Friendship makes you fat.... FML

Fawn, if you move out near these two, you'll need a revision to DS!!

You are both in ******g trouble when I move to Cali! You can't handle my diet! Lol.. But we WILL be friends! Ha ha ha

SO… I have recently taken up hanging out with Jimbo. He's kind of amusing. Always down for whatever adventure I have planned and wears a lot of pink. I like pink. The downside to Jimbo is… he is my friend… What a dick right?!?!
What do we do with friends? Oh, Ill tell you what we do with friends…
WE EAT!!!!
Jim and I have enjoyed some amazing things over the last few weeks, none of which were crunches or leg lifts!!! We've had a whole ******g array of cake pops, some nachos at Chevys, peanut butter cookies… Oh and of course carmel ******g bugles…. and last night… CARROT CAKE in some kinda rum carmel sauce! So we have made a collective decision…
WE MUST BEHAVE!
Jim text me at 10:59 last night… his text read "I think were outta control!" Well, he's right.
I am a social eater… and friends are bad for me so **** JIm, Im done!… hahaha I kid I kid… we have decided… We are going 'POP' starting… this morning… POP meaning "perfect on plan" Nothing off plan or there are consequences… and no Waffle and whips are not part of the consequences though I have a feeling he would enjoy said consequences…
If you cheat.. period a single bite, you buy all the drinks when we go out. When didn't restrict alcohol in this challenge as it is imperative that Jim gets laid and well without a drink… how the **** is that going to happen? And well without a few AMFs I could very well die. Also, if someone suggests food when were together, they get punched… and owe the other money… or something like that.. the vicodin had kicked in by then and I was just agreeing to ****… FML
All that being said.. I have not gained any weight.. Im not sure about Jimmy boy but I don't think he has either. We just don't want to **** up what were got going on… meaning our rocking bodies not the meaningless friendship.
Here are a few pics to commemorate the new foundation of our friendship… VAINITY….

I forgot to add that if you've found your self slippin' don't trip… we luff you… go POP with us!!!






And just for the record Jim… texting me this ****… is just wrong you ******g cheater!

Yes,,, yes, you're right… it was one piece of cake… I think the waitress thought we were insane for leaving it there… 
You are so hard to resist Pinky, but somehow I contain my urges… but I will still help you find someone dumb enough to help you with your penetration goals… preferably a woman…. but ya know desperate times call for desperate measures. And as for my CC Fritos… I have nothing to say… they are not only my savior… but also my nemesis. You know I always win…. watch your back *****bag….

This is the amazingness we left behind… wipes tear from eye...