Greetings I am new and I live in Knoxville, TN:idea:

Hello to everyone and how are you all doing? I am new to this Message Board or talking to poeple about my weight problems. It has been a really struggle for me and my family. My weight issues are messing with my life, my work, my family, and my love life.. I do not look at myself in the mirror and I can not seem to find clothes that fit right nor can I find clothes that feel good or look good at a price I can afford.. I went to Wal-Mart last Saturday and I got really upset because I could not find a coat that I could wear. In the whole store the largest size was a 1X.. in coats for women. I am ashame of being this big. I know I should not let that upset me but it does greatly. I left the store crying. I use to clean houses and make over 500. a day only to quite my business because my back and legs can not take the stairs and I developed Asthma from being over weight. And other health issues too.:'o My family tries to comfort me and they try to help, but it does not.. They just see me as the small little girl that has not grown up in their eyes. They do not see the obese woman who is servely depress and can not look poeple in the eyes. I can not even ride a roller coaster with my brothers and sister.. I break chairs and I hear the whispers that my aunts and unlces and cousins say to one another. I feel worse because I know it hurts my parents that I feel bad a lot and can not do a lot of things. I am so ashame of being 277 pounds that I have not been on a date sense I was about 16. I can not even let someone hug me for fear of them touching my stomach or seeing that look in their eyes when I walk in the room.. I get tired of being compare to my smaller twin sister. She has nothing wrong with her. I have poly cystic ovary sydome. It was caught late and now I am over weight because of it. I have been placed on non-stop diets and pills by doctors and none have worked. I am on alot of meds. that I could scream. I am 28 years old and I take more meds than my 31 year old brother. I did get approved for the surgery only to find that my doctor cut all TennCare Medcaid clients from his waitting list peramently. And not contact them to let them know. I had to call six months later to find out about being removed from the waiting. Now I can not seem to find a doctor who takes TennCare Medcaid state insurance. I was searching the net and I found this site hoping someone can help me. I was hoping that telling poeple what I have gone through, well help them to keep up on there surgery date tabs. So what happen to me will not happen to them. New in Knoxville,TN..Thank you for reading my raving madnes about what being over weight has cause me.:@ Tina

Hi Tina, I am 5'3", and my starting weight was 299. I was weighed in at my new surgeons office in Sept. at 277.5, he wanted me to lose 10 more pounds if possible. I was weighed in at my PCP's this week at 271.5. I may have come down on you in your first message, if I offended you I am truly sorry, it wasn't my intention. I just get so mad sometimes that I need to vent. I've been the route with Boyce medicade and the steep money he wants up front. It's like he's more into the money then helping people. Even when I attended his seminar two years ago, he went on and on about the costs, he's fee, etc. Please don't hate me if I stepped on toes. It wasn't at you. I would tell anyone on this board to not give up, on their dreams, their hopes. I know the feeling of trying to find clothes to fit. There is a program here on OH.com regarding clothes. These are clothes that others have out grown after having their surgery. I'll find it and let you know how to get in touch with this site. Hang in there, love Kathy

Hi Tina, go to the Welcome tab, scroll down to where it says "already had wls, there's a section there regarding clothing exchange. You might be able to get a coat that way. If not let me know. I have a cape type coat, that I have and not wearing. It's a blue/black/tan on one side and a rain type of material on the other. It interferrs with my wheelchair as it's long and too bulky for me to where. It keeps getting under the wheels of my power chair and I get irrate with it, so I just washed and dryed it, and packed it away. You are welcome to it. No charge. Kathy

Hi Tina. I am fairly new to this site as well. You will find a lot of support on this site. You can read other profiles and see the experiences other people have gone through. It is very motivating. You should know that you are not alone. I am sure several of us have felt alone with our weight problems. Fortunately, coming across this web site has allowed me to not think like that. What ever you do, keep striving on. I truly believe that "what is meant to be, will be". It is all in His hands. Try to stay positive and do not stop fighting for what you need. I am working on getting into a support group as well as this site and I think it would be good for you to find one in your area to attend. I do agree that you need to call the number on the back of your card and have your insurance help you find a provider in your area. Or use this site to search for surgeons and see what kind of insurance they take. So you have a twin? I have a twin too! And your comments about a roller coaster hit home for me too. My Husband, who is really skinny, loves going to amusement parks and sporting events. I have always been overweight but have gained quite a bit a weight in the past couple of years. Since then, I do not go to amusement parks or sporting events either due to sitting in the seats. So, I feel bad about holding him back. But he is very supportive of whatever decision I make with surgery. He just wants me to be healthy. He doesn't understand what it is like to be this weight so I don't tell him we aren't going to the amusement parks because I don't fit anymore. He would say that isn't true but it really is. I just say I don't want to go or it is too hot or maybe next summer. Whatever excuse I can think of. Hopefully, I will get approved for surgery and will not have to make excuses next summer! I do miss being active. It takes all of the strength I have to get through a full time work week and I barely get through it. I have to spend the weekends recuperating. So whatever you do, do not give up on getting this surgery and know we are out here for you. Also, do not be ashamed of your weight. Your weight doesn't make you who you are. You are a great person. Do not let anyone tell otherwise just because you are overweight. If you accept your self for who you are and what qualities you have now, you will greatly succeed after you have the surgery. Good luck with everything and let me know if you need anything. Misty

