Cheating vs. Choosing, there's a big difference.

Tonight I have been reading through the posts and one word keeps jumping out at me.  I want to talk to you about this word and maybe start a conversation about what it really means.  The word is "cheating". 

I want to honestly tell you that I don't cheat.  I don't cheat in any aspect of my life, not in my marriage, not on tests, not on my taxes, not in my eating.  I don't cheat not because of some special moral superiority or strength of character.  It also has very little to do with my will power, or strength of character.  I don't cheat because I am highly aware of what cheating brings into my life.  For me, cheating brings anxiety, and a sense that something is out of whack in my world; it makes me feel slightly dirty and disconnected from my happy place.  Cheating moves me further away from who I really am and further away from my goals, values, aspirations, and truths about myself.  I don't cheat not because of other people, I don't cheat because it hurts me. 

Now, making food choices that are off plan is not the same thing as cheating to me.  Making choices has everything to do with staying fully conscious, owning my power, choosing my direction and following my head.  I want to say this again, if you eat a piece of cake and try to hide the evidence from others and from yourself, that is cheating, if you for whatever reason have decided that this particular piece of cake is worthy of you going off of your plan, or somehow it fits into your plan, that is choosing and not cheating.  The big difference here is that one comes loaded with calories and shame, and the other just has calories.  Calories are easy to deal with, simply reduce the calories in  your next meal or work them off through exercise.  Shame is what unravels us.  You don't have to cheat ever again.  Own your power, make choices, don't allow shame into your life.

Another excellent post.  Thank you Elina. 

 Well said....again! xo

Thank you. THAT is what I've been trying to say all freaking week. LOL.

Amen!

 I was just reading Everyday Paleo, which I bought because it has lots of high protein recipes.   It has the following description:  "...I once again want you to reframe your your way of thinking.  If you think of it as cheating, you are more likely to also experience all those awful feelings associated with the word cheating.  When I think about cheating, I think about betrayal or letting someone down, and when it comes to food and cheating, you are letting yourself down...every now and then I eat off plan because I want to, not because I am cheating.  I make the conscious decision to do so."

Elina, seriously, you need to write a book.  You are so dead on with what you said.  Thank you for sharing your wisdom  

Succinct and Brilliant!  Well said, and not surprising, I'm in 100% agreement here!

What we put in our mouths is all about choices. Whether they be wise and further our efforts towards health, or unwise and detrimental to our commitment to health, it is completely up to us.

I do not cheat either. I make choices. I'm learning still what my choices cost me - physically, emotionally, and weight wise. I own what I eat. I figure that is the only way I will be successful in the long run.

Yesterday, I went "off plan". But my "off plan" choice had been planned for an entire week. I went to a specific dog show that always has are you ready??????? Ice cream on a stick! It's the best and it's all homemade and it was worth every one of those extra calories. Several of my friends looked at me like I had lost my mind, but I knew exactly what I was doing. I had no guilt and after my carby-sugar choice I got right back to clean eating with my next meal.

Shame is the Devil and is one of the things that kept me fat for too many years.

 Great post!! I have also been trying to say the same thing. I CHOOSE to go off plan at times. Having this attitude helps one to retain their power, accountability, and self- responsibility. I was saying the same thing at a support group meeting about a week ago. Cheating only hurts the person and gives away one's power. I never feel deprived, because I CHOOSE to eat or not eat something. It is my choice.  Having this attitude helps me to be in control and to retain my power.


gail

 Great post as always.  Thanks!!