I know nothing, ie my own slippery slope

We can support each other in this journey (not a destination, always work...must remember this)!  I think that's why I really needed to post this.  My mom's name is Paula :)

I  was exactly the same way during my losing phase after I got my band in 2010. In fact I was terrified of myself nearly the entire time, not to mention when I got to maintenance. However, I learned a lot during those times. I will share some of them with you.

!. I am capable of sticking with it.

2. I am going to go off the rails at times.

3. When I do that I have to forgive myself for not being perfect. Perfectionism has always been a problem because when I couldn't live up to my strict standards (and I never can), I would nearly beat myself to death. Then, because I was such a loser I would feel horrible about myself and end up going off on a binge.

4. It is far better if I examine what happened, see if I can learn something from it, then move on. Trying to be rigid only leads me to failure.

5. There are those who do extremely well on a strict plan; I am not one of those. I have to allow myself some leeway or things will fall apart when I inevitably make another misstep.

Learn to deal with the issues as you discover them but . Don't make yourself crazy. Life is worth enjoying and you cannot do that if you are killing yourself with criticism. Give yourself frequent pats on the back for the good things you do and make a much bigger deal of them than when you make mistakes. Give your self tangible rewards (non food, of course) whenever you win one of those big battles.

I even gained some weight during maintenance because I had never gotten to that point before. The most my maintenance phases ever lasted were about 10 minutes. What did I learn? The fat lady still lives within, I can either go back there or get up and get back on track. If my choice is to get back on track I have to forgive myself, once I have made the decision. If I load myself up with a crap load of guilt I just quit. Making mistakes, going off in the wrong direction, gaining some weight, whatever, is not the end of the world, it is just a point where I have to ask myself how bad I want it. Do I want to continue with my new life or do I want to go back to the pain and shame I lived with before wls? Am I going to remain a success or am I going to join the ranks of wls failures?

You can do this,

Sue

Thank you for your wisdom and the vote of confidence.  I'm going to have print it out and stick it on my fridge.  "Give yourself frequent pats on the back for the good things you do and make a much bigger deal of them than when you make mistakes."  This made me cry.  I don't know if I ever learned that.  I've been through a lot of therapy, I've found so much peace as I've gotten older, but I never have been able to get rid of the perfectionism that is so life stifling.  It's like I try to set myself up for failure.  Thank you especially for that nugget of wisdom.  I'm really going to work hard on doing just that.

I completely agree with number 5.  I keep thinking to myself that I'm so gung ho about following to the plan now, at what point will I slip.  Fact is, we all get tired we all need a refresh.  I think by allowing just the slightest bit of leeway we allow ourself that point of refreshing and don't tire. 

Thank you for this thread, and thanks to those who have responded.  You are helping others -- including me -- by putting your honesty out there and giving us yet another example of someone who will face the reality of the situation. 

I'm glad I could be helpful in any way.  I've gotten so much help on this forum. 

Your honesty here is showing your accountability & that's what counts right now.  You are in the right mindset now which is critical for your long term success.  And you are right, most if not all of us have food demons whether it be sugar or starchy carbs or in my case, both!!!  This is one of the main reasons I stay on this board.  It's a wealth of information on what to do & what not to do.  Keep fighting the good fight gurl.  You are beautiful & I've seen your success so far.  You are worth it!!!

So are you!  Thank you for all your support and your honesty.  Your generosity of spirit always makes me smile

You just posted what I have thought so many times during these last five and a half months...thank you and more power to you!

Thanks :)