What I've learned about struggling (so far)...
Hi Ann, I wish that I could wash away your shame. We all got to the operating table honestly. We all heal at our own speed, as we are ready to face the next question and see what insight it might bring into our process.
My story is that the more I give into carbs, the more I crave them. It's a very ugly cycle. When you're ready and have support, you will find a way to push the carbs away, one meal/hour at a time. After a few days without them, you won't believe the mental/physical relief you get.
Hugs hugs hugs!
My story is that the more I give into carbs, the more I crave them. It's a very ugly cycle. When you're ready and have support, you will find a way to push the carbs away, one meal/hour at a time. After a few days without them, you won't believe the mental/physical relief you get.
Hugs hugs hugs!
HW: 249 SW: 229 GW: 149 Age: 63 - Body by Sauceda - 12/2011
Well said and ditto! I just remember that there are those who die waiting to get this life saving procedure. I one of the blessed ones that survived and now live a more healthy prosperous life. After that, with no complications, how can you complain?
Keep up the good work!
Keep up the good work!
HW: 550+ SW: 502 CW: 342.4 SDt: 9/20/11
"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."--Philippians 4:13, KJV
Thank you, you're very kind. Listen, I think I do pretty good at this - I'm persistent - I know myself pretty well - I understand my food behaviors better than some. But I have relapsed into long periods of uncontrolled compulsive overeating at least 3 times since my 20s when I started this journey into recovery (or whatever you want to call it). I don't ever feel "safe". Am I a failure? No way! But I do not underestimate how persistent and patient this food addiction is. I have to be willing to ask for help and recognize that, left to my own devices, my thinking *will be* distorted about the actual food I put in my actual mouth. I mean, that's just me!
:) Happy
53 yrs old, 5'6" HW: 293 ConsW: 273 SW: 263 CW: 206 
Great post Happy, as usual! I definitely relate to the struggle, as many have voiced. When I started this journey, I knew WLS wouldn't be the magic bullet, though of course I secretly hoped it would be! LOL But as you point out, along with the struggle comes the opportunity to learn more about myself. In the past, when I struggled, it was so much more common to give into the 'if I eat X, I'll feel better' syndrome. On those rare occasions that I got through the struggle without eating, I did glean a little about what was happening, but because it was only once in awhile, it didn't sustain me. Now, I am learning a lot. I know that if I don't eat when struggling, I won't die from the feelings, and I eventually am able to look at the situation that is stressing me, if I was able to ID it, and get some insight into my part in it and try to correct my behavior in the future. I know that when I'm too tired, too hungry, or otherwise out of sorts, I am more prone to want to eat. I haven't always acted in the right way to rectify those things - I still stay up too late some nights, wait too long to eat, etc., but have more awareness of why the demon is calling my name. I know that over time, the struggles have been happening more often than they did during my pink cloud days of the 1st few months after surgery, but the good news is I'm starting to be able to better handle those struggles than I did before WLS. Is is always easy and do I always respond in the perfect way? Heck no! But I am learning and making progress one day at a time.
HW (recorded) 323 Start of Journey 298.9 SW 263.6 CW 177.8 GW 180
I used to feel like it was all or nothing - I was a failure if I didn't do it just perfectly, so I'd give up. Not just with food, but other things as well. I'm slowly realizing that if I continue striving toward what I need to do, it is enough, and best of all, I'm still okay. I don't have to be perfect - not with my program, not with anything. Over the past year, I have been simplifying my life and letting go of a lot, which in turn has made some of the struggles much easier to deal with, and has helped to avoid many struggles in the first place.
HW (recorded) 323 Start of Journey 298.9 SW 263.6 CW 177.8 GW 180
I also struggle with the food demon (monkey) that likes to ride on my back. I am learning how to deal with it on a day to day basis. I think this is how it is going to be for me for a long time to come if not forever!
I really like the thought that when they rear their heads that there is something to learn. I just went throught that last week when a dear friend passsed away and the first thing I wanted to do was eat. I did learn to wait and talk myself through it without giving in to the demon monkey!
Thanks for the thoughtful post as usual Happy!
I really like the thought that when they rear their heads that there is something to learn. I just went throught that last week when a dear friend passsed away and the first thing I wanted to do was eat. I did learn to wait and talk myself through it without giving in to the demon monkey!
Thanks for the thoughtful post as usual Happy!
"Encourage instead of criticize. Love instead of hate. Hope instead of doubt. Give instead of take. Trust instead of worry. We open our hearts to others so that they will be prompted to open their hearts to God" Lucy Swindoll
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