going to have to deal with my first social thing....sort of OT

So, the new neighbors (who happen to be the most adorable young family ever) just came by with cupcakes for us. (which look sooo yummy-but of course I wont be tasting lol)  It was so sweet... and the whole family came (they have a 18 month old daughter) and I am like HORRIBLY shy so in my social awkwardness I didnt even THINK to invite them in, so hubby is going to go ask them to come over for a cookout this weekend.

I figure we will do shishkabobs on the grill and do some shrimp ones that I can eat. I will make potatoes salad for them....and do like candy apples for dessert, but I will just eat a little of the insides of the apple....

anyway- I still think I might have to fess up. I eat such small amounts and I mean people look at me and know that I am a big girl....and if I eat like that they will just think I am a closet eater lol. So.....whadya think? Would you tell the new neighbors that you have only spoken to in passing but that there is a possibility of being friends???

First, your menu sounds great.

I'm socially awkward myself sometimes, but very open so I've told everyone who ever sees me eat (limited info: I've had WLS and can only eat small amounts) so I probably would. If you're not sure, try seeing if they ask -  if you keep busy and moving they may never notice. Cookouts don't tend to be sit-down situations. They may just think you're eating when they're not looking.

Yea like today I told the nurse I was working with at the flu clinic because I will probably never see her again and I had like one piece of lunch meat and one slice of cheese.

Tell or don't tell it's up to you but i never seen the cook eating and when i have a dinner party or the like i hardly eat anything because I've been picking all day.  I'm just 3 months out and not one person has commented when we've gone out to dinner which i started doing at 6 weeks.  Mind you it seems like I've been on some kind of diet for the past decade, they probably are tired of it or just presume it's another. Having said that I'm constantly around people whose paychecks are directly connected to their waistline, so most of them push around a green salad at mealtimes. Good luck.  There was an interesting post yesterday about when you tell people your business you open yourself up to their opinions.  You should read through it.

How sweet is that?  It's so rare that neighbors take the time to introduce themselves these days.  I totally agree with you in sharing your surgery.  I am very guarded with my privacy at work but am open with just about anyone else.  You don't want to give a false first (or second) impression so it will help them fully understand. 

Hopefully they won't bat an eye or give any negative feedback.  :) 

isn't it! Whats really amazing is they are like 19 years old both in college, with this baby and they are trying to make it work together being soo young, but they still have time for others.

If you don't want to disclose then I woudl try to camoflage your actual portion size.  If you put 2 oz's of shrimp on a teeny tiny plate, they will notice.  But if you give yourself a glass of water, have a normal plate, put a little of what everyone else is eating on your plate including your planned meal, you have camoflaged your meal with what everyone else is eating. Now just eat your normal portion, slide the other food around and spread it out on the plate.  Between bites, get up a lot and be a good hostes to give an excuse for taking so long and they likely won't notice.

If you want to be more direct, just let them know you recently had stomach surgery and are on a restricted diet. I have done this at resturants. Few equate stomach surgery to WLS since the gold standard is RNY. Most think hernia repair or an ulser thing.  A few may ask specifics but you can normally shut that down by saying you don't really want to talk about it. 

The otherside of the coin is they are your new neighboor and will wittness your dramatic weight loss first hand and will eventually comment and/or ask how you are doing it.  Coming out may just make things easier from the get go.

good points...

They sound really sweet and you may end up being pretty friendly. I say confide in the wife.  It won't hurt and I doub't she'll be judgemental. If you end up becoming friends, you'll tell he someday anyway.  If she tells her husband that's ok.  Guys won't notice what you eat and I'm sure he won't judge your surgery, either.  Focus on the preparation and the kids and small talk and it's possible nobody will notice your plate.   If you are really relaxed about it, they will be too.

I always recommend having a lot of wine available so they won't notice, but I think I read in this thread that they're 19?  But if they're of age, I really recommend lots of beer and wine.