OT-Feeling Blue..

Kathy,
Thank you for the hugs and prayers. It really helps having everyone's support.

I have very few words of advice that you haven't already been given.  There are options out there for respite care etc, and/or have people come into the house to help.  I know you may not want to see her in a facility, but perhaps while they are reworking her medications, it might be the best place for her.  It could start with something like an emergency room evaluation for "altered mental status"...your father, sister, or you, could take her to the emergency department and tell them what's going on, that you cannot manage her safely at home during this time, etc.  Might be worth looking into.

We've dealt with my brothers mental illness, and also my MIL mental illness...and it's very tolling on the family.  Please know that you have a lot of support here, that you can vent anytime you need, and that we're with you in spirit every step of the way.

[email protected] is my email address - feel free to use it for any questions, concerns, or just another venting session.

Love you, stay strong,

Pam

Pam,
Thank you for you support and prayers. We did that with my mother last fall in her lucid state she told my sister and me that we locked her up in a looney bin. Mom spent 4 days at Friend's Hospital in North East Philadelphia. It's a good facility and her dosage was set by a phychiatrist there and she was doing well it's just that the doctor told my father recently that since my mom has gained about 30lbs since last year mostly from meds that he could start weaning her off the drugs. My dad did this on his own mind you without consulting my sister who by the way is a practicing pharmacist. I am trying to hang on but it's so emotional you know when it's you parents...

Yes, when it's family, it's very difficult to deal with.

And although your mom in her lucid state made you guys feel bad and felt she was in a "looney place" sometimes it's what is best for her.  The recent issues with my brother - he didn't want to go either - but he was not able to make those decisions, no matter what he thought was rational or the right thing to do at the time.  As family members, no matter how hurtful the words that they say are, we MUST continue to do what is right for them and for the family as well.

Shilpa, 
 
    It is never easy to watch our parents decline in health. Yet during this time what most of us forget is to take care of our own well being because if we are not well we can not take care of those who needs us. Do what you can for your family but if you are tired take a night to get rest and be with your own family. It is not selfish to do so yet also try to keep up on what is going on with your Mom's progress. 


   My stepmom was teh sole providere for years when my Dad's health declined by the end she was burned out and losing it herself. I fianlly took over when she would not let me before and I got details and such it eased her burden to share it with me. We both learned to take times for ourselves as my Dad got sicker. During that time I did lots of personal journaling and that is what would sooth my soul because it was hard for me because my father and I didn't have the best relationship.

  Put everything in the hands of a higher being and ask for strength. You have angels here waiting for you if you fall.

Love you! 

Thanks Beth! I am crying as I am reading you post. I think what is hardest is that my mom who was the strongest woman I ever know is now battling this mental disease. I feel so bad for her and I think my sister is the one who is getting burned because she has always been the one who has been the go to person for my parents since she only works part-time but she herself has 2 kids under the age of 5. It's tough all the way around. I appreciate your support and advise and will pass this along to my sister. Thanks again for your prayers and hugs.

Shilpa,
I grew up with my mother's bipolar disorder, and my aunt's schizophrenia, then my brother was hospitalized in high school for psychosis.  Now, I have bipolar disorder and was hospitalzed in January.

It is painful and scary to watch a family member be unstable.  Your feelings are totally understandable.  Crying and praying are very common for me.  It is a natural feeling anymore.

Hang in there.  You might want to call Mom's doc to discuss her symptoms.  He may not be able to share much with you, but you can talk to him to report your concerns and ask if she might be more comfortable inpatient.

Trish

Trish,
Thank you for sharing your personal experience. I know how much you have on your plate and am truly amazed at how well you are handling everything. It can't be easy. I did speak to her doctor and he told me that since he has changed my mother's meds again we should see stabilization within the next 3 weeks. I spoke to my mom this morning and she told me that she is sleepy and feels lethargic I told her to not skip her meds and hopefully the drowsiness will subside eventually.

Dear Shilpa - my heart definitely goes out to you! My husband has a mentally ill mom, and sister. It is excrutiatingly painful at times to see them in their conditions and exhausting to deal with them. We have a hard time figuring out what our responsibilities to them are - it is impossible to get them medical help as they both feel there is nothing wrong with them - it's all us conspiring against them. When events escalate to the point where we can call the authorities it's a few days of evaluation and then back to the old same old. At least you have a doctor involved and medication, even though it's not working that great - I hope soon you can figure out with all your loved ones the best course of action to take. Big hug to you.

Cindy

Cindy,
Thank you so much for your kind words and sharing your own personal experiences. It helps to know that I am not the only one dealing with this and I will send up prayers for your family as well.