Why does WLS have such a bad rap??

So I have not told many people at all that I am thinking of having this done. My BFF of course is one person that I told, and she has been supportive and encouraging. Then I told my mom and she thinks it's a bad idea, why would I do that to myself, yadda-yadda. So then I told my BFF what my moms reaction was and she says she agrees! Well then why was she so supportive at 1st?! I feel like I can't tell anyone! I am glad I have found you all, and I have already met a few locals from this website. I am thinking of just keeping it to myself from now on. I have a WLS monthly support group and you guys and my kids and my sister. Everyone else can kiss it! LOL

people  remember the horror stories from the lap band , and some of the old stomach stapling surgeries , where people didn't lose and where always throwing up ,

your bff is trying  to be supportive even thou she thinks its a bad idea, take her to one of your support group meeting to talk to people that had the surgery

 most people I told are happy for me , you will always find a few(mostly stick figure people) that say why can't you just diet

 as long as your comfortable with the surgery that all that counts

Mu mom talked me out of the RNY 4 years ago and the truth is she was only able to talk me out of it because I was not ready then and I really didn't want that surgery. I am now going though the process for the Sleeve and I have yet to tell her because she does not get a vote this time. Some people are negative because they love us and are just scared. I agree witht he other member, take them to a support group meeting it might make a difference.

Obesity is a serious disease. A lot of us suffer from eating disorders also. We wouldn't advertise or seek opinions about getting treatment for cancer or HIV. Furthermore, people would actually sympathize with one's NEED to get the greatest medical care/intervention as possible, right? SMH, people are so simple minded and I'm sorry you had to see your friend's true colors revealed in reference to your health.

This isn't a vain decision you are making and our family and friends unfortunately don't understand the seriousness. This is your journey, your private journey. You can't let everybody in. During my process pre-op, I was my support...places like this site was my support...youtube videos were my support. Although I am very close to my fam/friends, they were NOT allowed into this part of my life. It was my personal refuge...me and my weight loss surgery community. I had so much peace and contentment in that. Most of the rest of the world are truly ignorant to weight loss surgery; and I don't have the time/patience or care enough to help them understand! I'm glad you have the mindset you do. People will discourage you but they don't realize it's more harm than good. So keep at it hun! :)

I think part of the problem is the fact that it's a surgery. People are, in general, afraid of being cut open. I think this stems from a fear of the unknown. A fear of being out of control. For example: I tore my ACL in 2005 and had to have it surgically repaired. I was TERRIFIED. Mostly because I didn't really understand exactly what they were going to do. The surgeon threw around a bunch of medical jargon and showed me some diagrams, but all I really knew was that I was going to be put under and submitted to pain. I freaked out in pre op and had to be given valium. Now, fast forward a few years, during which time I studied Medical Terminology in college and worked in several veterinary practices where I was able to watch (and occasionally participate in) surgical procedures from start to finish - from IV insertion to dismissal. I came to understand how surgery worked and that it really wasn't scary at all when you understand what is happening. It's actually pretty fascinating! When I decided to have VSG this year, I wanted to know as much as possible about the surgery so I studied my fanny off - watching youtube video diaries, looking up videos of the surgery itself, and lurking on forums like this one. When I had my consultation with my surgeon, I was able to rattle off almost as many details about the surgery as my surgeon's nurse! When surgery day came, I was cool as a cucumber in pre op, joking with my nurses and my surgeon until the moment they knocked me out. I think I was so calm because I had done my homework. There was no fear of the unknown. I knew precisely what was going to happen to me and knew I was going to be fine. People who haven't had surgery (weight loss or otherwise) and haven't done any research still have this fear of the unknown.

Show your mom and BFF your research. There are lots of really informational sites out there! Help them understand!

Best of luck!

Excellent response Chrissy!!!!

Aw, shucks! Thanks :)

I agree with Chrissy about people having fear...however, a lot of people I know showed a different type of non-support. It's like some people have a misconception about obese people. Most of my friends/fam did not express feelings of concern, but more so judgment, as if they knew a better way...as if my decision and anyone else who gets surgery is a lazy joke who doesn't believe in hard work and discipline to lose weight. I know you've heard the phrase about "taking the easy way out." That's just the vibe I always got. And you can tell if someone is putting on a front, acting like they are so concerned about your safety, but in reality they think you are pitiful (and may be even fearful that you will change for the better, physically and emotionally) for even considering such a thing. I just don't want people in our situation, facing such a life changing event, to lose focus on the end goal...hey if at the end of the day, your people are reasonable and you believe it will help to help them understand, that's great. But if not, baby keep it moving! xoxoxoxoxo

I have only told a few ppl. I am very grateful & blessed to have the husband I do. He knows the struggles I have had with my weight.

My very best friend went as my support person to the wls seminar & she decided to get VSG and her surgery was a couple of weeks ago.

I have not told many friends because I want them to be surprised next time they see me. I think for some ppl...I have been thought of as the "fat" friend.  Having me no longer be the fat friend might be scary to them..might make them have to look at themselves. You know? I don't say this to sound mean...just being true with my feelings. 

I am so very thankful that I have this forum & all of you..such a caring & supportive place. 

We have all been beaten up and beaten ourselves up over weight issues. Feels like I have gotten my pride back since joining here.  Thank you.

I personally didn't tell many people.  I had been thinking of lapband surgery for at least a couple of years.  A friend of mine had the VSG and my ex-sister-in-law had a revision to her RNY.  I started researching VSG practically non-stop during my non-work time.  I discussed it with my primary physician and researched the surgeon I wanted.  Finally, ll met with my and I asked a bunch of questions to the friend with the VSG and I thought, this is exactly what I'm looking for in the VSG.  I went to the next seminar which was held by my surgeon.  I was totally excited and went home to watch a video of him perform the surgery.  Next I had to tell my sister that lives with me at my house.  She was totally NOT on board at all.  She keep saying but you've lost 50 lbs before on ww and you aren't that big.  The problem is at 5' 3" 204 helped give me sleep apnea, high cholesterol, and most recently high blood pressure, not to mention I was seeing a physical therapist for ankle and knee problems.  We the first appointment rolled around with my surgeon I dragged my sister with me.  She finally got it when he explained and answered all her questions as well as mine.  Thank God he was so nice to spend quality time and make sure we didn't have any further questions.  From that moment on she got it and was on board.  All my other family members live about 1,000 miles away and I told them on a vacation trip home just a day before the call giving me my surgery date for 2 1/2 weeks later.  Everyone was ok with my decision and if they didn't feel it was right for me, they didn't say anything negative.  I was so relieved!  At my office I've only told my supervisor and one co-worker and they both have been supportive.  The others at work are gossips and I chose to not bother telling them.  They are free to think whatever they want to think. 

I think we all get excited and want to run out and tell everyone but it can burst your bubble so really think about who you want to really tell.  It can really be a let down.  On the other hand some people will surprise you and be more supportive than you can imagine.  They don't necessarily understand the health issues we all face being overweight and how it can really impact our quality of life and longevity.  Good luck to you and do what feels right in your heart, if you go forward with VSG make sure you really understand all the risks and benefits and research your surgeon thoroughly!  Best wishes to you!