How do you tell someone

that you loves you the way you are now that you are having WLS? I dont know how to start explaining or telling them that i will be having surgery and not telling them is not an option. I have to let them know, i want to let them know but im scared of their reaction. I think they will think i am doing it for vanity reasons and will tell me in return that there is nothing wrong with me and that i dont need wls. Im torn....

Maybe start off by explaining that you have something to share with them because you love them and want them to know about all the wonderful changes that will be taking place.  Then add that you are looking for their support, not their permission to have the surgery.  Explain what you will need from them and ask if they are willing to give their support...If they aren't, then I would not discuss it with them any further.

Hi Michele,  Thanks for opening up my mind. I love when you say to let them know about all the wonderful changes that will be taking place. That is a great way to start the conversation. Thank you!

Sorry you are struggling with this.  Loving you just the way you are, includes the facts that you worry about your weight and what it is doing to you.  This person (s) must realize that you worry.  Make sure that you have all your research at hand to answer possible questions.  Ultimately, if this person still has a really hard time with you wanting to do this for yourself, the issue may lie within them and their fears.  Be open to their reasons and look beyond the words to the feelings and emotions behind the words.  Like always, communicate, communicate and communicate.  Just my thoughts.  Good luck to you!

Hi Traci,  Ah more mind thinking suggestions of issues  within them and their fears. More to think about.  Thank you, i knew i would get help here!!!

Imalibra, Explain to this person that obesity triggers many health problems that can be debilitating and even deadly. You want to prevent them from occurring in your life, and the WLS tool will provide help in reaching this goal. Provide as much information about the surgery that you think this person can handle. Tell this person that you really want their support, but if they are unable to provide it, at least accept your decision gracefully. As a father, I didn't believe any man was good enough to be a husband for my daughter, but when she wanted to marry, all I could do was give her my blessing.  The rest was up to her and her husband. This person has to accept your decision and get behind you as you go down the WLS journey. HTH Fred

I was planning on telling very few people, but I'm not so good at keeping secrets. Anyway, as I slowly told people, I was amazed at how positive EVERYONE was. I remember sort of cringing as I told them, and people would hug me and say how great it was. It was a very reassuring and loving surprise for me.

I spent 13 years with someone who loved me the way I was, didn't even want me to get my teeth whitened ("but why bother, I love you the way you are, you are so silly").  After he left, I got my teeth whitened, best $500 I EVER spent!  He would never have supported something like this.  So, however you tell your loved one, be sure you stay true to you and go forward with your plans.  This is not about vanity, it is about health, vitality and quality of life.  I hope you find a way to communicate that and gain the support you hope for.  Hoping love find a way....

They may not care about your weight or how you look, but they DO care about your health.  So explain the health reasons you're doing this.  For me, I'm pre-diabetic, pre-hypertensive. I want to retire early - in 5 years, and I want to be healthy when I retire.  I'd like to live at least another 30 years, and I'd like them to be good years.  You probably have similar reasons, and my guess is that people who love you will support you once you explain them.  You may also want to find ways to get them connected with people who've had the procedure, or take them with you to meet your surgeon, so they can ask questions about risks, etc.  That should help resolve any fears they have about safety.  L

Just wanted to add my $.02 too.   It may take them awhile to come around after you first tell them, so you may need to be patient.  Just as this is a huge decision & a long process for most of us, it is also a process for those we love to understand (or at least accept) why we would choose to take this step.  As hard as this is on you, if you can put yourself in their shoes, it helps diffuse a difficult conversation.  They may have questions, doubts, objections, or not want you to take risks.  They may be jealous of the person you will become.  But in the end, if they love you, they will accept your decision & support you however they can.   Outline your reasons & if they respond unfairly or negatively, stay calm & logical.  Let them know this is an important decision you've made & wanted to share with them as loved ones.  Let them know you will answer questions they have.  But believe in yourself above all else!!  In the end, this is about doing what's right for you! Ok, maybe this was a bit more than $.02.  Good luck!!