Ok, starting to have a REALLY hard time eating in front of coworkers
I chose not to tell coworkers about my surgery, but found out that my boss outed me at a management meeting by asking if anyone had heard from me since I had my surgery. He knew I wanted to keep it confidential, he's just a bit of an airhead. Anyway, we have a dining room where everyone eats and our food is free. I stopped going to the dining room and bringing my lunch. I heard that everyone was asking where I was, so I told my assistant to tell them I was bringing my lunch and trying to lose some weight. After about 2 months I started eating in the dining room and a few would comment on how little I was eating. I just ignored them. I didn't respond to them at all. I would just smile. Now, no one says a word about my lunch. I don't think it deserves a response when people comment on how little you eat, or how much you eat. I would never tell someone "Oh my, look how much you are eating!" I don't feel they should comment on how little I am eating. I have said that I'm trying to lose weight and have given up bread, flour and sugar, and eating more protein and it's working for me.
VSG 4-2-12
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VSG 4-2-12
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She is just jealous that you have lost all this weight. I also decided not to tell everyone at work even many friends. They all know I am working with a dietitian and a nutritionist and on a high protein low carb diet so it became a non issue when I eat with them. If someone commented on what or how I eat during a social function I would say... Well this is... My new eating habits are how I was able to lose all this weight and I feel better now than I have ever felt in my life... YOU SHOULD TRY IT...
All of you have some really great input-
Donna, love the comment of eating for health reasons and trying to keep it low key- that is a perfect fit for me. Not sure if it will work, but I am going to try it
Ruggie, coming from you about coming out about this is very real and I respect your stance on this. I just can't. Maybe I will be at a point somewhere down the line, but for now I don't feel like it is an option. I have a boss that is openly discriminatory, and I am regularly having to combat his issues on this with my health concerns. The only thing completly saving my rear on this is that I knock student achievement out of the park at such an unusually high rate that there is absolutely no doubt that I am the most effective teacher in the building, medical leave or not. I work very hard at keeping fuel out of the fire so to speak, because the second this guy learns ANYTHING about personal issues, it is held against you.
Pokerface, I agree that I may just need to lay her out for it. I am just trying to come up with something more tactful before I get to that point. And I am very, very skilled at taking somebody down so the issue of confrontation doesn't phase me- it is just never my chosen path unless it absolutely cannot be avoided.
Losin it- she is a little heavy, and this I do believe where some of this is coming from. When she does the commenting, it is never never intended to make me feel bad in anyway and most always related back to herself.
In general, I am very careful to not lie. I have been instructed via the cancer doctors to eliminate weight, high protein, etc. and it is mostly identical to what the weight loss group wants me to do. The exception is not skipping carbs, fiber, fruits, and veggies. Thus, when I go over what I am eating I do not mind being specific and patient in those conversations. I think those are legitimately geared toward interest and in general others wanting to learn some strategies on how to help their own situation.
I don't know. Maybe one day I will finally be ready to let others know. Back at the beginning I swore I would not reveal how much I lost, but I am well past that now.
Ya'll have given me a lot to think about- thank you
Donna, love the comment of eating for health reasons and trying to keep it low key- that is a perfect fit for me. Not sure if it will work, but I am going to try it
Ruggie, coming from you about coming out about this is very real and I respect your stance on this. I just can't. Maybe I will be at a point somewhere down the line, but for now I don't feel like it is an option. I have a boss that is openly discriminatory, and I am regularly having to combat his issues on this with my health concerns. The only thing completly saving my rear on this is that I knock student achievement out of the park at such an unusually high rate that there is absolutely no doubt that I am the most effective teacher in the building, medical leave or not. I work very hard at keeping fuel out of the fire so to speak, because the second this guy learns ANYTHING about personal issues, it is held against you.
Pokerface, I agree that I may just need to lay her out for it. I am just trying to come up with something more tactful before I get to that point. And I am very, very skilled at taking somebody down so the issue of confrontation doesn't phase me- it is just never my chosen path unless it absolutely cannot be avoided.
Losin it- she is a little heavy, and this I do believe where some of this is coming from. When she does the commenting, it is never never intended to make me feel bad in anyway and most always related back to herself.
In general, I am very careful to not lie. I have been instructed via the cancer doctors to eliminate weight, high protein, etc. and it is mostly identical to what the weight loss group wants me to do. The exception is not skipping carbs, fiber, fruits, and veggies. Thus, when I go over what I am eating I do not mind being specific and patient in those conversations. I think those are legitimately geared toward interest and in general others wanting to learn some strategies on how to help their own situation.
I don't know. Maybe one day I will finally be ready to let others know. Back at the beginning I swore I would not reveal how much I lost, but I am well past that now.
