Lots of changes... I need hugs!!!

Okay... so I guess I am starting to feel the emotional stuff that everyone talks about...

I had surgery 7/19... had some complications but I am doing fine now... just took me a bit longer to get back up and running... I've been out of the hospital one week today.

Here are my issues.... I am still stuck at my parents house with my 4 year old for another night or two... I am lucky, my parents are great, but I want to be home in my own space again.  My daughter has special needs and as much as it sucks to be away from home it is better that I don't hurt myself trying to take care of her 100% before I should...

My husband and I are getting divorced... it is a wnoderful thing... some might remember that there was a lot of abuse, and it was my choice to end it..... however it is still hard.  I see how it impacts my daughter... he has a new girlfriend and they like to "play house" with our daughter and her niece, going on outings and all... which is fine, expcept my daughter is really struggling, the niece even has the same name, so now "daddy has a new Olivia" :-(  He hasn't really spent any time with her without them in a few weeks, and he usually only takes her once a week at best.

I've started dating again too, and I have met a very nice man... things are going well, but I am trying not to be needy... I wanted to text him today so much, but I am staying strong!

Added with recovery from surgery, the period that would never end (they finally had to put me on hormones to slow it down) and everything else I am a wreck tonight.  Enter head hunger. Sigh.

I am trying to keep my head up, but it's tough today....

I'm sending a hug for you.  Just keep going even if it is just for an hour at a time.  You are on the right track and things will keep geting better.  You'll be in your own place soon.   Have faith in yourself!

Hugs and prayers coming your way. Stay strong and keep focused on your goal weight.

You are making alot of changes, very quickly....and it's going to catch up with you at some point -- either physically or emotionally. Give yourself some time...you have had major surgery, and a major emotional trauma.

On the list of traumatic events you are scoring some really high numbers there !!!

I would take some time to get your feet back under you; spend some quality time with your daughter; and your folks. Then have a sit down with your ex either in a public place or in an attorney's office and have a talk about what his visits should be like with his daughter.

I divorced about 5 years ago, I didn't date for a couple years. For me, I needed the time to be ME, to figure out who ME was again..... to figure out what life was going to look like post marriage.... give yourself some time to heal from surgery and from this split up.

HUGSSS!!!!!!   Right now just focus on you and your recovery and what you can control when you have your daughter.

You cannot control what the ex does, but you can make sure your daughter feels special and secure when you are together..
 

Its sad, I am the child of divorced parents myself and saw some CRAZY things with that and them dating but your little one will be ok as long as mommy stays strong!!!!

xoxoxo
Heal quickly and keep your head up..

Oh dear I am so sorry for ALL you have had to endure and continued to be challenged by..it WILL change for the better..it WILL!! Trust your loving spirit that YOU my dear have already survived the worst in your life..only. to be replaced by a loving, caring, healthier YOU!!

Go slow..don't think too much about the "Future" trust me. Stay with the gift of today.. you have you, good parents and a lovely daughter. As far as your ex and his gf..its all fun and games at first..was he EVER a good father to her? Don't expect much about him any longer.. you are FREE.. Free to start a new.

And yes go slow with your new man..trust me..its hard to go from an abusive one to a nice one, unless you have already done a LOT of therapy and healing.

But I am soo excited for you.. your new beginning..you are a wonderful mother, and a GREAT GAL!!

Hang in there.. remember.. you are never alone.. you have your faith.. us and a smaller you.. every day.

Warmly, Jan

Thanks guys!!!

Most days I can keep a positive outlook... today it is just all getting me down.

I appreciate all of the kind words and encouragement!!!  I can take all that I can get!

 ((HUGS))   and ((BIG HUGS)) too!!

You've got a lot on your plate and you've had some great advice here.  

For my two cents and what it's worth, now is your time and your time with your daughter.  Get rid of the new boyfriend and focus on you and her.  You have enough going on in your life right now and don't need it complicated by another relationship that demands your time and effort.  And, if you  don't put the effort into it, it can't and won't be worth much anyway.

Remind your daughter that she is the only Olivia that calls him Daddy.  While they may have fun and go places with the "other" Olivia, she is just part of the entertainment.  Besides, who knows what kind of life the other Olivia has that allows the aunt to take her all the time.  Help your daughter to understand that she is the most important person in the world to you and to her Daddy.  Never forget that it does neither of you any good to bash the other one or what they are doing in front of the kids!

Lots of prayers for you in this situation and of course,  GREAT BIG HUGS!!

Colleen

Hugs to you!  You are STRONG and will jump these hurdles and then some.  Just think about what life will be like next year at this time!

Sigh...sometimes life can be so challenging...but hang in there it will all work out...Here's a great big hug for you...tomorrow is another day and you can start of fresh.... we are all here for you, sweetie....