Counseling for the win! I hope

 Today was my first counseling appointment.  I'm hopeful this will help with things in my new lifestyle and all the changes that come with it.  I figure now that I have the VSG tool, I need to learn how to use other tools too and be mentally in tip top shape to be successful.  I know a lot of the Vets on here always seem to be pumped up and psyched up about loosing weight and eating right all the time and exercising like we are supposed to.  That is awesome if you can do that!  I think a lot of us got in the shape we were in though because we couldn't get motivated like that.  

Some days I have a really hard time.  Other days I am super motivated!  I can't be perfect all the time and I do slip up.  I still am addicted to food.  I still don't know how to cope with things any differently then I did before.  I used to eat to feel better.  Now what am I supposed to do?  These are the things I'm hoping to learn by talking to someone as I make my way down the path that lies before me.

Some of you may remember my post about "A Not So Great Time at Chili's."  It can be found in the search box top right of the screen if you care to read it.  I got some awesome feedback from so many people and it really helped set me straight for a while.

I'm not going to list what I have been eating since I don't want to be scolded here or beat up for my food choices but the last few days I've been hitting about 1300-1400 calories.  Today I am back down around 500.  I want to loose quickly like everyone else I guess but only having 500 calories a day just seems way too extreme to me sometimes.  I can hit almost that much just by having 1 protein shake and 1 protein bar by lunch time.  It just doesn't seem realistic most days.  The only reason I only got 500 today was because I only ate twice with all the running around I did today.

I just have not been in hard core mode like a lot of you lately and I've been wanting to eat a little more and not starve and be miserable all day.   I get hungry, unlike many of you that claim that you no longer feel hunger anymore since surgery.  

So, off to counseling I go.  Hopefully it will help and keep me on track more often.  Did anyone else do counseling post op and find it helpful in dealing with your food addiction?

I am in counselling.  The doc that did my psych evaluation told me I need it because I comfort eat.  So I went, and agreed to coming at least once a month for the first 6 months.  I unfortunatly have not gone since surgery but do have an appointment next week.  

I most of the time don't think 500 is realistic either.  Like you I can get that from 1 or 2 protein shakes, it's hard to get the right amount of protein and stay in those ranges.  Or at least I just don't know how.  I've often wondered if those 500 to 800 calories include protein supplements.  I also get hungry unlike everyone else.  My husband, doesn't.  He gets sick, I don't.  It's very frustrating because 1) he's a guy and loses faster anyways and 2)he is never hungry and I am still obsessing over food.  I do find alot of mine is boredom hunger.  If I am busy, I think about it less and don't notice the hunger as much.  But, working a desk job, it's pretty much all I think about daily.

Good luck to you. 

I go twice a month.  Thankfully I have good insurance and only have to pay a $15 co-pay every time I go.   BEST $30 a month that I spend.   For me it really has played an important part to my success so far.  Partly because I think it makes me accountable to someone twice a month. No I don't get weighed in but I see someone who knows I have had the surgery and somehow keeps me in check.  It is amazing to me how much stuff comes out and up during my sessions.  Even after losing so well I still have so many fears.   I have really come to realize how much how used food to stuff my feelings and not just my face.   Now...lookout world because if you **** me off I'm not eating junk.... I'm telling you off (well not exactly but you know what I mean ! )

 Are you eating a lot of carbs? I was maintaining my weight really well for a long time and started eating more carbs. I justified it because I exercise a lot and it didn't cause me to gain at all. However, what it did do was make me hungry a lot. Once I cut back on the carbs again I wasn't hungry. I had no desire for food while I was losing. I don't know why that was other than I am really good at following orders and my surgeon was really specific on what I can have to eat. I use food for comfort too, and many times I give into my desires. But it really helps if I avoid carbs as much as possible because I don't crave things nearly as much. You should try to write down everything and keep your carbs at 40 grams or below. Also, try Yoga. It is a great stress reliever!

