"Why don't you try diet and exercise?"

It's self obsession. They can't imagine an experience outside of their own. I am a 6' tall male and have 50lbs to loose of the 70lbs I started the journey with.  I lost 20 on presurgery diets.  So I have got this kind of thing from the few people I have told.  They seem to think I should wait until I am bigger and have more problems.  I watched my mother die a horrible death from this, as well as her brother.  (Her Doctors big help was to suggestion was Weigh****chers and she was over 200lbs over weight).    I have battled it for years.   There is an unspoken puritanical view that we are gluttons and should pay for our sins with painful sacrifice  . HOW IGNORANT!   Heredity, metabolism, depression and comorbitity all figure into it.    I am not so shy and I usually answer " DIET AND EXERCISE WHY DID'NT I THINK OF THAT!"    I especially love the people that are overweight that say that crap, but I am kinder to them.   I want to say "How is that working out for you" but I don't.    I get my surgery next Tuesday and can't wait.     If I could have done it on my own I would have years ago. I need help and am not ashamed to ask for it.  That clerk needs to get a new job.  I would complain.

 I think The Buiscut gave a really good answer to this one. This is, of course,  horrible customer service, but I think it also speaks to the prejudices many in our society have about obese people. I don't tell very many people for these same reasons. I have to admit I have been lucky though, and have been suprised with the support from some people. 

Generally speaking that has been my experience. People that I have told have been/ are very supportive. Even today I was talking with another mom at playtime at the gym and she was said, "good for you. very brave. how can I help?" These are the kind of comments I'm used to. Not a lot of naysaying...I do know some who I'm pretty sure think it, but have kept their comments to themselves...but generally people have been very positive.

The funny thing is I was trying to decide if I should just be really public about it and just Facebook it or something. I've told several close friends...so more people probably know anyway. But this just made me more sure that I'll keep it quiet(er****il a later date.

I am very reluctant about whom I tell. I don't volunteer info to anyone outside of my close family and close friends. I post on this site... and this site only, because I don't need any negativity from any outsiders interfering with my decision to go ahead with this surgery.