OT: would you date a man who's 40 lbs overweight?

I like your attitude Ms. Shell....now I would have never guessed you are in a living situation from your posts....is he your guy or a room mate?

Exactly, the eating habits, and lack of exercise these are all things which affect a relationship and believe me, I know how you don't ever try and change someone, learnt that one a long time ago.

Suzi

Hmmmm he's a guy who is my room mate and we have sex, but I don't consider him MY guy =)  I like a FUN yet complicated life....

I'll say...you sure do!

Can you say "how many things go unsaid in that kind of a situation"; oh man, I feel sorry for when you say....I met someone I'm really into, thanks for all the great sex but.....

Oh Ms. Shell, what will you do?

Ditto Maureen. It's about how he makes you feel emotionally and physically. Not the actual weight per se.

My grandmother would say that I should remember how callous I was when I'm fighting to keep the weight off.   Because it won't stay easy forever.

I had a male friend once that was telling me what he wanted in a woman.  One of the things was "not an ounce of body fat."  He didn't say a word about wanting someone nice.  And the big laugh was that it surprised him that he went out with a lot of women that weren't nice.

Bodies change, bodies get sick, bodies betray us.  You always have the person inside though.

Your grandmother is a smart woman, Teri J.

Just for arguments sake, it's bloddy amazing how many men say there is no way they'd date a fat girl ...they put it on profiles, dating websites, etc., etc. but whan a woman says it we all beat each other up over even stating such a thing.  I'm just saying.....

She's 100 and she's a pip!

 Suziq - I applaude you for saying it honestly - and I hope you don't feel so desperate for a nice guy who is into you to let it continue....your gut was telling you you need to stop him from getting more serious before you hurt him - so you already know the answer - and it could have been a lot of other things besides the 40 lbs.....it's hard to define what creates chemistry and what doesn't - but you need it as well as the "nice" guy - doesn't have to be one or the other - can be and should be both.

By the way - 44 is certainly not too old to find the love of your life...and it sounds like you are haviing a good time shopping!  My mom married her third husband after she was widowed, retired & on Medicare - and they were ecstatically happy with each other for the next 20+ years - she said she never would have thought she'd find her true love - he wore a toupee but she thought he was the handsomest thing she'd ever seen......hold out for that kind of feeling - it's worth waiting for!

Suzi, you asked us to be honest so I will be.  I'm sorry if this sounds harsh.

Are you nuts?  It sounds to me like you are just looking for flaws in this guy.  First the snoring thing, and now the 40 lbs and the forehead?

From what you say about him he sounds like a nice guy.  How would you feel if you found out he went to his friends picking you apart and pointing out your flaws?  You were once overweight, you should know better than this.

If you aren't attracted to him , then you aren't- you don't want him, then cut him loose.  But I don't think you're being fair to him by making pro/con lists about him on a public forum, and I think you would be really embarassed if you heard he did such a think to you.