Ya'll have given me a lot to think about- thank you
Surgeon: Chengelis Surgery on 12/19/2011 A little less carb eating compared to my weight loss phase loose sleever here!
1Mo: -21 2Mo: -16 3Mo: -12 4MO - 13 5MO: -11 6MO: -10 7MO: -10.3 8MO: -6 Goal in 8 months 4 days!! 6' 2'' EWL 103% Starting size 28 or 4x (tight) now size 12 or large, shoe size 12 w to 10.5 150+ pounds lost
Join the Instant Pot Pressure Cooker group for recipes and tips! Click here to join!
HappyTeacher,
After reading all of your responses, I think your coworkers are concerned as well as curious. I know I would be on heightened alert if I saw one of my coworkers with a known health issue to also loose a lot of weight in a short period of time. I think you can use the reply that your doctors want you to eliminate the excess weight, and the way you eat is part of the plan, not a result of health issues. Maybe you can tell Ms. Curious/Concerned that if she is interested for her own health, you would be willing to talk to her on a personal level.
Good luck,
Janet
After reading all of your responses, I think your coworkers are concerned as well as curious. I know I would be on heightened alert if I saw one of my coworkers with a known health issue to also loose a lot of weight in a short period of time. I think you can use the reply that your doctors want you to eliminate the excess weight, and the way you eat is part of the plan, not a result of health issues. Maybe you can tell Ms. Curious/Concerned that if she is interested for her own health, you would be willing to talk to her on a personal level.
Good luck,
Janet
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. Erma Bombeck
Surgery Date: 5/10/12 Ht: 5'2" Age: 55
Surgery Date: 5/10/12 Ht: 5'2" Age: 55
Happy,
I totally get your situation. My department is in a government agency where being "out" with certain things is a sure fire way to NEVER get promoted. I would always be that WLS lady. My surroundings are not as professional and I had co-workers in the past at other organizations that I would've told but thic group here....heck no. None of them are heavy, they are nosy and backstabbing. I am not friends with any of them. I'm seeking a way out but I'm happy to be employed.
Like the last poster said I would tie your eating in with your doctors orders. I would get a pamphlet about workplace harassment and place it in front of her. Ask her if she knows what the ramifications are if this is in her record. You should not feel forced to share intimate details at work with co-workers.
I totally get your situation. My department is in a government agency where being "out" with certain things is a sure fire way to NEVER get promoted. I would always be that WLS lady. My surroundings are not as professional and I had co-workers in the past at other organizations that I would've told but thic group here....heck no. None of them are heavy, they are nosy and backstabbing. I am not friends with any of them. I'm seeking a way out but I'm happy to be employed.
Like the last poster said I would tie your eating in with your doctors orders. I would get a pamphlet about workplace harassment and place it in front of her. Ask her if she knows what the ramifications are if this is in her record. You should not feel forced to share intimate details at work with co-workers.
VSG 6/10/2011 Dr. Ann Lidor BMore MD 5'5 HW-247 SW-233 GW-145 CW-120
http://www.youtube.com/user/72Crabadams Me rambling about my journey : )
http://www.youtube.com/user/72Crabadams Me rambling about my journey : )
I have already openly discussed that I am doing this for health reasons, and that I even work with the weightloss clinic at Beaumont- I just stop short of discussing the surgery. My standard reply when asked how I lost all the weight is
" a combination of surgery, high protein carefully managed diet, exercise, and side effects... probably in the order" I just never elaborate on surgery details and if pressed reply "it was fairly involved and not for sissys" and this is delivered in a manner that makes it clear that it is not open to discussion. That has worked great to stop the overly curious people on the weight loss. I just need something like that for the lunchroom issue.
" a combination of surgery, high protein carefully managed diet, exercise, and side effects... probably in the order" I just never elaborate on surgery details and if pressed reply "it was fairly involved and not for sissys" and this is delivered in a manner that makes it clear that it is not open to discussion. That has worked great to stop the overly curious people on the weight loss. I just need something like that for the lunchroom issue.
Surgeon: Chengelis Surgery on 12/19/2011 A little less carb eating compared to my weight loss phase loose sleever here!
1Mo: -21 2Mo: -16 3Mo: -12 4MO - 13 5MO: -11 6MO: -10 7MO: -10.3 8MO: -6 Goal in 8 months 4 days!! 6' 2'' EWL 103% Starting size 28 or 4x (tight) now size 12 or large, shoe size 12 w to 10.5 150+ pounds lost
Join the Instant Pot Pressure Cooker group for recipes and tips! Click here to join!
