The New Normal and the threat to the new normal

I noticed today how easy it is to hold to my new diet most of the time.  I eat by the clock.  I weight and measure my 3.5 ounces of dense protein, and add my small serving of veggies.  I enjoy stocking the refrig with tasty, healthy meals.  I enjoy searching the internet for new ideas for cooking. When I get bored or restless, I march myself down to my exercise bike and exercise rather than eat.   For the most part, I don't even think about snacking anymore.  (with the exception of stress related head hunger which still sends me running to the refrigerator!)  This is the new normal, and boy, does it feel great! 

I feel like a normal person.  My arms and shoulders are boney.  I can feel my ribs and hip bones. I still have some weight to lose in my belly, but I look basically normal in weight.  This is so strange to me after 50 years of obesity.  Its like a dream.

But, as I report all these wonderful results, I am also aware of the risks of blowing it all.  Last weekend, I had dinner at a friends.  It was the day I hit One-derland, and I had planned to have desert to celebrate, and brought fruit and whipped cream to share.  These dinners eating out are always a challenge to the diet, but I usually manage because my restriction kicks in and saves me from myself.  But this dinner threw me off.  We had appetizers, and I ended up filling up on olives and meatballs - not terrible, but not great.  Then at dinner, I was already full and all I could eat was one scallop - which was ok.  By the time desert was served, my restriction was passed, and I was alone with my addiction.  My hostess added to the desert by melting some excellent chocolate to dip the fruit into.  It was the first time I had chocolate in over a year, and it overwhelmed me. 

For all my new-found discipline and success, it was all over when I tasted that chocolate.  I ate until I was satiated, and I did not feel any restriction. I was out of control again. 

I had no problem getting back on plan the next day, and I have a new-found respect for the power of my addiction.  Like the alcoholic with the first drink, I have to avoid my trigger foods - at least when I haven't had my dense protein to keep me in check. 

I worry as I am approaching maintenance, as to how I will do once I add more calories.  I know how to do this weight loss stuff.  I don't know how to maintain.  

I would love to hear your stories about the "new normal" and the challenges you've had.

best wishes,

Carol

Hi Carol.

Well, as someone who has experienced regain, I can tell you what not to do.  :)

Don't stop tracking your food.  I'm not sure if you are because you are measuring out your food but whatever it working for you now, dont stop in maintenance.  Some people do eventually stop tracking but until you feel like you have a handle on this and your goal weight remains stable, keep tracking!

Drink your water in between meals.  This helps with wanting to snack or graze.

Some peeps swear by daily weigh in's.  I don't like to because my weight fluctuates baaaaad.  I can have days of clean eating and not see the scale move so I am trying to weigh weekly but that works for me.

Like you are now, be very aware of what you are putting into your mouth.  We are human & I'm not as hardcore as some but the thing is, we need to be fully aware of what we are doing and any consequences that might happen after.  After my first year I let in all the bad former eating habits come back and that was a recipe for disaster for me.  Some people can hit goal now and manage things a lot better.  I still struggle but I am proud of myself for keeping my head in the game, even if I've had my fair share of wanting to sit on the side lines.

I think you have done amazing well Carol and you really prepare and eat some tasty VSG friendly dishes.  I wanna go over to your house one day!

Keep rockin' it gurl!! 

Hi Jenn,

thanks for your kind words and the suggestions on maintenance. You are such a beacon of light for us all.

 It really does scare me to see how vulnerable I still am to those trigger foods like chocolate.  But one day at a time.  We'll figure it out!

best wishes,

Carol

I love your post. It really speaks to the challenges we face and the continued vigilance we must incorporate as part if our 'new normal'.

When I make mistakes, I try to spend some time reflecting in how I got into trouble - what led me to make the decisions I did. I know for me, placed in the situation you were in, I would typically feel a little social anxiety, so the situation itself can be a trigger. I try to think through how I would handle it next time and then move on. Done. Over. 

I think sometimes, just forgiving myself and being comfortable with being a whole lot less than 'perfect' is the most important part of my personal journey. Of course, I'm only speaking for myself. 

Hi Spencerella,

 I think the "perfect" issue is huge for me, and something I've been working on for a while now.  But the food aspect of this is new. 

thank you for your kind words. 

Carol

The "new normal"...that's a great way to put it, Carol :-)   I've spent the last 3 months trying to figure out my "new normal"...haven't quite got there yet - lol!  

I've continued to track my food in MFP and I hold myself accountable by even putting in the crap that I've eaten.  I've stayed with the 80 grams of protein (usually more) and have upped my carbs to around 80-100 per day.  I've added extra calories through occasional fruit and more fats.  I was surprised to find that I can take in around 1300-1400 calories a day and still maintain my weight.  With more exercise I'm thinking it's going to balance out to around 1600 per day.  

What hasn't changed is that I still can't eat the foods that triggered me in the past.  They continue to trigger me now, I just can't eat as much of them.  But eating them starts a crazy mental obsession that pushes me down a slippery slope to more bad eating.  And it's SO easy to lie to myself that since the scale isn't going up and my clothes still fit that it's "OK" for me to eat that stuff....it's not!  I want freedom from the food obsession and the only way I can do that is to abstain from those trigger foods, regardless of whether eating them makes me gain weight or puts me in a bigger size. 

I'm just rambling now, but wanted to weigh in on this topic.  And to tell you that you have blown me away with your success - very proud of you, lady! 

Hi Tracy,

I think you are right on about the trigger foods.  I have a new respect for them now that I've had the recent experience with the chocolate.  You are right about the need to abstain from the trigger foods.  I think they will always be triggers for me, and I'll have to make peace with living without them. 

thank you so much for your kind words.  You are a treasure!

Carol

Timely post with all the chocolate goodies for Easter popping up everywhere! 

I love chocolate, too. I don't eat it..but I had bought the kids (26,22,15) a 2 pack of the large Nutella jars. Hmm..I thought..just a taste of that isn't going to stop the world, it's not chocolate after all..you know how that thinking goes..I ate about 1/2 tsp of it and IT WAS ON.  I spent the rest of the evening fighting with myself over cravings. Definitely a trigger. 

A woman has got to know her limitations! I broke up with Nutella LOL It's still in the cupboard for the kids, but it is just so full of hell no whenever I see it. Not worth it at all.

Colleen

I had a similar realization at a chili potluck this week.  I allowed myself a taste of cornbread, reasoning that I had room for a few more carbs that day, I loved cornbread and hadn't had it in such a long time, etc.  Well, the first cornbread I tasted was dry and not very flavorful, so what did I do?  Went up and got a piece of someone else's cornbread.  That one wasn't what I wanted either, so I went up and tried a third variety.  That one was good.  When I was finished eating I realized that I'd been mindlessly eating all three pieces of cornbread and I had definitely consumed more than I had planned.  *smh*

I have no problem limiting myself to one bite with sweets, but apparently breads are going to be difficult for me.

What a great post.  I'm pretty new still (only 3 months out from my VSG) but I find if I even let myself taste something I "shouldn't" have, I spend the rest of that meal wanting/craving more.  If I just focus instead on getting my protein and enjoying what I have, I'm fine.  This is SUCH a head game, and realizing what constitutes your danger zones (so you can then develop workable strategies) seems, to me at least, to be half the battle.

Congrats on your success, Carol!