I am not normal - my life lesson today brought to you by a pumpkin scone
No doubt. Although, the argument can be made that food addiction is actually pretty ******g hard since we actually have to eat, are around it constantly, it's legal, etc. Honestly, I don't feel sorry for myself, but I do envy people like my mom *****ally can just have half or a third of a scone. And, you're right, this isn't so bad. I'm damn near perfect if you take out my sugar issues ;)
You have described the feelings of nearly every person that struggles with obesity. It is the constant personal battle that we have been given and it just doesn't seem fair. HOWEVER, even the so called "thin, normal" people have their battles too. Not just us. Its just that this is the one that we are so painfully aware of every single waking minute.
I have not had my surgery yet, but I know even when my body is healthier, my mind may not accept that and I am most likely going to feel exactly as you do today. I am feeling a bit sorry for myself these days because I have "allowed" myself to get to the point where surgery seems to by the only way to win this battle. BUT, at least we do have the option of surgery. And we have people in this forum that TOTALLY understand where we are coming from and can relate to our emotional roller coasters. That helps, at least I find it does.
Good luck with your battle and your frustrations today. I believe you will feel better soon. Take care.
Thanks! I already feel better. Sometimes I just need to get it out there, eat some Greek yogurt and fresh fruit and suck it up. And don't feel sorry for yourself. I know that's hard right now, as I felt extremely sorry for myself pre-op and for awhile post op and still ever so occasionally now. But really, you're being proactive. You're taking your health in your hands and doing the best you can. That is strength. Whatever happened before this, whatever bad choices/addictive behavior/etc led to this moment have already happened. Focus on the now, focus on the future. This is a war, and you're about to get an extremely effective tool in your personal arsenal. There's no shame in that. Just smarts :)
Girl, I hear you! You could have stolen these thoughts right out of my head. I wish I were "normal" in this sense too, but I don't know if I will ever be. It has been a little over ten months that I've been eating "on plan" and part of that reason is that I'm afraid that if I have ONE cookie.... or a little bit of ice cream or something like that then it's all going to be down hill from there.
I know it's not reasonable and I know I've got to stop obsessing, but I can't help it! My husband maintains his weight by drinking a protein shake for breakfast, eating a turkey sandwich for lunch, and then whatever the hell he wants for dinner... and snacks on most days of the week. WTF! Why can't I do that!?
I feel your pain!!
For more info on my journey & goals, visit my blog at http://flirtybythirty.wordpress.com
My husband maintains his weight eating whatever he wants. Seriously. Whatever, whenever he wants. He has this incredible ability to just not want stuff when he starts putting on a little weight. It's amazing to me. I ALWAYS want the cookie. Always. You could wake me up at 2am, ask me if I want a cookie, and I'll want it. He only eats what he wants of something. I HAVE to measure my food so I don't continue eating until I'm feeling ill. The big "but" here is that I'm very healthy, and he's got high cholesterol. So my obsession with nutrition and what I consume, my dedication to my personal fitness, etc has made me very healthy even when I was obese. That's positive, right?
Yeah, and I hear you on the all or nothing thing. I've had some bad days throughout my post op journey, but there is always this fear that I'm one cookie away from being 260+ pounds again. I think, at least for me, that's not actually unhealthy. I've gained and lost weight so many times, and I do NOT want this to be a repeat so I'm going to take the fear and my daily weighing and work on my maintenance plan. Most days, I'm happy I'm the way I am - structured, rigid, more inclined to spreadsheet out pros and cons than make a snap decision because it means I nearly always have a game plan, and as long as I let myself make my normal, analytical, too well thought out decisions, I'll probably be all right.
You're fantastic, lady! We can have fantasy cookies in our heads while shopping for skinny jeans, and our husbands can just go eat pizza without us :)
Wait - you mean that's not normal? In all seriousness, I think there are 3 kinds of people out there. The people that will eat the whole scone and maybe another one without thinking about it. They are generally overweight, unhappy, and sick. That used to be us, and is not normal, even though it might seem so since there are so many of them. Then there the skinny *****es (normally residing in France) that have two bites of anything and are perfectly satisfied. They are not normal - they are freaks.
The third type we belong to - educated about nutrition and health and concerned about living a long, happy, productive life. We use the brains God gifted us with to make the right choices, in food and in life. We may not be in the majority, but we are the new normal!
Keep up the good work!
Height 5'4" HW:223 Lap band 2006, revised to Sleeve 5/8/2013, SW:196
