Had a ****tail last night

So, I was feeling a little sorry for myself....stress of finances, worrying about possibly not having enough sources of protein for the coming week, bla bla bla....so I had my first ****tail postop last night. I'm 4 months out and actually almost done losing....I wanted to post this because at some point last night I saw the question about alcohol.
I had my drink (vodka with crystal light), caught a buzz, went to bed. I woke up with a bit of a headache, just enough to feel a little icky but I went out and did my walk and there is no desire in me for anymore. I have to say that I'm very glad and a little surprised because, quite honestly, I was playing with fire.
This could have gone either way. Lucky for me, today, I don't want to do it again and I have renewed my desire to eat clean.
I had been "using" some chocolate calcium chews as a "treat" 3 times a day....they are Target brand. I baught them preop. I realized that I was feeling "compulsive" and like I wanted to eat....then I realized it was probably the chews....for one, they contain corn syrup as the first ingredient, and two, they are calcium carbonate, not citrate....not ideal calcium to begin with.
So, once the finances are straight this week, I'm marching myself down to the surgeon's office to get some more Celebrate multis and calcium chews and some more Chike (my shake of choice).
So, this turned into a bit of a confessional but, sometimes that's how it goes and that's what I clearly needed!
I try to learn from others' experiences but sometimes I just have to learn from my own stubborn mistakes and choices.
I hope this special day finds everyone safe and centered....and grateful.

Tiff

Oh those we learn by "doing" lol, right?

First of all, you seem to have the insight that the ****tail was not for a good purpose right? Sounds like you are having some old coping strategies pop up when stressed.

Remember we will NOT metabolize alcohol the same as before. In other words you can get a buzz more quickly and be a drunk driver or abuse alcohol on just a little.

Can you find other ways to cope? Like FEEL your emotions?
Or.. treat yourself in ways that are safer and healthier?
Its something we ALL need to learn or we wouldn't have had WLS

Right?

Glad you are ok..Hugs, Jan

Thanks Jan....and yes, you are right. I do know the motivation behind my behavior....just didn't stop me! I think I just needed a pity party and I had one and now I'm done.
Before, this would have been a "several drinks each night for a week plus snacks and large quantities pity party" so...like I said, I KNEW I was playing with fire but I guess I just needed to get it out of my system.
I was talking to my husband about things a few weeks ago and he said....man, you are more angry now...things get to you more...I said no, not really...now I just have to be angry....I can't reach for the nearest food to shove in my mouth and push down the anger....now I just have to feel it and deal with it....and so do you! LOL

Tiff..Like I said, you have to FEEL your emotions..but that can be scary when we're ALL used to stuffing them with booze, cigarettes and FOOD!! Not to mention all of the above LOL

This is all brand new to us.. coping without our usuals.

Tiff, I need to tell you that following WLS can really lead to abusing other things. So.. if you're used to coping with alcohol..it can be ignited afterwards where our COPING leads to the "abuse" stage which then leads oh so quickly to addiction. And I am serious that it takes so little to be legally a drunk driver..another hard lesson.

All this is unintentional..but it breaks my heart to witness this pattern with others over and over post WLS. YOU may be able to intellectualize this ( a good thing) but your brain will lead you back to where you left off (drinking pattern) prior to surgery once its "ignited" again. Can you tell I worked in drug and alcohol? Hard hard lessons. I would not have booze in house until you can cope a little healthier Tiff. Otherwise its an old friend..just waiting to "comfort you"

Find a good counselor who knows this stuff and deal with your emotions hon.. your hubby is right.

Hugs, Jan