What about your friends??

My friends and colleagues have been 100% supportive. (Or, maybe they can tell that I don't want to hear about it if they are not and are keeping dark thoughts to themselves ;-) )

 I wouldn't say I've lost any really good friends, I have a more distant relationship with some folks that I used to be kind of tight with.  I can't go out to restaurants every day anymore, I can't go drink the bar dry anymore.  Or I guess I could but I generally choose not to.

Your habits change, your tendencies change, your friends might change too.  A few guys told me I've gotten to good to hang out, my response is I would love to hang out but it's a little difficult to stay on track and be that social right now, plus I'm working out during my lunch hour now so I don't really have time.

I have heard of many people losing dear friends, I guess I wasn't a very social guy before anyway so I had way less opportunity to lose :)

Strangely I find those who are least supportive are overweight.  And I haven't really lost friends but I sometimes don't feel they are 100% behind me.  Sometimes I almost get the feeling they're hoping this won't work for me...I can only assume because it will validate their choice not to do this.

I've made many more friends than I've lost.  Sometimes I'm conflicted about that because I'm like where were you the last 23 years?!  But I just try to roll with it.  I think some of my long time thinner friends are a little dazed with my change.  They don't know what to think.  I've changed and it's uncomfortable when people in your closer relationships change...even when it's for the better.  So basically I'm seeing where that goes.  Sometimes you mature and go off in a different direction and it's no one's fault, it's just life.  But so far I've been pretty impressed with how my old friends things really haven't changed.  Most are excited for me, maybe a teensy bit jealous.

I love that song and love TLC! I personally have seen people respond negatively to other people I know who have lost weight and look great, and have been treated differently in the past. So far I haven't had any problems like this too much. I also have a great bunch of friends around me.

I can tell you that I was THAT friend in the past to someone else. A friend of mine had RNY, and I had a really hard time with it. I have never felt that RNY is the healthiest procedure and don't think anyone should have malabsorption unless it's a last resort. Just my personal opinion of health, not a judgement on anyone else. At the time I had lost 150 pounds the "hard way" and thought I knew everything.

I also had a hard time supporting her when she was drinking alcohol and eating sugar and then dumping and having transfer addictions and crazy fluctuations in her personality, or when she thought that having the RNY entitled her to give nutrition advice (personal pet peeve of mine). I also thought that she didn't make enough changes to the psychological aspects, where I had made huge shifts personally.

However after I gained the 150 pounds back and decided to have the VSG, I called her (I hadn't spoken to her for a while and we had drifted apart) and gave her an honest and sincere apology. And her response to me was beautiful.. she told me that she hadn't been offended by my attitude at the time.. she just knew I wasn't where she was yet.. I hadn't hit my own BOTTOM.

I was so thankful my bad attitude and jealousy hadn't affected her. She taught me something that day.

So just remember when you have that jealous or unsupportive friend, just remember that they might just need your empathy more than others. They may know that they are jealous but can't help themselves because they are miserable or have a lesson to learn or what have you. I know this because that was me...

 I haven't lost "a lot" of weight compared to many people here. I will say that I have very supportive friends and family. I will also say that I don't have a lot of close friends near me (most of my really close friends are still in Maryland, I am in Vegas) 

My BEST friend really choses not to acknowledge my surgery. She doesn't ask how I am doing or how I am losing... but I can understand because she has lost a lot of weight on her own (I hate saying it that way, I am doing it on my own too! LOL) She has also said "it wouldn't have been my decision, but good for you". Basically, she feels like I am "cheating". 

One of the biggest reasons I considered WLS at all was because my best friend had the lap band just over 3 years ago and was so successful. I was there with her through the pre-op testing and appointments, on the day of surgery, and I cleared my schedule to take care of her for the several days immediately postop so that she could feel safe and supported. During the last three years, weight loss wise, she's done great and has sustained about a 140lb loss.

She was *my* biggest supporter during these last three years while I was attempting to lose weight other ways and grappling with the idea of potentially having surgery to help me do so. And when I finally decided on going through with VSG a month or so ago (I still wasn't even sure if I was doing the right thing up until the minute I was sedated, laying on that OR table!) she was there to cheer me on. But she was also there buying me delicious bakery cookies and cakes for my birthday, and telling me that it was ok to go out for a special birthday dinner even though I was trying hard to lose weight prior to my surgery that was scheduled less than 5 days later.

Since then she has texted me some, and called me a couple of times, but she did not come to the hospital the day I had surgery to help calm my nerves, nor has she made the effort to spend a single minute with me postoperatively.

I still love her and she's still my best friend, but I must say that I am disappointed that she was bitten by the big green monster. While she was losing and at her current weight I was always so excited for her to be comfortable in her body, happier doing normal life activities, and receiving infinitely more male attention which I know makes her feel good-- and I let her know how excited that made me! I hope that one day soon she'll become comfortable with herself enough to share that same excitement with me.