Women Food and God Book Group - Introduction: The World on Our Plates
Introduction: "The World on Our Plates"
In her introduction, Geneen Roth summarizes key events from one of her retreats (although I'm sure this is a composite of several retreats), as well as the philosophy behind those retreats. A few key points that jumped out at me:
Roth talks about our "relationship with food". She says that her relationship with food became the lens through which she began to see almost everything. Shye says that our relationship with food has amazing power and implications for our lives.
How would you define your own relationship with food pre WLS?
How about now?
From pg. 8 - the passage about Laurie made me wonder: Was my obesity rooted in anger? In sadness? in pain? A little of all three?
Another key concept from the introduction is the insight, "I AM NOT BROKEN." Can you make that statement? Honestly? Did you receive messages from others that you were a "broken" person because you were obese? Did you say those words, or similar words, to yourself?
And finally, Roth points out that compulsive eating "was a doorway into a blazing inner universe." We have our own view of reality...our own relationship with God...our own early experiences. She encourages us to discover what we really believe, what we value. You may want to post this - or keep it personal as part of your journal - but think about what your view of the world is? Is the world a kind place or a hostile place? A place of abundance or a place where there is never enough? It can be challenging to list our own values, but give it a try!
In her introduction, Geneen Roth summarizes key events from one of her retreats (although I'm sure this is a composite of several retreats), as well as the philosophy behind those retreats. A few key points that jumped out at me:
Roth talks about our "relationship with food". She says that her relationship with food became the lens through which she began to see almost everything. Shye says that our relationship with food has amazing power and implications for our lives.
How would you define your own relationship with food pre WLS?
How about now?
From pg. 8 - the passage about Laurie made me wonder: Was my obesity rooted in anger? In sadness? in pain? A little of all three?
Another key concept from the introduction is the insight, "I AM NOT BROKEN." Can you make that statement? Honestly? Did you receive messages from others that you were a "broken" person because you were obese? Did you say those words, or similar words, to yourself?
And finally, Roth points out that compulsive eating "was a doorway into a blazing inner universe." We have our own view of reality...our own relationship with God...our own early experiences. She encourages us to discover what we really believe, what we value. You may want to post this - or keep it personal as part of your journal - but think about what your view of the world is? Is the world a kind place or a hostile place? A place of abundance or a place where there is never enough? It can be challenging to list our own values, but give it a try!
I'll try to keep my own reactions/responses separate from the "kickoff" posts! The truth is, I thought I could lump the intro and first chapter or two together...they're short, after all...but wow! Almost every LINE has a major premise and concept to mull over.
The "relationship with food" for me is an interesting notion. One sentence on pg. 4 resonated with me. The participant said, "I am not hungry, but I want to be. I want to eat anyway." I can relate to this SO strongly! Eating was something to do...something to fill time...something to soothe stress...something to bring comfort...something that brought pleasure. It had nothing to do with hunger or the physical need to eat. Food filled a lot of needs for me that had nothing to do with nutrition or physical needs. I am not sure I always did this - but I know at times, food took the place of friendship or other relationships.
Post WLS - my relationship with food is much more secondary.We just had a weekend away, and even though it was a holiday, there were times and meals where I truly didn't much care about what I ate (as long as it met my nutritional needs). No eating out of boredom. No eating to replace or enhance social activities. Eating was just...food. I never knew it could be that way.
I don't know the whole story of the causes of my obesity. I was a big baby, for sure (10 lbs.) My mom sent a LOT of negative messages as I grew up, about being overweight. As young as 5, I knew that I was heavier than the other kids. I was the slowest, the least coordinated. Mom took me to a doctor for diet pills at age 8 (but forbade me to tell my dad.) My first foray into weigh****chers came at age 12 or 13. By age 14, my weight was less of an issue (daily PE had something to do with it I guess), but my boyfriend commented that I was "flabby." By age 20, I had gained another 25 lbs., and started an adulthood of yo yo dieting in earnest. Little did I know back at age 20 that my weight would almost double at my peak weight last year.
Other contributors to my obesity had to do with relationships (very negative family issues for one, and an adolescence with few friends). Since I turned to food for those things, I guess I turned to food for comfort in times of stress of almost any kind. My last big weight gain was after entering a new marriage, moving 500 miles, and starting a new job. The marriage has been good...the move very successful...the job, not so much! Since 2002, I gained 40 more pounds, leading to my decision to have surgery.
This is pretty long already, so I will save my thoughts on my values and my view of the world...
But will look forward to your thoughts!
The "relationship with food" for me is an interesting notion. One sentence on pg. 4 resonated with me. The participant said, "I am not hungry, but I want to be. I want to eat anyway." I can relate to this SO strongly! Eating was something to do...something to fill time...something to soothe stress...something to bring comfort...something that brought pleasure. It had nothing to do with hunger or the physical need to eat. Food filled a lot of needs for me that had nothing to do with nutrition or physical needs. I am not sure I always did this - but I know at times, food took the place of friendship or other relationships.
Post WLS - my relationship with food is much more secondary.We just had a weekend away, and even though it was a holiday, there were times and meals where I truly didn't much care about what I ate (as long as it met my nutritional needs). No eating out of boredom. No eating to replace or enhance social activities. Eating was just...food. I never knew it could be that way.
