10 months post op. CAN'T STOP EATING.

I used to be a heavy binge eater, but had been doing very well for about a year prior to surgery.  I was in a car accident about two months ago that laid me out.  I couldn't exercise at all and was in pain every day.  Unfortunately, I proved allergic to all the pain meds so I just suffered. 

I feel like that may have reawakened the monster inside - that I've been self soothing with food.  My sleeve is not as restrictive as it once was, and if I eat carbs or processed foods they just slide through like butter.   I'm consistently shocked at the volume of food I can eat now.  Especially fast food.  Even proteins are not causing restriction like they once did.  

I'm having a very hard time.  I ate to sooth the pain and suffering, and now that I'm finally getting to a place where I can start doing small amounts of exercise again (I can walk about a half mile before I start to hurt) I want to get back on track, but I'm eating constantly still.  

The scale says I've gained five pounds.  One part of me is freaking out.  The other part of me has completely disassociated and is pretending nothing is happening.  I will be crushed if I go to my one year without have lost weight from my 9 month follow up.  

I'm nowhere near where I expected to be at this point in my journey or in the process.  

Surgery: 12/21/12  268lbs
Now: 10/13/2012   197lbs

​I need some help and support.  I know psychology is really up in this right now, what with the stress and anxiety of the accident, and the pain soothing, but I have to get off the crap foods.  Any tips or advice will be appreciated.  The one thing I've finally figured out is how to ge****er in.  I have struggled with that since surgery.  So while I'm struggling like mad with food, I am getting my water in for the first time in months.  

Thanks for listening. 
 

My only advice besides, therapy, which you know, is to just keep the crap out of the house. Go back to the basics. Go back to your list of what you can and cannot have.

Sorry you are struggling.  Just get the psychological help you need and stop eating crap. Good luck!

Sorry you are struggling.  Saying prayers for you!  :-)

Okay, first I think it is very important to recognize the pain management (or lack thereof) is a real and significant issue. It is not far fetched to me that you resorted to old habits to help you through the pain. Frankly, I find it understandable, unfortunate, but completely understandable.

I also want to commend you for trying to get in front of this issue before it becomes a bigger problem. I have some suggestions for you to help you do this. Please take what you like and forget the rest.

First, I think that you should contact your surgeon's office and let them know you are struggling. Hopefully, the surgeon has a staff that is able to help you look at your food and eating habits and can help you become accountable for your intake.

Second, see if you can get some psychological support for your pain issues since the meds don't help. Dealing with the pain on an emotional level may help with the self soothing behavior of the eating. If you want to pursue counseling to help with your food issues, that would be great, too.

Third, and not of least importance is the food choices you have been making. You mentioned eating fast food and lots of carbs. Let's take carbs first. I am not a believer that all carbs are bad. Some carbs are very good for you - in moderation. But there's that word - moderation. Moderation in my mind is not a weight loss word. It's a maintenance word. If you are going to eat carbs during weight loss I would make sure that they are low on the glycemic load and on the glycemic index. I did very well eating 40 to 50 carbs per day during weight loss. I did exercise quite a bit and I am a man, which may impact carb intake, but I'm not one hundred percent certain.

Fast food, is not, in my opinion, a suitable food for weight loss. I question the quality of the ingredients used. Even if you order a burger and get rid of the bread and just eat the meat and lettuce, what quality is the meat? Usually, I hate to say, very poor.

I'm going to recommend that you take three days and eat only dense, home cooked proteins and green vegetables that you want. Add some fats in the form of avocado, and healthy oils, but no nuts, to keep you satisfied. Seriously, eat all you want of these two things for three days and push the water - at least 100 oz per day. I think you will find that after 3 days your feelings of restriction will return full force.

You are going to have to detox from all the carb eating you've been doing. This will be hard - very hard. You may have to white knuckle it during those three days. Go meal to meal, but commit to detoxing.

I think this method is your best bet. Again, take what you like and ignore the rest. Following the advice above works for me every time I need a little rebooting of my restriction. Meat and green veggies does the trick every time. I'm almost 2 years out and my normal meals are 3 oz of meat and 1/3 cup of veggies. That fills me up just perfectly.

Good luck. I really wish you the very best. I know how scared you are, but this is going to require a big commitment on your part. Now DO IT!

Thank you, all of that makes wonderful sense.  I appreciate the support.  I've been sitting here realizing what was going on for about a week and just realized I could not let it continue, that I needed to ask for help.  

I logged back on spark people and will start tracking again this week to see what is happening and look for trends with a plan to start the reboot this weekend.  

I had completely given up fast food prior to this, so it was pretty heartbreaking to start doing that again.  I've been working the last few weeks to get off of it, but I'm going to have to do what I did before and leave all my money and debit card at home until I get over the hump.  

I will try for more water, but was really happy to have gotten up to 64oz!  It's been a struggle off and on these last few months.  It truly is a carb detox I swear.  Most people don't understand what the refined foods do to me, and I'm so grateful for your understanding.  

