after my surgery I went to the first saturday meeting nd the groups broke down into much smaller gropus and then I was able to really talk to people about what I was going through at the time.  It was much easier to handle.  Being on here daily has also made a HUGE diference - I have been talking to people who "get it"  They share in my joys and my triumphs and allow me to vent when I am frustrated about ANYTHING.  The food related items are the life savers however, I love that I can see what others are dealing with and how they handled certain things.  I always count myself VERY lucky to have been able to attack my demons and addictions with surgery first, and knwo that it will NOT work without working the tool - and the people here are so full of wisdom and wonderful advise.  

I am sooooo glad that you are on here - it is such an important part of this journey.  I get to most Wednesday meetings and most Saturday ones as well, so long as my crazy children can find other things to do.  Before the next meeting, be sure to let us know if you will be there and you will find that you will be bombarded with hugs, smiles and conversations...Hey - you might even be sorry that you told us about it! :)  HAHA!

I am soooo looking forward to meeting you the next time we are at Barix together! :)  Keep smiling and keep successing!

Steffi :)