I don't know the whole story of the causes of my obesity. I was a big baby, for sure (10 lbs.) My mom sent a LOT of negative messages as I grew up, about being overweight. As young as 5, I knew that I was heavier than the other kids. I was the slowest, the least coordinated. Mom took me to a doctor for diet pills at age 8 (but forbade me to tell my dad.) My first foray into weigh****chers came at age 12 or 13. By age 14, my weight was less of an issue (daily PE had something to do with it I guess), but my boyfriend commented that I was "flabby." By age 20, I had gained another 25 lbs., and started an adulthood of yo yo dieting in earnest. Little did I know back at age 20 that my weight would almost double at my peak weight last year.
Other contributors to my obesity had to do with relationships (very negative family issues for one, and an adolescence with few friends). Since I turned to food for those things, I guess I turned to food for comfort in times of stress of almost any kind. My last big weight gain was after entering a new marriage, moving 500 miles, and starting a new job. The marriage has been good...the move very successful...the job, not so much! Since 2002, I gained 40 more pounds, leading to my decision to have surgery.
This is pretty long already, so I will save my thoughts on my values and my view of the world...
But will look forward to your thoughts!
maybe i am broken probably even delusional. as i read the intro i kept thinking how sad/ those poor people don't they realize they have a value to this world? I couldn't relate to anyone talked about. I had to think hard and try to figure which example i was like. the answer was none mentioned. i grew up poor ,cake,soda and ice cream were only for celebration like birthdays.now that I am older i just went overboard. i see a tasty cake and think hey i did a load of laundry i deserve that. go to the market and see a cake and think ,i was nice today i deserve this. i guess i feel unloved and unappreciated and reward myself with food. the big problem is i also never felt full so i would eat half a cake or more than one serving of whatever i could get. the question is now how to reward myself without food? how do you feel loved when you have no self esteem? how do I become unbroken is there emotional superglue? hopefully by the end of the book i will know how to fix myself.
Cheryl, I didn't like the people at first either, then I looked past their stories and more deeply at the points Roth was making...and started to look at those in a personal way, which it looks like you did too.
It will be interesting to follow the path out of the "broken" thinking. Or is it a shift in thinking from "I am broken" to "I am whole, regardless of what the scale says." I am not sure I believe that about myself, though.
It will be interesting to follow the path out of the "broken" thinking. Or is it a shift in thinking from "I am broken" to "I am whole, regardless of what the scale says." I am not sure I believe that about myself, though.
My relationship with food is probably rooted from birth. Complicated and wonderful, and all consuming. I was a premature baby, so food was something pushed on me, and something that caused pain. I was also a colicky baby and allergic to most formulas. I can recall being 3 yo or 4 sneaking into the kitchen at night to make mustard sandwiches. Why i could not tell you. But I think i have gotten the message early on that " I am broken" " i am a problem that needs to be dealt with" I think as a child I used food to nurture and soothe me, then to protect me, and Now pre WLS definately to do all those but I think mainly to " hurt myself"
My relationship with food now unfortunately has become very much the same before WLS. It is a soother, and more importantly a weapon. I am broken, I do not deserve good things, so I am using the food to act out.
I have underlined almost every single sentence in this chapter. So much speaks to me. The qoutes. the stories everything.
My view of the world is one of hostility, and that it is not safe. A place where there is never enough and if I do get any of it? I Dont deserve it. I am not worth it. I should not have it. If this is truly what the voice is saying to me....WHY WOULD I DO ANYTHING LOVING FOR MYSELF?
My relationship with food now unfortunately has become very much the same before WLS. It is a soother, and more importantly a weapon. I am broken, I do not deserve good things, so I am using the food to act out.
I have underlined almost every single sentence in this chapter. So much speaks to me. The qoutes. the stories everything.
My view of the world is one of hostility, and that it is not safe. A place where there is never enough and if I do get any of it? I Dont deserve it. I am not worth it. I should not have it. If this is truly what the voice is saying to me....WHY WOULD I DO ANYTHING LOVING FOR MYSELF?
Nicole, I know what you mean about every single sentence....and this was just the intro!
I was going to talk about sneaking food next week, but since you brought up the mustard sandwiches...my mom taught us early that food was the enemy. She rarely made a dessert but on the rare times when we had ice cream or another treat in the house, my brother, sister, and I would binge together. The thing was, this meant I was binging by age 5. By 11, I was hiding food in my bedroom and spending my precious allowance on candy to hide rather than whatever the other kids were buying at that age.
The concept of 'deserving' good things in the world, or in life, is something I dealt with in therapy when I was going through a divorce. The therapist asked me what I felt I deserved in my marriage. I couldn't answer the question. Not a single thing came to mind. I want to journal about this now...through today's lens. I think I can say that I deserve a rich life...friends...enjoyment....to be nurtured. The stumbling point for me rig now is work. Do I deserve to have a job that I enjoy or even love? One that taps my talents and skills in a stimulating way? Another topic for more reflection, and interesting to frame in this context of what I deserve...
I was going to talk about sneaking food next week, but since you brought up the mustard sandwiches...my mom taught us early that food was the enemy. She rarely made a dessert but on the rare times when we had ice cream or another treat in the house, my brother, sister, and I would binge together. The thing was, this meant I was binging by age 5. By 11, I was hiding food in my bedroom and spending my precious allowance on candy to hide rather than whatever the other kids were buying at that age.
The concept of 'deserving' good things in the world, or in life, is something I dealt with in therapy when I was going through a divorce. The therapist asked me what I felt I deserved in my marriage. I couldn't answer the question. Not a single thing came to mind. I want to journal about this now...through today's lens. I think I can say that I deserve a rich life...friends...enjoyment....to be nurtured. The stumbling point for me rig now is work. Do I deserve to have a job that I enjoy or even love? One that taps my talents and skills in a stimulating way? Another topic for more reflection, and interesting to frame in this context of what I deserve...
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