Well I'm not sure what's going on with me.  I feel like crap, last few days I have ate like crap and today I planned on going to the gym and don't feel like doing anything.  I don't even want to cook my daughter dinner I JUST WANT TO GO TO BED! This is not like me.  Everything today has plucked my last nerves and if I don't go home and go straight to bed I'm going to bite some ones head right off.  I had a great weekend we had a big cookout for family and friends for my daughter 13 TH Birthday... Maybe its the CARBS thats catching up with me (as I just shoved more carbs in my mouth)

I got to get a grip and fast.  I have been maintaining for weeks now anywhere from 168-170 lbs and its been going well.  I dont and WONT let that slip away.  I have worked way to hard and not to mention Im in a size fricking 8/10 which I think I skipped all together in the past.

So my goal for the rest of the week is to go work out Wed, Thurs, and Friday morning then I'm going on a Retreat with my church for the weekend to do some hiking and swimming and some other things I've never don't before. So that should be nice.  Its a nice drive 4-5 hours away and just my daughter and I with church friends.

No more carbs atleast till next week I WILL BE AT UNDER 40 FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK!! 20-30 GRAMS OF FAT AND ATLEAST 80 GRAMS OF PROTEIN!! 

I LOVE MY SLEEVE AND I WILL NOT LET MY HEAD WIN! 346 LBS NEVER AGAIN! 

After-My First 5K RUN 4-20-13

Before @ 346

wELL TODAY IS MY bIRTHDAY AND i HAVE MADE gOaL!!!!!!! iM AM 34 AND THIS IS THE bEST gIFT i COULD EVER ASK FOR.i LOVE mY sLEEVE :) i STARTED OFF AT 346 LBS AND NOW i AM 172 LBS jUST SHY OF 4 DAYS WHICH WILL BE MY 1 YEAR pOST-oP

iTS cRAZY i HAVE LOST 173 ISH POUNDS IN LESS THAN A YEAR

tOMORROW IS aPRIL 20TH i AM DOING MY VERY FIRST 5K, iM SUPER EXCITED NOT ONLY IS IT MY FIRST 5K IT IS A 

COLOR RAD RUN!!!   fOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS YOU rUN AND gET bLASTED WITH cORN sTARCH pAINT​ AWESOME!!

Well I have got 20 days till my 1 year post-op VSG!!! It seems like yesterday that I was at the hospital.  I cant believe how far I have come my total so far is a loss of 166 pounds yes 166!  It just blows my mind b/c I never thought I would be able to be a Normal weight again.  My orig. goal is to be 175 by 4-23-13 which is the day I go back for my follow up, so I'm still going for it... If for some reason I don't make that goal I will be just fine. Its only 5 pounds so I'm thinking if I work really hard I CAN DO IT!  It is taking a lot out of me now to lose as it has SLOWED down big time!  I have got to find a balance for my Calorie Intake and Carbs vs. Burning Calories at the gym.  I've got to figure out how to maintain as I've never had to do that in all my years.  I would just lose, gain, gain, gain, lose and yo-yo back in forth.

My Biggest NSV so far I would have to say is PASSES TO KINGS DOMINION I can now fit on the rides.... It has been about 13/14 years since I've rode rides.  I was always the one that went and sat while everyone else had fun! Not no more!!! Although I think I'm to old for those rides as I felt like my brain had moved a little while riding those roller coasters, boy they beat you up, but I had a BLAST!

Having the VSG is the BEST DECISION I could have made for myself.  I sometimes feel like I should have tried harder to lose weight but in reality the TOOL is what has helped me archive this weight loss and with out it I would still weigh 346 lbs if not more.  It is only a tool you have to do the work and if you do you will get to goal. I LOVE MY SLEEVE!