Hi there-
I think your standard reply is why she keeps pressing you. You say, "a combination of SURGERY..." so I think that has her ears perked up. If someone said that to me-that sounds like a form of wls. So it sounds like-in a way-she thinks you've already had wls. (Unless she thinks "surgery" refers to cancer treatment).
I am a teacher, too, and I think the same thing would happen when I eat lunch. When I do have surgery, I will probably tell people. I don't want to discuss it beforehand because I don't want to hear everyone's reasons for me NOT to have it. But once I've had it-I'm fine with them knowing.
As for your boss (principal?), don't you think that he would be less likely to be on your butt if he knew that your weight loss was a result of wls (instead of illness)?
If you do decide to tell the person who keeps bugging you-I would get her alone and explain that you had wls and then say, "I'm really self-conscious when I eat around others and I'm always worried that people will comment on how little I eat." You are not specifically saying it's HER who is doing it-but you are making her aware that it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Hugs,
Pam :)
I think your standard reply is why she keeps pressing you. You say, "a combination of SURGERY..." so I think that has her ears perked up. If someone said that to me-that sounds like a form of wls. So it sounds like-in a way-she thinks you've already had wls. (Unless she thinks "surgery" refers to cancer treatment).
I am a teacher, too, and I think the same thing would happen when I eat lunch. When I do have surgery, I will probably tell people. I don't want to discuss it beforehand because I don't want to hear everyone's reasons for me NOT to have it. But once I've had it-I'm fine with them knowing.
As for your boss (principal?), don't you think that he would be less likely to be on your butt if he knew that your weight loss was a result of wls (instead of illness)?
If you do decide to tell the person who keeps bugging you-I would get her alone and explain that you had wls and then say, "I'm really self-conscious when I eat around others and I'm always worried that people will comment on how little I eat." You are not specifically saying it's HER who is doing it-but you are making her aware that it makes you feel uncomfortable.
Hugs,
Pam :)
"B" bears' mama from Texas
Follow my journey on youtube: "bbearsmama"
SW: 210 CW: 123.6
Those that want you to "come out", I agree with them to a point. It really would be easier but can you handle their talk or criticism or judgment? If not, you're okay to keep it to yourself as long as you need to.
My surgery is still a secret. It is because I'm still feeling shame of ever needing it in the first place, don't feel up to being taunted by naturally thin family/friends. I don't really want my weight, food choices, clothing size, to be a topic of conversation. I guess it is anyway because people are commenting on how good I'm looking but I just say thank you and let the awkward silence sit there. It's as if people want an explanation but aren't asking specific questions.
I always knew that certain people monitored my weight and I felt harshly judged by them. The same people look me up and down and are CONSTANTLY commenting on my size being so small (in comparison) now. It annoys me that my size is such a monumental thing to them, why do they care!? One of my biggest supporters in life now makes little comments or noises about my food choice or the weight I've lost and it hurts my feelings but I know it's probably because she's so heavy and hasn't had success losing. It's a jealousy thing. When I go out to eat with her I order a normal thing I would have pre-op, eat the protein part of it and box the rest up to give to my kids. Then she doesn't have as much to say as when I was special ordering a no carb, extremely small portion. I also try not to spend as much time with her because she's not good for my psyche or food choices. She's a food addict.
In general I just tell people that I had a big lunch so I'm not that hungry or that I just drank a ton of water. I don't like people commenting on my food choices or amounts so i'd rather just avoid it altogether.
Sorry you have a food monitor in your life! :/
My surgery is still a secret. It is because I'm still feeling shame of ever needing it in the first place, don't feel up to being taunted by naturally thin family/friends. I don't really want my weight, food choices, clothing size, to be a topic of conversation. I guess it is anyway because people are commenting on how good I'm looking but I just say thank you and let the awkward silence sit there. It's as if people want an explanation but aren't asking specific questions.
I always knew that certain people monitored my weight and I felt harshly judged by them. The same people look me up and down and are CONSTANTLY commenting on my size being so small (in comparison) now. It annoys me that my size is such a monumental thing to them, why do they care!? One of my biggest supporters in life now makes little comments or noises about my food choice or the weight I've lost and it hurts my feelings but I know it's probably because she's so heavy and hasn't had success losing. It's a jealousy thing. When I go out to eat with her I order a normal thing I would have pre-op, eat the protein part of it and box the rest up to give to my kids. Then she doesn't have as much to say as when I was special ordering a no carb, extremely small portion. I also try not to spend as much time with her because she's not good for my psyche or food choices. She's a food addict.
In general I just tell people that I had a big lunch so I'm not that hungry or that I just drank a ton of water. I don't like people commenting on my food choices or amounts so i'd rather just avoid it altogether.
Sorry you have a food monitor in your life! :/
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