So, back to counting immediately, detox this weekend, and I have a psych appt in two weeks (soonest they could get me in.) 

This car accident has just messed everything up.  I'm so angry about this thing that happened that was not my fault at all, yet I'm suffering physically and mentally because of it.  Not to mention financially.  I'm so broke because I've been unable to work.  Going to try to go back the end of this week.  Plus I'm now in debt when I wasn't before because I could not replace my car for what I was paid out and I had to get a car loan.  This whole this is ridiculous.  Will get back on track.  I CAN do this. 

Everything that Kairk said, and I mean everything is right on the money.  I just want to point out one particular point that you made, that I really think is the very pivot of your whole situation and if not addressed, will derail any real effort on your part.  You said that you are disassociated from the situation and I believe you.  This is a huge clue to you that you are in trouble and need a good therapist NOW.  If you were feeling heart pain, you would recognize a symptom that is possibly deadly and seek out a professional to help you.  This too is a deadly symptom and you need a good CBT to help you through it.  Don't ignore it, don't pretend it's not that important---because it is very real and must be treated.  You are important, your health is important, get the right help now and unravel this mess.  You can do this, it is very doable.  Follow Kairk's advice and get ongoing support.  Many of us can't get to goal without it and more importantly, we can't stay at goal without doing this work first.  

Thank you so much for every word you just wrote.  I've been pretty depressed/anxious and down with the pain and stress of all of this.  It is easy to fall into the "It's not a big deal, because I don't matter that much," kind of mind set.  It's just very disheartening to have had such an amazing amount of energy and drive, and momentum and now I'm at a standstill having to start from scratch.  All the habits, the exercise, the eating, I had formed were obliterated by this thing that happened to me.  
 

I've an appointment with psych, but not until November 5th - soonest they could get me in.  In the meantime, I'm so grateful I asked for help here and appreciate all the support. 

Hi, Tami!  It's good to see you posting again.   I don't have advice for you -- that has already been covered most excellently by Kairk and Elina -- but I just wanted to express my admiration for you for posting about this today and for fighting to hold onto all that you have already accomplished.  You have a tough recent history to overcome, but if that fighter is still there inside you, you can do it!  White-knuckling yourself away from the harmful foods is what you need to do, and the sooner, the better.  If you regain weight you are just going to make things harder for yourself both physically, post-accident, and emotionally. 

Keep posting, and please, please try to do what has been suggested to you.  You are so worth it!!! 

Tami,

You said you were allergic to all the pain meds.  What did they try to give you?  I ask because I was in a car accident several years ago, and can't take narcotics. I now take meloxicam, a prescription nsaid, amytriplaline, technically a tri-cyclic anti-depressant but used at lower doses for pain management, tylenol, and a topical arthritis cream.  I have muscle relaxants (flexiril) as needed--I just had to refill them, and I calculated that I use 5 pills a month.  I also have exercises given to me by my PT, and I get regular massage therapy.

You should not be having to just deal with pain.  There are alternative medications they can try.  This is my regimin, but there are others.  Recent research has shown that patients who are given narcotic pain relievers have longer recoveries, more pain, and higher rates of disability than people who aren't.  In my case, I know several people who were in less severe accidents than I was, but are more disabled (I was rear-ended by a big yellow school bus going 35 mph).  I think not taking narcotics has actually worked in my favor because I am still able to work full time despite my injuries.

Oh, and just to let you know, since you mentioned having to go into debt, meloxicam, amytriptaline, and flexiril all have generic versions available at wal mart for $4.

I was given hydrocodone, percocet, and tramadol.  The first two make me super hyper and itchy and the third plain didn't work.  Made me high as a kite, but I still feel all the pain.   The muscle relaxant they gave me is also flexiril.  My problem with that is it puts me to sleep.  It seems the way my stomach works now it hits me like a ton of bricks all at once and bam, I'm out.  I've been able to stay awake through 1/4 of a pill, but it doesn't really do much for me at that low of a dose.  Tylenol doesn't seem to work on me (never has).  I was given an anti-inflammatory (NSAID) but could not handle it.  Even with omeprazol the reflux was terrible.  I don't take any acid medication, but started it in order to try and take the NSAID.  Made it two days before I had acid out my nose.  

I have physical therapy and massage therapy twice a week right now.   At my last appointment they suggested steroid injections, but those scare me.  I've heard such bad things about them.  My mom swears that's why she stopped losing weight post op.  I agree that I should not have to be dealing with pain, I just don't know what else I can take.  The only pain med that ever worked for me was Aleve, but one dose and I'm up half the night with acid coming out my nose.   

I wa**** on three sides of my vehicle and am grateful I was not hurt worse.  It is getting better, a little at a time.  But I'm not working because I cannot physically do my job (I work with animals).  Only thing I am doing right now is a bajillion doctor appointments and school twice a week for four hours.  And that kills me.  Never would have though****ching lectures for a few hours could be so painful:(   I'm open to any suggestions or advice you have.  The stress of all this is crazy.