Well it has been 11 months. CRAZY!!  Well lets see some things have been going on... First I'm almost to my goal at 175 

It is so hard to believe and I think that I'm getting a little comfortable and that scares me. I am still going to the gym 5-6 days a week and working out most of the time like a dog.  This past week thou has been really hard.  I'm having issues with my monthly cycle and that is causing me to eat a little more than I would like.  I know, I know excuses excuses that's how I got to be at 346 lbs.  So its time for a few changes!! I am starting to drink a Protein Shake first thing in the morning before my coffee and then drink my coffee and eating my Breakfast when I get to work.  I am adding a morning snack and mid-day snack.  I'm trying to eat more fruits which I LOVE but it's added Carbs which I don't like.  I try to stay under 40 Carbs but last week with my Carbs and Calories they were both off the chain.  My calories now are between 750-900 calories on any given day.  Which is a little more than I would like. 

My next apt with the Surgeon is on April 23, 2013 which marks my 1 year !!! On that day I will also meet with the Dietitian which at this point I feel I need to speak with.  I just need a little guidance with some nutrition ranges and on some new things to eat.  At this point I don't know really how many calories I should be eating with all the working out Im doing and still tying to lose that last 8 pounds or so.  I log ALL my food even when I have a bad day.  I use Loseit.com and I think I might try Myfitnesspal.com and see if that will make a difference. Maybe just in my mind some change will be good LOL  I know that this is a LIFE LONG BATTLE and I will use my Tool to the best  of my ability.  I love the new me even thou it would be nice to get rid of some skin but to say out loud and look in the mirror that I have lost 163 pounds is unreal and I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT UNHEALTHY UNHAPPY PERSON! 

I have 13 lbs to go until my orig. goal! It is CRAZY to see myself in before pics now, I cant believe I allowed myself to get that way. I feel so much better. I'm now a Gym Rat and training for my first 5K in April (Color Rad) Its going to be Awesome! I will take lots of pictures and post them.  I'm so proud of myself and am so Happy I got a Second Chance in life.  I couldn't see myself being 346 lbs again and I NEVER, NEVER WANT TO GO BACK!

I can hardly believe it I only have 20.1 lbs left to go until I hit ONEDERLAND GOAL.  Yesterday I RAN my FIRST EVER 5K 3.2 miles on the treadmill. It was hard but I DID IT! Life is good.  I feel so much better, I have more energy and I can keep up with my daughter.  I just bought season passes to Kings Dominion for my daughter and myself.  I cant wait to ride rides with her.  I have never done that before as I've been over weight all of her life.  She has never known me at my smallest.  I am now a Gym Rat lol I would have never thought that was possible. I cant say enough how lucky I am to have a second chance at life. Now all I need to do is work on my attitude.  It does suck most of the time and I wonder if a lot of that comes from being over weight the past 12 years and being bitter towards myself/and others.  I know life is short and I try to remind myself of that.  I love my family more than anything and as I run I think how lucky I am to have saved my life and gained some years back.  Now only if I can get her father on board!

If your asking yourself if you should do it GO FOR IT! Its the best decision I've made in my life, to save my life!

UPDATE: As of today 2-16-13 I have 13 more lbs to lose before I first orig. GOAL! 

It was 9 months yesterday.... I went to the Doc, he said "Hey Skinny" what who me... lol well I wouldn't call myself skinny but I'm sure as hell NOT a fat ass anymore! I was super excited to see him.  He said I looked great and I was doing really well.  He wants to use my before and after pictures for his office.  I said sure that would be great.  So now I got to dig up some old fat pictures up which will be a little hard b/c I took most w/o clothes on just bra and undies for myself  so I could use them as before and after "Fat" pictures that no one else is suppose to see but me.  I have to say at 9 months I'm 199.9 which was my own personal goal to make before I met with him on the 23 rd of January.  I hit that goal 4 days ahead of time.  YAY ME!!!!

I started off in a 3 x work scrubs and now I'm in Med. scrubs

In regular clothes I started out in a size 24-26 and now I'm in a size 14(who would have thought Id see that again)

I log everything I eat and  eat pretty much what I want.  I don't do pasta, rice or bread, but I do eat some bad carbs... CHEESE-IT's are the worst for me.  I LOVE them.  I eat a serving and make sure that I log it.  I don't drink while I eat but do have some soda (diet) every other day or so.  I use to be a 2-LT kind of girl but now its one-two glasses and thats it. 

