Things missed about obesity

One of my friends posted this link today on FB - what do you all think of it?  Do any of these things resonate with you?

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13018/5-things-i-miss-about-weighing-more-than-300-pounds.html

Interesting post. I doesn't resonate for me but we all have different perspectives. My history as an overweight person has not been pleasant. It has been filled with bullying, criticism, rejection, and self hatred. I am looking forward to the transition to a healthier body. Carrying nearly 250 lbs was never me. It was a symptom of pain and using food as a way to numb the pain. I took her topics and wrote what I have found in myself 

1. Power

I feel stronger today than I did when I was almost 60lbs heavier. I had so much weight to carry on my short frame that I was weakened by it. I now workout and do strength training. I also feel mentally stronger. I don't feel like I need to please everyone and set boundaries.  My friend already know them, no need to tell them. It is others who have had to learn them! 

2. Comfort

I like not having the huge belly to move around! I sleep so much better. Moving is easier because I don't have so much weight to shift. I agree with the tail bone! Hard chairs feel harder than ever! 

3. Perspective

I struggle to see my weight loss. I know that I am wearing smaller clothes. I still feel like I look like that big woman! I work on it every day! I do feel more confident though because I know that my body is getting healthier and I feel healthier too! 

4. Friendships

I am no threat so if someone is feeling insecure then there is nothing that I can do to change that. Some friendships are based on us being fat. It may make them feel better. I am fine with not dealing with people who define a friendship via their own insecurities and potential threats. I respect myself too much than to be one of those women who hurt other people's relationships. 

5. Presence

My body and mind are finally starting to match. My mind is quick and agile. My body was slow and sluggish. Now that I am loosing weight I feel more of a match between the two. I never loved the fat body. I was so disconnected from my body. I never felt full or satisfied. I just kept eating as if it was a desperate attempt to satisfy something inside me. I realized that what was inside me was a woman who wanted to be healthy. 

I will always have the personality that I had at my highest weight. I just decided that I wanted a healthier body to contain all that good stuff! I am seeing a match between my brain and body. I am growing to love and respect the woman who i am today and that love and respect for myself will continue to grow. 

I think she is lying and just wants attention and to boost her business. No one would choose this and if they presume to tell me that they would I'd say they're lying too. If she loved being 300 lbs so much then she should just eat some pies and cakes right back up to that. The point is she works out every day and even chose a career that would guarantee that all in an effort to never be 300 lbs again.

I don't think she's lying. She does say she would never go back, but it doesn't mean you can't miss some things about being overweight. I haven't been sleeved yet and I am only at the beginning of my journey, but I can see that there are things I will miss.

I already have very comfortable jokey relationships with men, and find them really easy to get along with. I don't think this will be the case when I weigh half as much as I do now, and the joking can't be done without there being a flirty element.

There is something invisible and anonymous about being 300lbs. I can't put my finger on it, because yes there are the stares as well, and everyone noticing how big I am, but at the same time I am able to hide very easily in plain sight behind my weight. I am going to miss that.

I'm not sure what else, but I'm sure there will be other things I miss. I know what I have to gain will be worth it 100 times more though.

You have a huge point when you say "There is something invisible and anonymous about being 300lbs".  When I was 495, people engaged me when they had to.  Nobody touched me.  I wasn't someone that people considered "a person" so much as "that guy" (I know it sounds weird, but follow me here).

Now that I'm approaching 300, I've noticed people notice me more.  Women are touching me.  Smiling at me.  Engaging with me.  I recently posted about a weird experience in exactly this vein.   I can only imagine what will happen when I approach 250.  On the one hand, it's thrilling to be considered a person rather than an object as I was before.  On the other hand, it's also disconcerting, sometimes uncomfortable, and frankly a little creepy the way people react to me now. I don't know I'd even consider it "person" status as much as "oddity".  The problem is, my head still thinks I'm 495 pounds.  I still make wide berth for people to get around me, I still walk with a self-awareness out of fear of crushing someone if I fall, and I still sit gently on chairs "testing" to make sure it won't collapse beneath me. 

I know it won't last like this.  Eventually my weight will stabilize at hopefully a healthy level, and my weight loss will be nothing more than a gossip that people mention about me anecdotally (Hey, you've only known him a short time, but that guy used to be the size of a small Korean family!).  Hopefully my head will one day catch up too. 

Michael, I have been reading your posts with great interest (and humor at times).  I can so identify with what you are saying here!  I am at somewhere around 360, which was only 5 pounds away from my surgery weight with the band.  That was 7 years ago and I am now hoping for revision.

My problem is, IF I can get this revision, I am not sure I will want to be friends with the same people who thought I was ignorant, sloppy (altho I never went in public without being dressed with makeup and all), not worthy, etc.  I am a happy, good morning sort of person but am offended when others give me a wide berth when passing.  In fact, at times I say in a whisper, "I'm not THAT big pal". If those same people were to see me when I do lose this weight, I might not be able to forgive their ignorance.

And frankly, I have always been a flirt but people don't really take me seriously, and shouldn't.  But when I am closer to goal, I will still be a flirt altho maturity has taught me there is a place and time for that.  It does scare me a little bit that my flirts will be taken seriously.  Maybe I need to give that up?  I never want to cause problems and if that did, I would feel so very bad.

What I am saying is that, for 30+ years, I have been invisible to others when it comes to seeing me as a viable human being.  I am going to take my behavior very slowly after weight loss.  I really don't flirt much anymore unless I am truly interested.  But other than that, I like to joke, to laugh, to be open with others and let them see the real me, not that fat blob they are looking at.  My self esteem is at a good place, I respect myself now more than in the past.  But because I am so open, a sun person as opposed to being a growling, negative force, I tell it like it is and expect the same of others.  I do touch and hug and show feelings.  Yet, I am as afraid of who I will be then as I am excited.

Does anyone understand that?

I'm actually afraid of being angry with people once I really start losing weight.  I know people will look at me differently, and that just downright ****** me off!  Although, when the time comes, I may enjoy it, but right now, the idea of it really makes me mad.  Why am I not worthy of a second glance, or a nice comment, or just being friends with?  My weight doesn't define my personality, but I feel like I've been judged like that for so long.  I'm also not USED to being touched, hugged, etc except by my kids, so that is going to be VERY strange.  I always have had that "personal space" and don't like it to be invaded.  I cringe at the thought of losing friendships and people just because I've lost weight, although I think the friendships I have are stronger than that.  I'm guessing I will probably meet new friends too, which worries me, because again, people will want to be my friend because I'm not fat.  It just REALLY makes me angry.

I remember a guy that I worked with lost over 300lbs on Optifast.  It took him about a year, but he did really well and lost weight like nothing.  Then, EVERYONE started treating him differently.  The bosses would interact with him more, ask him to lunch and also really value his opinion.  Then, HE started to change.  The people he "used" to talk to, suddenly weren't good enough for him.  He never had time for us anymore because he would be with the bosses or whatever, schmoozing.  My greatest fear is that I will change like he did.  I don't want to become an overconfident snob. 

So, I completely understand where you're coming from Michael.  I was comfortable being invisible, the large wallflower in the back of the room.  Eventually, probably not by choice, I will be brought in the spotlight and I'm not sure how I'll handle it. 

Michelle

I'm afraid I'll become really cynical when I lose weight. Will I look at everyone through the lens of "are you only being nice to me because I'm not obese?" :/

Thank goodness for therapy?

I miss being able to hold things with my fat! Hahaha! I could tuck a long dress under my pannis when going upstairs, stick some mail under a boob if my hands were full, etc. :-P