What just happened?

I just met an out of state friend, who is a nurse, for breakfast.  We haven't seen each other since I was a size tight 4X and now I'm in x-large size.  She didn't mention my weight loss, not once.  I must say, I'm a little sad today......

Don't be! Perhaps she was just being polite... chin up!! :)

I felt the same way over the summer when my entire Dad's side of the family didn't notice that I had lost 130 lbs. She either noticed and didn't say anything because she didn't feel comfortable or is jealous. Or, she didn't notice because she's too self-absorbed (like a lot of my family) lol

I've lost 87 lbs and hardly anyone has said anything about it, besides the ones who know I had WLS. It's hurtful; I understand that. If you're not super close, it's likely she didn't know how to bring it up, didn't know whether you've lost the weight intentionally, or just felt uncomfortable commenting on someone's weight because it's a sensitive issue. Or she's jealous. Don't let it get you down. Hugs to you!

Personally, I think it's rude to make any kind of comment on someone's weight - good or bad.  That's a very personal and touchy topic.  That's what I was taught and what I expect of other people.  However, I think it is perfectly acceptable to say "wow, you are looking so good!"  or "you are looking super healthy these days".   

I would give your friend the benefit of the doubt and assume that she was simply being polite and didn't want to draw attention to the fact that you were quite large "before".   I'm getting ready to switch jobs and frankly I'm glad that I'll be working with a group of people that never knew me "fat".  I won't have to deal with the double-takes from colleagues who haven't seen me in a few months.  

Some people don't know whether you want to talk about it or not.

Rest assured, they are talking about it behind your back and it's probably all good things.  I once heard someone say "I don't even recognize him anymore" when they thought I was far enough ahead of them to not be overheard.  I smiled and kept going.

I'm torn whether I want people to say something, or not. Though what I've gotten are "you look great!" kind of comments, so those I like. :-)

But one person did say to me they had waited to say anything because they didn't know if they should, or not. They said they know some people don't want it mentioned. So maybe she didn't know what to say.

That being said... I expect different responses from close friends and family over people I just know as acquaintances or just work with.

 

Wait till you get close to goal and that is all they want to talk about!  As in 'you're not going to lose any more weight are you?" or "Do you ever get to eat anything GOOD?

Anne

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she might not know how to say it or if you would take offense to it or something. Some people might take offense and other don't. Its like not asking if a woman you don't know when she is due!

I had a colleague ask me - somewhat embarrassed - if I had lost a lot of weight. He said he hadn't asked because he was afraid I was sick.

Sweet, sorta funny, shake my head sort of moment.