OK support group. I am coming to you to discuss something that has weighed on my mind lately. I do this simply because (a) you are my support system and I need accountability and (b) because someone else might need to hear it and (c) because I worry that keeping it to myself is the breeding grounds for denial. Whether this is true I have no clue...
Several things going on lately.
1. Hormone issues - irregular periods, birth control methods for the regulation of those hormones and periods which cause side effects
2. I have added some foods back to my diet such as Fiber One cereal and double fiber bread. This has helped my irregularity a lot!
3. My body seems to be shifting in where the loose skin is/was. Its defying gravity so to speak.
4. My appetite and ability to eat just a tad more food has come back. I think in part, from where I had the gallbladder surgery, it postponed my tummy from stretching or being able to accommodate the food that it SHOULD have at this time period after wls. I relied heavily on shakes for protein. Now I am finding I can get more solid proteins from food, which is good. I will miss my shakes though! I love them.
After saying all of that, I have gained 6 lbs. I went from 118 to 124 (today 123.7). This scares me. Some of my pants don't fit good. But, I feel great! I think I had gotten too skinny and now I feel that my weight is good. BUT... my loose skin on my tummy is pooching out over my waist band. Could it be hormones? Could it be that I have not been logging food as regular and getting in too many calories? Could it be that my body is shifting and I need to buy some new clothes to accommodate (HEY! An opportunity to shop)
It could be all of the above. But honestly when I went to lunch bunch yesterday, I felt great because life is so wonderful. I didn't feel bloated that usually comes with my period. And as appearance oriented as I am, I felt like a feminine million bucks in my new pink sweater and yes its good to be a thin woman. I used to feel so unfemine and yucky and unsatisfied when I couldn't buy hardly anything to make me feel pretty..
Yesterday though at the luncheon, I felt self conscious cause I had gained weight! Everyone else lost weight and here I am gaining weight! What? I wanted to tell Susan about it but we didn't have much time to chat. She's always been the one I confide in with these sensitive issues. I figured I would just "out" with it to you all cause honesty is the best policy after all.
But, I am also scared because I am able to eat more food and I am going to scale back on the number of protein shakes I consume simply because, for the first time, I DON'T need them for my protein source anymore. I once did! So I guess its that time in maintenance mode where its time to reshift and refocus.. find out what works, what doesn't and tweek it again.
OOookkkk.... I'm at the end of my ramblings. I could use a group hug . But TODAY I am back to basics and going to rid myself of at least 4 of these 6 lbs. I feel 120 has been my magic #.