From the perspective of our children...

I had an interesting talk with my 16 year old daughter. I was asking her what she is thinking about me having this surgery. Her thought was that I would go through all of this and still not be happy. I think this is very insightful of her. It makes perfect sense that she would feel that way. In her eyes, she won't believe it until she sees it. She has watched me over the years try countless ways to lose weight....having hope only to end up even heavier when it wouldn't work. She's one of those kids that has always noticed everything. She is sceptical and can't imagine removing part of an organ will make any more of a difference than anything else I have tried. After explaining more of the technical details about the surgery I think she sees more of why I am taking this leap, but I think it won't be until she sees the new me emerge in front of her eyes that she will believe.

My daughter's reaction makes me even more sure that I am making the right choice. I need my kids to see that you can't give up when something in your life isn't working. They need to see that action can make a difference. They don't have to settle and living your dreams is possible.

Is she saying it won't make you HAPPY or it won't make you lose weight because all of the reasons you gave are related to losing weight. You will find, as many of us do, that just because you lose weight it doesn't automatically mean happiness. Sometimes it can actually bring about more depression and extreme emotions because you can no longer hide behind the one thing you could always run to. That **** will hit you like a ton of bricks and a lot of times we don't even realize how much we really depended on food emotionally until it's no longer an option.

I kind of think she meant it in an even deeper way than you took it. "Fixing this is not going to bring you inner happiness. You're only changing the outside."

I think it is a little both. I ask her if she is excited about the idea of actually being able to shop together (something she has always said she wanted), maybe even in the same store. She said that would be great....IF it happens. She's never seen me thin but she has seen me struggle with my weight and with depression. Even though our kids won't always say it, they want and need us to be happy. The whole surgery thing is scary to her....kind of freaking her out.

I'm bracing myself for the emotion side effects of this surgery. That part scares me much more than the physcial issues. I don't want my family to suffer because of my choices. My main motivation is health. I want to be healthy....right now I'm not. I'm not expecting this surgery to solve all of my problems. I'm hoping it will be a catalyst  for change. I figure getting my health back is a good place to start. The rest...I will just take it one day at a time.

 It sounds like you have a good way of thinking about it.  My concern too when first reading your post was that it won't necessarily make you happy or cure your depression issues.  There are lots of people that are skinny and have mental illness.  They say money can't buy happiness .. though I sure would like to find out!  I think that this surgery sure can help with improving happiness, but years down the road, I can only imagine when the newness wears off, you've been at goal for a long time (or close to it) and its your new "normal" .. it may not be as exciting and cool anymore and you will have to find happiness from other means.

For now though, I'll take the "happy" as my life changes for the better.  Like you, later on .. I'll take it one day at a time.

Thanks Kevin for your insight. I'm really trying to keep it all in perspective. I've been looking at where I am right now and what got me here. I think I'm mosty guilty of just not paying attention to myself and living in denial of exactly how my weight affects so many aspects of my life. It's like I have moved forward to a point and can't keep moving forward further with my weight holding me back. My weight is just plain in the way! At some point you just have to take the leap and hope for the best.