I cannot punish my way into being a normal eater...

 Amen. Here's to an acceptance and love of our imperfections! Acceptace and forgiveness does not = enablement!

Hear hear! NOTHING = not a fight with a friend,not a bad day,not PMS,NOTHING = enablement!

I always love your posts and find important reminders in them.  To be honest, what I find most appealing about your posts is your passion and commitment to working on the head issues.  I love your analytical nature and hard won knowledge of your inner-self.  Thank you for posting.

I applaud you Happy and love your points of view!! We can all relate to some degree and I know that I surely can. I refuse, also, to beat myself into submission if I make a mistake. I look at what may have contributed to why I did what I did and then try to ensure I don't let it happen again.  Not a perfect way to do things but if I were perfect I wouldn't be overweight to begin with. Thanks! 

Thank you so much for this post. Being a newbie, it really helps me understand what I have to look forward to, or not so much look forward to. Your posts are always incredibly helpful and insightful. Thank you!

happy,I am told I lost a twin at birth...are you her? LOL but seriously...this post is so me also.

WOW!! Thank you for sharing this AMAZINGLY powerful post! I am a newbie still waiting for surgery date and thi****s me right at home! I understand this or maybe I don't yet, but it is very true to my life also and I know this. So thank you again

I just wanted to say this is one of the BEST posts I have EVER read! I may feel that way because I feel like you have described my habits exactly. I have not been perfect either, however, I have not eaten any rice, bread (sans some breadcrumbs in meatballs), pasta, nachos with steak (one of my fave meals pre-surgery) or icecream since the surgery. If I open the door to those foods again I know it will be almost impossible for me to close the door on those flood gates again. I would rather go without than, risk everything I have accomplished so far. I have even thought of trying something as a substitute for icecream (Ben and Jerry's makes a frozen greek yogurt) but. that is still a slippery slope for me....so I drooled and looked at all the flavors but I did not succumb to the temptation. We have decisions based on food everyday and sometimes we do not make the right ones.

Thank you for this post! It is now bookmarked.

 Dear Happy,

Others have already stated most of what I feel when reading this or any of your posts. By opening up the way you do and sharing your struggles and imperfections, you help me to better understand myself. You are doing an incredible job as you march along on this journey and I am sure you will have complete (although imperfect) success.

Judy

 Fantastic post Happy.  I love the fence around your food.  Years ago, when I first joined OA, I visualized a hula hoop on the ground at my feet. Everything inside the hoop was my responsibility.  Everything outside th hoop was none of my business.  I had the choice whether to allow things in or not.  I decided to become a vegan at that point.  For nine years I ate only vegan foods. I never took a bite of sugar and rarely had anything with flour.  That was my boundary around my food and I never had to think twice about a food if it wasn't vegan, or if sugar was listed in the  first six ingredients of a food I did not eat it.  No questions, easy because I just didn't do it.  During the  9th year I went to Italy. It was my first European trip and I didn't want to stymy my experience.   That first bite of sugar after 9 years was 
like sounding the starting bell at the horse races.  I was off and running.  Once that gate opened, I had endless struggles to try to close it again.  It was so not worth my peace of mind and pride in myself to have that two week party in my mouth.

What you are doing with your "fence" is incredible work.  You truly are building a foundation on which to live the rest of your life.  Understand where your boundaries need to be and you'll be golden.

Bravo for your willingness to do this for yourself.  I think I will spend some time thinking about my own fences.  Thank you!