For the most part I eat about 680-720 calories a day, no more than 20-30 g of fat per day, and under 40 g carbs per day.  My carb intake is more like 40-50g but its close.  I wouldn't change this for the world.  I can do more things with my daughter and I love that I am able to Roller Skate again with my own skates.  I so have missed those days.

If you thinking of doing the VSG GO FOR IT!!!!!! Its the best decision I have made for myself.  I exercise about 4 times a day either walking the dog outside or using my treadmill.  I'm getting ready to buy a elliptical and join a gym.  So I hope to hit Goal by April 2013 my 1 yr out  if not atleast by June 9, my daughter 13 th birthday.

OH has taught me a lot and I Love My OH Family 

Dr. B LOVED MY TATTOO "Never Again"

Never Again will I be 346 lbs...

Well I weighed yesterday 1/19/2013 I hit 199.9 I super excited.  I'm so very proud of myself and today I went and got a new Tattoo that was an idea from Mario (hope he doesn't mind) like he said it is a weight I will Never Again see and Never plan on going back. I just Love It!!!!!! REMEMBERING THE PAST ALL WHILE FOCUSING ON THE FUTURE!

Well today is New Year's Eve... I am a little over 8 mos out and weigh 208 lbs So I have lost somewhere between 135-142lbs in 8 months!! I am so Thankful for everything going as well as it has and I have gone from a size 3X 24/26 to a Med/Large shirt and a size 14/16 in pants... I will post a before and after pic Wed. when I get to work.  Life is good, I pray that 2013 will bring even better opportunities and that life will fall into place.  I'm going to continue to work on me and my attitude and pray for the best!  

Happy New Year OH Family!

Well I ate Thanksgiving "Lunch" at my Aunts house again this year!  The difference was I'm Sleeved and it will be 7 months tomorrow.  I had 4 oz..  I'm so proud of Myself!!!! Even thou I didn't exercise I didn't have anything I wasn't suppose to and I didn't shove my face.  I am so Thankful for my family/Support and a second chance at being Healthy...  I had 1 tbsp of Stuffing, 1 tbsp of (home made) Potato Salad, 1/8 of a cup of Greens, 1.5 oz of Turkey=4 oz  I brought home doggy plates for lunch at work Friday and Saturday and brought home some desserts but that doesn't mean I'm going to eat them.  My Aunt is a fantastic cook and everything she make is super yummy.  I might have to give that piece a Choc Steam Cake to my daughter or boyfriend.  That one piece has 377 calories in it and its really small, so I don't think its worth eating even if I only see it once a year!

To date I have lost somewhere around 132 lbs.  I couldn't be more happier.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone and I hope everyone is safe! I  MY SLEEVE (4-23-2012)

Well it will be 7 months post-op for me in 2 days.... I have lost a total of about 132 lbs so far and I've got about 45 ish more to go!!! I cant believe that I have lost as much as I have.  The feeling is overwhelming... So many emotions go through your head and to think I waited all this time to do something about it.  I do know that it was the BEST DECISION I have ever made for myself and I am so grateful to have a second chance at being Healthy.  Its not easy by any means but if you do the hard work the pounds will come off.  A few weeks back I was in a 2 week stage of Snacking almost everyday and the scale didn't move!!! I thought I was going to need a intervention of some sort it kind of scared me a little that the "OLD" me was trying to take over.  Needless to say I got it together I went back and read my old blogs and looked at all me pre-op pics of me being a fat ass, gave myself pep talks..... No one will ever truly understand unless you have been there.  People say oh you took the easy way out or you could have done it if you stuck to it.... Well If I put myself on the OR table and take a chance of not waking up I hardly think that is taking the easy way out.  If I could have "stuck" to it and lost the weight sure I wouldn't have had to do the sleeve but clearly I couldn't and I'm ok with that!  Id rather have a second chance, have a little flab ok maybe a lot  but that to me is all worth the fight to get back to a healthy state of mind, body and soul.  Being over weight does impact your life very differently and for those people that have Never had to deal with that will NEVER understand!  Each day all of us take something for granted.... Yes even myself, we have so many things to be Thankful for and sometimes it slips our minds b/c we are so busy or just don't take the time to realize what we need the most is support and love no matter what we do or how we do it.  You never know when your time is up and when your going to be called home.  So try and take each day one by one and be Thankful no matter how you may feel that day.  Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!! 