Dear Misty, Thank you for hope and words. I understand fully at what our weight has cost poeple like us. I went to the fair this year hoping that I could ride several rides to find out that the only things I really could do is walk around and watch my sibling having all the fun. Well, one day I will have that fun too and my health will not get in the way. I will keep on trying. I wish you all the luck with your surgery. I hope that you will get to ride a roller coaster next summer. Thank you, Tina

Hello Tina and welcome to the TN board. You will find a lot of support on OH. There are so many areas to get your questions answered. There is always someone else who feels, experiences, or traveled the road you are on. When people are outside looking in they don't understand how we feel or what we've been through. They assume we choose to be this way. Don't let judgemental individuals get you down. I know it's hard to ignore but they are not trying to assist you with accomplishing your goals, they are just talking on the sidelines. Post here for support and encouragement. Ask questions you need answers to. You just have one more hurdle to cross. Hang in there!! Use this site and your profile as your journal to express yourself. Everyone here understands the struggle (Pre-ops and Post-ops). Again, welcome to the TN board! Lisa

Dear Lisa, Thank you for you kind supportive words. I really do need then alot in days I feel this bad. But inside I know that their are others who are worse off than I am. But it does help to know that their is poeple out their that care alot. Thank You, Tina

Hi Tina, I posted this to the Roll Call post. I thought it might be better if I posted it here. If you don't mind traveling a bit, I would suggest Dr. Michael Hodge in Johnson City. I have TnCare/Medicade as well. He is taking mine.As for the feeling bad over your weight, I know about that as well. I don't look into the mirror any longer. I don't like what I see. Thing's will get better. I weigh more than you do, by quiet a lot. I try to keep a smile on my face, but someday's it's hard. Keep your chin up & keep on looking for that Dr. Love, Sara. P.S. I live right outside Knox. I live outside of Hall's. Are you close to there?

Dear Sara, Thank you for your support. If you how the address and phone number of this Dr.Michael Hodge I am greatly interested. I have been fighting the battle before I was an adult.. I was treated late for polycystic ovary syndrome. I had thought I was going through manupause early because of my grandmother did. But I went to the female doctor she told me because I have been such a good girl that I did not need to be check like I should.. I went for years not have monthly flows and started getting acne and facial hair. I started putting on weight scense I was 13 years and it got worse. I tried all kinds of diets even ones that messed with my stomach and would kill me.. I always felt bad, because I did not know that excising 3 hours a day was bad until I develop problems with my arms and my back. Later about around 21. I went back to a new doctor who took blood and said I needed a gyon. When I went I was told straight off the I had poly cystic ovary syndrome. I went to three others and stayed with the third all saying the same thing. Except Now this one has put me on diets and pills for diabetics to help, but it hurts more than helps. My body will lose 5-15 pounds then stops. And then I am placed on a new diet that just tortures me. My family thinks I am kidding when I say I wish this never happen to me. I was never one to cry about myself until about a year ago when Dr.Boyce did what he did. I told my mother that sometimes life get's you down and sometimes it just kick's one in the teeth. I am 28 years old and the only one in my family that really supports me in this is my twin sister. She is now finding it hard herself in the last year. She now knows what it is like to go through life being 50 pounds over weight. I really feel for her. IF I could I would wave a magic wand and make everyone in this world healthy and happy. But it does not work that way. I think being over weight has taught me a great deal in life. You know who your real friends are and who is not. You know what to expect too. But those challenges we go throught to just fit in are teaching us our worth. Was feeling really down yesterday. Until I saw a lot of others going through what I was going through. They have it a lot worse off than me. I feel better knowing that poeple like me care about others like them. I Live in Karns and Powell area. I just wish that local stores could get a lot better clothes and coats that looks good and feels good in sizes to fit everyone at good affordable prices.But life does not work that way, the sad part is their is more of us than smaller poeple . It is weird in a way igore the poeple in the large groups and cader to the small group. My email address is : [email protected].

Hi Tina! Just wanted to give you a little support and let you know that everyone on this board has felt the way you do at one time or another. I was lucky enough to have the surgery.... however before I did, my self esteem was non-existent. Don't give up on your dream, but also research your surgeon!! Don't let TennCare decide for you.