I congraulate you on understanding that counseling is another tool to keep in your kit. While my surgery isn't until next Monday, I have been working with a great counselor for quite awhile and plan to keep seeing her after my surgery.  I think professional emotional support is just as important as the surgery.

Some of the things I have learned through therapy have to do with why I eat and where those issues come from. Many stem from my childhood. I was anorexic in my late teens and early 20's. While some of the medications I take for RA are partially resopnsible for me gaining and keeping weight on, I can't blame it all on the meds.

My counselor also helps me to find other ways to deal with my feelings other than with food. I've found I eat when I'm bored, anxious and/or angry. She helps me to use imagery to calm myself and has helped me to let my creative / artistic side out to express my emotions. I have been able to rekindle my artistic talents that a parent demeaned.

With counseling, I can only say keep and open mind and heart and be honest with yourself. A good counselor won't judge you, just support you and help you to find your true self.

Good luck!

I'm thinking I may need to try counseling as well. It has helped me before, and I have no qualms with admitting I may need it again.

I think it's great that you're thinking about in those terms this early out... many people avoid counselors for years, insisting that they never need them. I think it's a great tool, just like the sleeve in some ways, for those who are willing to use it.

Hey, I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I can sense the frustration and down mood in your post.

I think it's awesome that you are going to start counseling. I've done it before and found it very helpful. I think for guys it's a tough step to take because most of us learn to keep our feelings to ourselves. I have learned over the last 20 years that I do need to speak what I'm thinking. Once voiced,  those sabotaging thoughts  lose their power. I really hope you gain some insight into your thoughts, feelings and behaviors quickly.

I agree with you that 500 calories seems extreme. But so is having 85% of your stomach removed to help you lose weight and get control of your eating. You've already done one extreme thing. Why not go extreme all the way? (Rhetorical question, really - but something to ponder.) At not even 2 months out, are you getting those extra calories from liquids or super soft foods? I can't imagine that your sleeve would allow you to eat that many calories in solids yet.

Motivation comes and goes. Sometimes for me it's a matter of just forcing myself to do what I said I was going to do. Some days I don't want to work out, but I do because I know I have to. My gym week starts on Mondays and I'm committed to going at least 4 days per week, but ideally 5 days. Some days I just don't wanna, but I go anyway and then feel good for doing it.

Coping without food for me means having to feel emotions I don't really like feeling. I'm learning to deal with it. It's not always pretty. I get cranky, a few times I've felt down right angry, I feel super happy sometimes and a few times pretty sad. I am saying outloud (sometimes to the wind) that I'm pissed about something and getting it out. It helps. I know - sounds kind of stupid and touchy feely - but it's working.

I'm not sure what you're doing for protein shakes that are so high in calories. Here's what I do:
Morning:
Protein Coffee - 12 oz decaf, 1 scoop gnc extreme amplified wheybolic chocolate protein, 1/4 cup vanilla almond milk (unsweetened) 107 calories, 20gr potein, 3 carbs

Post Work Out:
Chocolate Shake - 1 scoop gnc extreme amplified wheybolic chocolate protein, 1 cup almond milk.
132 calories, 20 gr protein, 4 carbs

Those two protein drinks really help me meet my protein goals and are low cal / low carb compared to most RTDs.

Wishing you the best on your journey!

I plan to get back into counseling.  I know I need it.

Many of us have emotional issues that got us to the weight we were.  We have to try to resolve those issues in order to move forward in the wellness journey.

My issue is... I have always used weight to make myself feel safe.  I know it is not logical, but deep in my brain, I subconsciously think weight equals safety.  If I have weight, I will be safe.  Safe from men.  Safe from being sexually abused.  Yeah, there is my issue... childhood sexual abuse... and using weight all my life to bring a false sense of security.

This new journey will bring forth better health... and finally the emotional healing that I need.  I know seeing a therapist is an essential step.