All of us have experienced times in our lives when we wanted something so badly however it seemed so far out of reach that we gave up before we ever started.  

We all went down this path to live a long healthy life however we can not forget that the journey is just as important as the destination.  Often times the journey and the thought of the destination is a hundred times better than the actual destination itself. Yet many of us forget to pay attention to the journey while we are on it.  

Yet at other times, many of us wish to give up during the journey toward a worthy cause simply because the travel has gotten a little rough. Many people give up quickly because they don't attract exactly what they want in a very short time, or because they bump up against parts of themselves that need changing that they don't want to face.  

No journey worth taking will ever be easy. Yet we must all learn to embrace and experience every journey, even if it's one that isn't easy or simple. After all, it's not the destination that offers the lessons, it's the journey to the destination that makes all the difference.  

Besides, many of us no sooner get to our destination and we are already looking at the next place we want to go. Do you honestly believe that once you attract everything you want right now, that there won't be more wants and desires for you to attract? Have any of us ever really be content with exactly what we have, even if what we have was a huge desire in the past?  

The answer is most likely a resounding no. We may have got to our magic number on the scale, however, there will always be that 1 more thing that needs improvements. It's human nature to hunger and desire more, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  

The real question isn't whether there is a next, or if you will reach your destination. The real question is whether or not you will pay attention during the journey and gain as much as possible in knowledge and experience as you travel.  

If you aren't looking at the scenery as you travel to the beach, you are missing half the trip. Once your at the beach, your trying to take in as much as possible any way, so the destination itself becomes an adventure and a journey.    

No one has ever said it would be easy. All that we have said is that the journey is well worth the travel. We all know that anything worth having isn't easy to get, and anything easy to get usually isn't worth having.  

As we say, you get what you pay for. If you pay the price and take the time to change and really invest 100% and truly enjoy and embrace the experience and the journey, the rewards will pay off ten fold. If not, the reward will be the continuation of the same, unhappy life that we have all once lived..  

In the end, the choice is yours as to what you get out of anything. Whether you will embark upon a journey down a path that few travel and even fewer complete, or whether you will simply park your butt on the bench and watch life pass you by.  

Well it has been 6 Months and 13 Days!  I'm down a total of 118.1 lbs. at Home and 122.1 lbs. at the Doctors Office. I am really ​proud of myself and how far I have come but I'm disappointed in myself b/c I feel like I'm falling back into some OLD HABITS... I cant seem to get it together.  I feel like the scale isnt moving, maybe that has something to do with it which mean it's mental as before when I did Weight Watchers I would lose and them gain and say F*ck it! I DONT WANT TO SAY F*CK IT THIS TIME WHEN I HAVE COME SO, SO FAR!   I feel I need to go back to basic and Im thinking I need a little support "EXTRA" this month with the Holidays coming up in all..... Its really going to be a test.  I  Love  My Sleeve and I also know "I've" got to be the one that does this no on e else can do it for me.  Another issue is I'm so tired of the stuff Im eating and the counting is getting on my nerves as I'm being wineeeee I know I'm the one that signed up for this.  I have been snacking some in the past and eating a few things I shouldn't and I had a taste of Diet Soda boy was it good but I cant fall back into that path.  I'm so much happier with myself being down 118 lbs I can do so much more and I be Damn if Im going to live to eat!! I AM GOING TO EAT TO LIVE!! 

I think I need to focus on exercise more as lately I haven't been able to do much b/c of my knees... I know, I know Excuses, Excuses... I'm doing this for me and the reason for my living is my 12.5 yr old daughter!! I love her more than life itself and would do anything for her,  That includes losing weight.  As I write this I don't write for others to see or comment I do it so  look back on my journey when times are hard and re-read them, as I just did that a week or so ago.  I know what I have to do and I'm going to do it.. "I" signed up for this journey good or bad and I'm more than half way there!!  I LOVE MYSELF AND MY SLEEVE