OT: would you date a man who's 40 lbs overweight?

Ahhh,

Good for you Katherine, you're all happy, in love and settled.  It's tough being in the dating world at 44.

Suzi

Ok, you told me to be honest so I will...and Im not one to bite my tongue anyway. Suzi I luv ya, but I honestly think you have lost your mind. I think you may have forgotten where you came from, and thats not good at all. How would you have felt or how did you feel when someone didnt want to date you because your were "fluffy"? How can we look down our noses at someone for being overweight and we have all been there, and many of us are still there. I hate to see people forget where they came from. If I was him I wouldnt want to date you, for even feeling like you need to as a question like that. I think you need to stop and think, and I think when you do you will have your answer.

Dani

PS I still luv ya!

Hi Danielle,

Yup, it's honesty I asked for and thank you for yours.  It's NOT that I look down my nose at him, I HAVE been seeing him for the last two months and have a great time with him but he is asking me to get serious and not date anyone else.  I also have been seriously dating lately and not being shy at all to tell the men I'm dating that I want to be in love, be exclusive and be married.  This is something I have never done before; saying I want to be married.  It definately throws out the dirty bath water so to speak. 

So don't get me wrong, definately not looking down my nose at him but it's just that he seems to be content about his weight and his snoring and here I am having had surgery.  It will be some discussion when I tell him.

Suzi

The question is not would *I* date someone who was overweight.

The question(s) is are YOU attracted to him?  Do YOU like him?  How does he make YOU feel?

Me personally -- I'm 5'9.  Even if i get to my goal weight, I'll never be a delicate petite flower.  I like a guy with a little meat on his bones.  So 40 lbs on someone 6 foot tall would not be a problem for me.

But what does that have to do with you???

MM

For sure, MM

On the surface the man you choose to be with, is a reflection of yourself and as ourselves we are all so conscious of our weight right now as we've all vested so much in the surgeries.  Exactly what you said.  What does it have to do with me?

Suzi

Although...does he do that often?  Lay around on the couch in his underwear?  Cause...that'd be a deal breaker for me.  :)

MM

Oh my god, MM

No that's not him....I would never post his pic without his permission, that's some FLIKR search guy that showed up when I plugged in chubby man for the search phrase.  Couch potatoes no, no, no.

ROTFLMAO!!!!  HA HA HA..omg, girl....that is too funny!!  I was sitting there thinking, 40 lbs...no biggie.  The tighty whities (even though his are gray)...THAT would be a problem.

LMAO..I'm still chuckling.

MM

Ok you asked for MY brutally honest opinion!!  Now I LOVE the big guys, well I just LOVE men in general.  I have dated from 5'6 140 to 6'2 400 so believe me when I say WEIGHT was NOT an issue for me.

Now with that out the way, I'm currently in a living situation with a man whose eating habits undermine MINE.  He loves rice, bread, sodas etc.  He is also not very active.  THESE things are more of a problem for me then his actual weight.

You have to look at ALL the aspects of whether or not you are attracted to this man in his current form.  Don't go into this thinking "I can change him" or "I can help him loose the weight" etc.  If you don't dig him for him MOVE on sister cause life is to short.

Ms Shell