To tell or not to tell...

That is the question.

How do I determine who I should and shouldn't tell about this surgery? I have already told all of my immediate family (parents, siblings, and my estranged husband), my closest friends, my immediate coworkers (I work in a pharmacy in a grocery chain, and all of the pharmacy employes in my store know because I will be out for the surgery and return with a very restricted diet, so it would be hard to hide from them), and my dad told my favorite aunt and my mom told her closest friends, all of whom are very supportive!

My mom is wanting to know what I want people to know and who, etc. because since my surgery is scheduled for the day after thanksgiving, our plans are being rearranged a little. Also, I will be fresh from the hospital during a big family event, so my absence will be noted. I am not sure whether I want to tell extended family, friends, coworkers, etc. So how do I know who to tell and who not to tell? How did others decide?

Initially I told only a small handful of people. Then I decided I wanted more support so I put it in my status on Facebook this morning! The support has been overwhelming. I will say that I only have friends and family as Facebook friends.

Best of luck to you and whatever you choose!

Autumn

I only told my closest friends and family. I haven't put anything on Facebook, nor do I ever post anything about my weight, diets, exercise, etc. (To eat their own, though. I keep a pretty low profile on FB anyway). I told a few coworkers because, like you said, it's almost impossible not to when you work in close quarters with people.

I decided to keep things relatively quiet because, for me, it's just easier this way. I don't feel the need to advertise my journey. That being said, some people need the accountability of telling a lot of people. The idea being that if you tell a lot of people, it is that much more difficult to allow yourself to fail?

It's a very personal decision. There's really no "wrong" answer. You have to do what's best for you.

HOWEVER. I will say this. If you have people in your life that you KNOW are going to be negative or accuse you of "taking the easy way out"... it may be best to just not tell those people. Why deliberately expose yourself to that kind of drama?

Best of luck to you :)

I have decided to only tell family members. I just feel others wouldn't be supportive. They will think I took the easy way out. Plus there's lots of haters out there. I prefer to keep my journey private. I don't need any negativity from outside forces.

It just depends on what you want to do! I thought there would be certain people in my life that would question my decision or be unsupportive, so I told few people. While I don't necessarily care what strangers might think of me... I do care what family, friends, and coworkers think of me... so I didn't want to open myself up to negativity... especially since this whole process can make you feel vulnerable.

There are people that shout it from the rooftops and I also think that's a good thing. They've probably helped a lot of people. BUT, if that the approach a person takes.... they just have to be ready to handle not only the support that will come their way, but also the possibility of negative comments!

Good luck!

I have lost weight before and people can be cruel. A few years ago, I lost over 60 pounds in a few months. I didn't tell anyone what I was doing. I ate sensibly and exercised. People started rumors that I was on drugs. I was so hurt. I don't feel as though I have to explain my actions to anyone. I am only accountable for myself.

You have already told about 25 to many people to keep it on the down low........

May as well just get it out there.......it's easier.....

My thought

frisco

I'm not even sure if I want to "keep it on the down low." I think I just realized I maybe just don't want other people telling people for me. Does that make sense?

Yeah, all the friends and family I have told have been VERY supportive. My brother and sister-in-law only questioned my decision saying "isn't that a bit extreme?" And all I could say was, "hasn't my weight problem gotten a bit extreme?" I just don't know how others will react - positive, negative, supportive, not...

I've been pleasantly surprised that no one has accused me of taking the easy way out.

I don't think most of these people would even be on my radar, except that because my surgery is the day after Thanksgiving, we're having Thanksgiving this Saturday, so my mom wants to know what to tell people as far as why we're having it early. She said she'll make something up if I don't want to tell people, so I'm just trying to figure out if I'm helping or hurting my success, or if there's no hard and fast rule on this subject.

My family and friends know, but I definitely never made a Facebook announcement... Every piece of my business is not everyone elses, I don't look into everyone elses medical file, why should theynlook into mine?

You will see how it feels more after the surgery, to "confess", but it sounds like you have been pretty open.