Almost 9 month post op visit, plastics consult & musings (long)

So, I had my first plastics consult today.  It wasn't really intentional, but one of surgeons I wanted to meet with practices in the same office as my bariatric surgeon and they squeezed me in after my appointment.  Convenient bc I live pretty far away from my bariatric surgeon, and the traffic here sucks. 

Anyways - the plastics consult.  I'm pretty sure I won't be using him.  He's nice enough, honest, seems to know his stuff, but he made me feel just terrible.  Made some comment about how my chest is anatomically strange.  I'm reasonably certain he means how large my rib cage is bc it sticks out quite a bit.  I've never thought this was strange, and I like my large collar bones and the shadow of my upper ribs on my chest.  He said I definitely need a lower body lift.  No surprise there.  I can see the skin & sagginess in the mirror.  Also said I need breast augmentation & a lift - again, no surprise there.  I've lost a lot of volume and they are saggy, not only from weight loss but breastfeeding & pregnancy.  It's fine.  He did say that my skin will look like this forever without plastics.  I'm not sure I believe that.  I've lost almost 124lbs (or 125 according to my surgeon's office) in less than 9 months, so there has got to be a little bounce back.  I'm not expecting miracles, but I do believe that my thighs will recover a tiny bit and I'll either learn to live with them or I'll have them fixed.  At least it's just the very tops of them, and you can't really see any of my trouble areas in clothes & a good bra :)  I don't know what it was about the consult, but I felt so defeated and terrible afterwards.  Maybe it's just me?  I'm going to go to two other surgeons, and I'm hoping for a better experience.  We'll see.  He just seemed so confused that I was still losing weight, even though I explained that it's very little weight and I wasn't looking to have surgery until next spring/summer.  I just wanted to get an idea of what could be done & the cost involved, so I can start figuring out the financial portion.  I guess the good thing is he doesn't think I need lipo.  What's left is just skin.  Haha.  Who knew that would be a positive?

Almost 9 month post op visit - This is the good :)  I'm over 100% EWL.  My labs were perfect.  My doc actually asked me what my secret is because I've beaten all of his goals.  I told him hard work, complete determination, low carb, high protein, TRACKING, and that I actually like exercise and have been active all throughout my 20s & early 30s.  I think maybe a lot of my success is just luck.  I didn't come into this surgery with comorbitities, I'm relatively young, and I never had an issue losing weight.  It just always came back on with pals.  He then told me he was thrilled with me and everything I've accomplished.  Told me I am amazing, just amazing.  This is not blowing sunshine up my ass.  This man means what he says.  I teared up.  It's so hard for me to feel proud of myself.  So much of my success is my tunnel vision, my type A personality.  I take something and run run run with it without much thought of anything else.  There is also the whiny kid in my head who is always telling me that I should be ashamed of myself.  Ashamed that I got to the point where I felt I needed surgery.  Ashamed that I couldn't do this on my own.  Ashamed that I actually 120+ pounds to lose.  Then I felt humiliated by his praise & pride in me.  Completely not deserving of it.

But you know what?  **** THAT.  I'm sick of feeling ashamed.  I can't undo the weight I gained.  I wouldn't undo the surgery even if I wanted to. I can't fix my extra skin or have a bikini ready body without some medical intervention. BUT I can decide how I'm going to feel about it, what I'm going to do today, this minute.  And I'm deciding to feel proud.  I've lost a ******g person in less than nine months!  A thin person, but a person nonetheless.  I got my life back.  MY decisions led to that.  Not someone else's.  I MADE this happen, and I deserve to be proud.  So, instead of moping around, mourning past decisions, berating myself for past failed weight loss attempts, I'm going to be proud of what I have acheived.  I'm going to be proud of every moment I chose lean, dense protein when I really wanted a ******g cupcake.  I'm going to proud of what I can do physically.  I'm going to be proud that my husband thinks I'm beautiful at whatever weight I am.  This is a war, and I am lucky that I have been winning most of my battles lately.  But it won't end, so why bother dwelling on the past?  I need my energy for all of my upcoming battles.

And finally (I know this is super long), I was asked to be a before and after on my surgeon's revamped website.  I'm going to do it.  :)

You made me tear up.  You should be proud, you have done more than was expected.  You are winning your health back and you deserve all the praise in the world.  Take your time finding the perfect surgeon for plastics for you.  It matter who you choose.  Look at all of their pictures and find someone who knows a great deal about working with our type of skin issues.  Don't skimp on this, it is a huge deal and you want to do it right.  Save up close to $25 thousand or so if you can. 

That's what my husband and I were figuring on.  It's not so much saving the money, it's actually handing it over to someone :)  This is worth it, though.  Way more than worth it.  I feel like it's a part of the journey for me, and I deserve it.  My hubs is pretty excited about the prospect of augmentation.  He's a boob guy.  I'm going to take my time, and if I can't find a good fit here, I will start looking outside the city.  I'm not screwing around with this.  It's too expensive and I'm way too vane to not be 100% comfortable and confident with my surgeon's work. 

Thank you, as always.  When Dr. G asked me what I thought made me so incredibly successful, I wanted to say "Elina!  It's Elina!"  :)

Thank you. 

Ms *****y?  I like it!  You're pretty *****y yourself :)  Thank you

 ... for phenomenal weight loss

... for a fantastic attitude

... for knowing when a doctor isn't the right doctor for you

... for realizing that you are worthy of praise (& adoration)

...for coming into yourself and owning it like the sexy beast you are!!!

... Rock on with your badself and wear those white shorts with pride!!!!

Bahaha!  I love you!  Thank you.  I feel like a sexy beast today once I finally got over feeling like crap :)

Yay !!!

Great post !!!!

This is what it's all about !!!

Be proud !!!!

Many compliments on your achievements !!!!

frisco

Thank you so much!