i talk to myself...
good morning everyone,
i just wanted to share a non-food/exercise tool i've picked up that is helping me on my journey. if you're like me and have had pretty extreme reactions to failure in the past, then you've given up the first time the scale stopped moving or you didn't reach a goal as fast as you had hoped or when the initial high was over and you were left with the reality of a long-term commitment (no longer a theory you could live with but a reality too painful and overwhelming to accept). i am so adept at over romanitising the experience - setting unrealistic projections - never preparing for any type of setback or slow down. i almost always start strong with a good diet and exercise plan - but inevitably my spirit is crushed when i fail (even if the failure isn't real - but just anticipated).
i've seen this scenario played out in my life so many times it was one of my concerns going into this WLS process. my prayer has been for a renewed attitude - for a truly changed mindset about myself, my relationship with God, my relationship with others AND my relationship with food and exercise. i'm convinced God is doing His part in all of this - i know it's not my drive alone getting me up every morning (even in the rain :-) to walk. but I had to learn to help myself out of some of this sick thinking...
so i talk to myself... everyday... throughout the day... i don't say generic things like - you're doing great! keep up the good work! stay the course - you're almost there! i talk to myself the way i would encourage a friend - i find specific accomplishments like - wow margaret, this is the first time in a long time you were able to walk 5 miles!! your commitment to your program is paying off and you're going to end up reaching your goals because you won't quit! when i miss the mark I talk to myself about why i did what i did and devise a plan (between me, myself and i) to overcome and keep moving. and then i recognize myself for not quitting - for not following past behavior - for being brave and willing to do something i've never done before by moving forward even in the guilt and the disappointment. i no longer focus on the scale or the measuring tape as markers of my success - but i'm learning to recognize the inner accomplishments that produced the outer results.
i've found that i am so much more tolerant of others than i am of myself. it's easy for me to believe the best in them, to see their potential and to encourage their success. i've realized part of my life was out of balance because I couldn't exercise this say kind of kindness and compassion and empathy with myself. so food became a substatute for what i could not provide - the reassurance, the comfort, the support, the compassion, etc.
it was a little weird at first to not only let the words come out of my mouth, but for my ears to hear it. but all i can tell you is, i have moved further in this journey than i ever had on any other attempt to get myself healthy. i feel better physically and i feel better about myself in general. i feel like i'm meeting myself for the first time - and guess what? i'm a pretty kewl chick! lol
i am still new to this different way of thinking and operating, but i believe it's the key to my long-term success. i just wanted to share this and hope that it will help someone else coming from a similar background.
take care and be good to yourself...
i just wanted to share a non-food/exercise tool i've picked up that is helping me on my journey. if you're like me and have had pretty extreme reactions to failure in the past, then you've given up the first time the scale stopped moving or you didn't reach a goal as fast as you had hoped or when the initial high was over and you were left with the reality of a long-term commitment (no longer a theory you could live with but a reality too painful and overwhelming to accept). i am so adept at over romanitising the experience - setting unrealistic projections - never preparing for any type of setback or slow down. i almost always start strong with a good diet and exercise plan - but inevitably my spirit is crushed when i fail (even if the failure isn't real - but just anticipated).
i've seen this scenario played out in my life so many times it was one of my concerns going into this WLS process. my prayer has been for a renewed attitude - for a truly changed mindset about myself, my relationship with God, my relationship with others AND my relationship with food and exercise. i'm convinced God is doing His part in all of this - i know it's not my drive alone getting me up every morning (even in the rain :-) to walk. but I had to learn to help myself out of some of this sick thinking...
so i talk to myself... everyday... throughout the day... i don't say generic things like - you're doing great! keep up the good work! stay the course - you're almost there! i talk to myself the way i would encourage a friend - i find specific accomplishments like - wow margaret, this is the first time in a long time you were able to walk 5 miles!! your commitment to your program is paying off and you're going to end up reaching your goals because you won't quit! when i miss the mark I talk to myself about why i did what i did and devise a plan (between me, myself and i) to overcome and keep moving. and then i recognize myself for not quitting - for not following past behavior - for being brave and willing to do something i've never done before by moving forward even in the guilt and the disappointment. i no longer focus on the scale or the measuring tape as markers of my success - but i'm learning to recognize the inner accomplishments that produced the outer results.
i've found that i am so much more tolerant of others than i am of myself. it's easy for me to believe the best in them, to see their potential and to encourage their success. i've realized part of my life was out of balance because I couldn't exercise this say kind of kindness and compassion and empathy with myself. so food became a substatute for what i could not provide - the reassurance, the comfort, the support, the compassion, etc.
it was a little weird at first to not only let the words come out of my mouth, but for my ears to hear it. but all i can tell you is, i have moved further in this journey than i ever had on any other attempt to get myself healthy. i feel better physically and i feel better about myself in general. i feel like i'm meeting myself for the first time - and guess what? i'm a pretty kewl chick! lol
i am still new to this different way of thinking and operating, but i believe it's the key to my long-term success. i just wanted to share this and hope that it will help someone else coming from a similar background.
take care and be good to yourself...
Thank you for sharing, Margaret! You're replacing those old tapes with new positive ones. Way to go!
Janet
Janet
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. Erma Bombeck
Surgery Date: 5/10/12 Ht: 5'2" Age: 55
Surgery Date: 5/10/12 Ht: 5'2" Age: 55
YES! I dont even notice it often, unless I turn and see my daughter giving me the "you're talking to yourself again" look. There is something to hearing the words I need to hear, and knowing that they came out of my mouth. Being kind to myself has been the most challenging thing, but well worth it.
HW: 351 SW: 344.5 5'10" 
Negative self talk can have SUCH bad consequences, good for you for find a way to get away from that and finding a positive way to "talk yourself up" instead of down. I know sometimes the mind games I play with myself are harder then they actual exercise and food issues I have!
Keep talking to yourself, you are doing great!
Keep talking to yourself, you are doing great!
Courtney - Lap band to VSG revision
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