Dating after surgery... how do you get your head to catch up???

Hi guys!  I am 4 months out and 126lbs down (I lost 66 pre-op) and I am 7.5 months out of my marriage (divorce is final...).

I have been dating since Summer and have met some great guys... one boyfriend, though that ended on friendly terms when he got a promotion and was transfered about 2 hours away...

Any how, I just don't know how to get my head to catch up to the rest of me... I mean, I have insecurities and my body is beat in a lot of ways from being heavy, but the guys I've met truly are not worried about it... I haven't gotten that close to many, but still...

The guy I'm currently seeing is great... he keeps telling me that I have a skewed perception of what other people look like :-)  He says that most adult women, espically those who have had kids, have the exact same insecurities and that I don't see myself clearly at all... and I kind of agree with him... at 188 and just 3 lbs away from being plain old overweight I guess I do fit in with the 60+% of people who are either overweight or obese... I'm even on the lower end...

I just don't know how to get my head to catch up........

I have the exact same thing.

I was at an Adoption Support Group Thanksgiving dinner Saturday - they took pictures of each family. I looked at mine and I just look...normal. My husband had me look at myself in the picture and look at the pictures of the other women there, so I would realize that I was no longer one of the heaviest ones. I used to be the heaviest by far, now I'm about in the middle.

We're getting family portraits done 12/7. Maybe if I put the new ones next to the old ones from two years ago it will start to sink in. Maybe.

You do look beautiful!

Thanks :-)  I'm actually an adoptive mom myself :-)

I am totally used to being the heaviest in a room/event/anything and now I'm really not, or not often.  I do miss having someone that I am close enough to to ask "Am I bigger or smaller that her..." about someone I see out and about... I just don't trust my perception!

I am a pretty solid size 12 right now, XL top, depending on the style... I do feel like that is pretty close to "normal-ish" but it still doesn't seem real.... :-)

Dating is new to me also and my head has not catched up to the rest of me either. I am now 20 lbs lighter than my roommate and I still look at her and still think she is smaller than me. One night I went to dinner with her and one of her friends who is bigger than my roommate- and I must admit when we were out I felt good because for the first time in my life I was the smallest one in the group.

I am having a hard time dealing wiht the fact that I feel like now I can choose the guy I'm interested in. Men have been very responsive to the new me- which is so weird! One guy I have been seeing tells me he loves how 'tiny" I am . ME?? Granted he is 6ft 2 and I have a small frame and I'm only 5ft 1- but when he say's that I wanna turn around to see who he is talking to. I'v been meeting guy's on a online dating sight- they can see my pictures- and I always mention at some point I'm not stick thin- and they always answer that's why they like me and they don't like stick thin girls.

I'm getting a lot of attention too... a lot more than I'm used to, and I am focusing on being smart and tying to make good choices, understand my own head and all... this is SUCH a process in SO many ways...   :-)

I'm happily married and I'm having a helluva time with seeing the new image of me. I guess time will help? Hopefully it starts sooner rather than later...