Am I wrong for showing off my success??

Seems to me that about the only thing, except maybe time and understanding, that will  make her feel better is if you gain your weight back.  How far are you willing to go to keep peace in your family?  You are the MOST important person in this scenario.  Like some of the others  have said maybe do none food or clothing related activities, but don't ever stop feeling pride in what you have accomplished and don't let anyone rain on your parade!

 

Alice

Most of my facebook friends do not know about my WLS.  I do post a lot of pictures.  I don't comment much but weight loss my mostly post a lot of pictures.  I talk a lot about my work outs and the gym and my training with my personal trainer.  My friends do comment about my weight loss progress.

 

 

Ditto above, be proud of yourself but be considerate of others. Try to find a happy medium~

The way I look at it is that I have had to deal with people being thinner than me my ENTIRE LIFE!!!!  YOU FLAUNT IT SISTER!!!!  YOU DESERVE IT!!!!  I can"t wait to lose my weight.  I"m sick of being the biggest person in the room.  Even at my work, one of the girls said to me" I better go on a diet if your having surgery.  I don't want to be the fatest one that works here!!!"  Thanks alot, now I really can't wait to be thinner than her!

Wow! I've heard that this happens after wls (I'm pre-op). To answer your question-NO-you are NOT wrong for showing off your success! You should be proud of yourself and what's wrong with posting pictures of yourself? Everyone posts pictures of themselves on their social networking site-it doesn't mean you are bragging.  It sounds like your sister-in-law was used to being "the skinny one" of the the two and she is very threatened by that. That is her problem not yours. I wouldn't say anything to her because you can't control her reaction. Just give her time and maybe she will come around. It is normal for you to have new friends who are a part of your journey. She needs to be mature and understand that.

 

Pam :)

Don't worry about others. Your journey is about you. You haven't done anything wrong here. This is something she has to work through. I say continue to reach out with invites to hang out, and if she doesn't take you up on it then it's her loss.

This reminds me a lot of my family. My dad is a noncompliant diabetic, my mom is ignoring her diabetes altogether, and my sister is a recovering heroin addict who is now dependant on methadone. They recently tried to convince me to stop running because they were supposedly concerned about the health risks of running. Oh the irony.

I have a slightly different take on this issue.

I didn't tell very many people. I only posted pictures on FB with the normal stuff - vacations, parties, Christmas - the same stuff I always posted. I also don't spend a lot of time on FB.

I chose to let my weightloss speak for itself. If people notice, great. If not, great. I went to a movie at 6 months post op with some friends who hadn't seen me and when I went to the bathroom, they asked my sister-in-law if I'd been losing weight. She said, yes. They never said a word to me. I was fine with it.

I've changed in some things. I don't let toxic people in my life. This means that I've cut off communications with my middle brother.

I don't "put it all out there." This was a choice that I have been very happy with.

That said, I am the kind of person that sets boundaries. When a family member or friend cross those boundaries, I will tell them not to do it again. I will also explain to them what I expect from them.

In this case with you brother, I would have told him that it was kind of him to take you aside, but he needs to remember that you are his sister. Blood before *****es. That said. you understand that he has a wife and you've always liked her. You appreciate the support you were given when you started this journey, but you literally can't stop the change that is happening and you don't want to. It is up to your SIL to decide if she wants to get to know the new you. This isn't a competition and if she decided to make it one, you will NOT play. Life is too short and the world is constantly shoving **** in our faces. Family is supposed to support each other. For your part, you will find other things to talk about than food, WLS, etc when she is around.

You can't change other people. You can only change yourself. This might be a good time to check in with yourself and make sure you are representing yourself in a way that puts the best YOU out there. If you are, then this is her problem - so don't take it on as your problem.

I looked at your pictures and you look amazing. You should be proud of you. Don't let anyone take that away.

Relationships/Friendships are going to change regardless if you flaunt your success or not.  I never really considered myself a photo ***** (I still don't like my picture taken) but someone once told me I was going overboard with wanting attention from not only men but women.  **** I haven't been at this weight since I was 21 years old!!!  Excuse me for wanting to celebrate my success, you know?  I am still a firm believer that your true friends will remain your friends thru thick & thin.  I'm sure your sister in law will come around soon.  She just needs time to accept your physical change.  I'm sure she loves you.  If I were you since you still really care about her, just keep trying to rekindle your relationship with her.      

First off CONGRATS!! Second screw her if she cant come talk to you about it then what "friend" is she really! I'm sorry I am damn proud of myself as well and I shout it from the roof tops.  If it bothers them that much they either need to do something about it their self or come and talk to you about it.  They should NOT feel different b/c your losing and they have self esteem issues. I personally would take her a side and talk to her about it, let her know your not judging her and you would be happy to help her in anyway if that's what she would like.  If she family it shouldn't be a issue at all, she should be happy for you 

No, do not stop being yourself. Sounds to me like she is VERY insecure about herself and she is jealous of your success. If your brothers wife has an issue with you she should address it to you as a grown woman. But, she probably won't so if I were you I'd be the bigger woman and sit her down and talk to her face to face. Get it all out. Be respectful of her opinion but tell her that yes, I have made new friends, people who have gone threw what I have gone threw. I do understand what struggles heavy people go threw because I was like that too. 

You are not full of yourself, you have come a long way and some people don't understand until they get the same opportunity. It's easy to be negative and upset with people than it is to be happy for them if you are upset and insecure about yourself. 

Good luck! I hope I haven't offended you either.