LOVE??

Okay, I guess I'm letting it all out here on this board...BUT I feel comfortable enough to do so, so here goes: I'm 28, single, no children, I own my own home, has vehicles, 2 degrees, gainfully employed, and I've NEVER been in a SERIOUS relationship my entire adult life. The last guy I was in a serious relationship with was in the 10th grade (and to some accounts, that doesn't COUNT)! 

So, I guess my question is: How many of you out there have lost weight and gained a MATE? Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not looking to lose weight to gain the love of ANYONE.....truth is, most of my time is taken up with my career, volunteering, church, and family! However, I know that people tend to change when YOU CHANGE!!

Honestly though, I feel that if I do lose the weight, I wouldn't date anyone I know who didn't have an interest in me before. Granted, I'm a big girl, but even after losing weight, I'll still be the SAME GIRL! Yet, I do know that we live in a society that has become quite superficial, and I know I'll have suiters at my doorstep at some point. So, has anyone experienced this??

Care to share??

I've been a heavy weight all of my life.  I, too, have only had one serious relationship before I met my husband.  It was mostly due to my insecurities and committment issues to why I never had any other long term relationships.  Don't get me wrong--I dated a lot no matter what my size was, but I was unable to invest myself emotionally.  The only "serious" relationship I had before meeting my husband was all about taking care of this "loser" boyfriend until I gained enough confidence and trust in myself to say enough is enough and moved him out one day when he was intoxicated.  He was in the tipsy stage where everything was agreeable.  I rented him a room and moved his butt right into it.  This was after trying to breakup with him for over a year--I just didn't want to hurt him or I was too weak to make it stick or a little bit of both.  I met my husband shortly afterwards and there was  an instant attraction.  He is the only person I have ever trusted or loved enough to say "I do" and "I love you" too. 

So what I'm trying to say in my long-winded response is, love will happen at the most unexpected times and you just need to open yourself up enough to receive the love and be happy enough with who you are that you can be happy with someone special.  Love starts with oneself and then moves on to others.  I will be married 12 years this July and we are still deeply in love. 

Your soul mate will come into your life when God wants him to enter.  Whether it be pre surger or post surgery, it is not really a choice that any of us have.  I met my husband when I dropped a roll of stamps in the post office.  How odd is that?  That person will come into your life and you will know, and they will love you unconditionally, if they do not, they are not the one which God has sent to you! It will happen when you least expect it! Until that time, keep rockin' that sleeve to a new and healthy you!

Please don't get me wrong, I LVE me no matter my size! I've even had some to say that I'm "too" confident. Most of it has come from my mother. She instilled self-confidence in me early on, and I'm so glad that she did. I just know of friends who have lost weight, gained a MATE, so I was wondering how people on here have dealt with this, if at all! I know that in due time God will bless me with all that he'll have me to HAVE. I also know that he'll give me the desires of my heart!! So, I'm in NO RUSH whatsoever!  I'm just taking it all in stride, and learning more and more about me DAILY!!! 

Well with me I had a hard time accepting dates when I was bigger than I am now. I didn't want the guy who thought I was attractive because I was a big girl I didnt want a chubby chaser. Now since I had the surgery a coouple of weeks ago hopefully in the next month or so I will still feeling more confident and put my self out there more and say yes to dates because I would like to fall in  love one day.

I am single and have not dated in over 3 years. I know as I keep on living a positive lifestyle I will be attracting the right people in my life. Dont think about the jerks in the past,good things are coming your way. I have no doubt you will be the one choosing who will be long term or not. Wishing you happiness always,

count me into the "Lonely Hearts Club" and be I am handing in my resignation after my surgery. I always had a hard time trusting men and thier intentions. I also have a heard time trusting myself and picking the right person

You all have such BEAUTIFUL spirits. I agree that I've NOT accepted dates due to not knowing their intentions, plus many of the people that approach me, may have a preconceived notion of thinking that because I'm a BIG girl, I'll accept anything & that's just NOT the case. This surgery is NOT a CUREALL, and I know that I'm going to have to work hard healing physically as well as emotionally. Right now, I've not allowed anyone to get too close to me!  I've never had a desire to have children, so I guess that's why I'm not in a BIG hurry....but I do desire to be loved with (EROS love) and not just AGAPE ( parents, friends, family, etc.)!! I wanna SMOOCH...lmbo!! 

I have a special talent for picking the wrong guys. I've started dating more in the past month or two and hope to meet the right guy for me eventually. I'm in no rush. I've gone on plenty of dates though and it's been a fun experience. Just enjoy the dating part and meeting new people and see what comes along. :)

It is stange I got a lot of attention when I was bigger my heaviest weight was 271 and guys were hitting on me. I did not feel good about myself to accept the attention besides the fact I am married. I now weight 229 had surgery April 12 th but lost most of it before surgery. My concern was what my husband thought of me the reason being I was at 180 when we met and married. I hit rock bottom I did not get the surgery because of him he still loved me but I did not love myself being that heavy but I am getting more attention from him lately. Hum! We all need someone who excepts and love us for who we are. If you decide you want love I hope you find it and be very happy!