Going Public

Did you ever MUSH? I used to spend a LOT of time on Pern mushes :)

I used to MUD quite a bit and I actually met my partner on a talker, way back in the day :D

Posting again to note: don't put anything on FB that you wouldn't be comfortable letting a complete stranger or prospective employer see.

For sure.  I don't post anything online period that I'm not okay with being public.  

I don't think you need to specifically announce on FB that you got surgery, but if you specifically are aiming to minimize the conversation about your weight loss at the event, then it can't hurt to just make an effort to post a few more selfies over the next month.  People are bound to comment about how good you're looking, etc (I'm 80 pounds down and still overweight and it's definitely a noticeable difference, so yes, even if you don't see it, others will).

I think regardless of whether you spill the beans before hand and people know, they're all still going to gush to you in person about how you look good and oh you've lost weight, etc.  But at least maybe it won't be as much of a focus and it can just be a quick few comments.  I'm always surprised at the reactions I get.  Some people that I've known longer and worked more closely with might just say I look good, while other people who's names I barely know will ask how much I lost and what did I do, etc.  It's totally hit or miss depending on the person.  I'm the same way, I always just say I had weight loss surgery and don't mind telling people.  Though I do find it irritating the number of men that actually ask how many pounds I've lost.  I mean, if you shouldn't ask a woman what she weighs, why ask how much she's lost?! lol.

I think this is a really great suggestion and I'm definitely going to act on it.  I think that posting pictures is a good place between giving people fair warning and not feeling like I'm bragging.  Then if people ask questions, I can answer them and that'll be that.  

So weird that people ask how much you've lost.  There's a person I know who does that - to the exclusion of anything else - and it drives me crazy.  I'd rather talk about all that I've gained :D  

These are just my opinions and meant in the kindest, gentlest tone-

1. 80 pounds- yes, people will notice.  I am 6'2''- nobody noticed 60 pounds- everybody noticed 75 and I was stopped CONSTANTLY in the halls of my school to be questioned about it. 

2. Will it be the topic of conversation? IMHO there is no avoiding this.  If you post a week before you are guarenteeing it will be the topic, because that curiosity wiill perpetuate that given the relatively short amount of time from announcement to anticipating seeing you.  You would (again, Imho) be better to announce now and post a **** ton of pictures between now and then to help soften the dramitic change folks will see in you.  Of course, if you decide to do this then all of your facebook postings will be dominated by the topic.

3. In the big picture, I really don't think one can avoid being the topic while losing and for a period of many months after the end of the weight loss phase.  For example, when I left my classroom in June and returned in August I had only lost maybe 20 pounds- not much for my tall frame.  BUT, the onslaught of comments was at its highest peak in retrospect.  They had not seen me for a couple months so I am not sure if they "remembered" me as the old heavy me or if the 20 pounds was truly that signiificant of a difference.  I do know that this past August- no comments at all.  By then the barrage of constant comments and qustions completely died out. 

So, in a nutshell- I don't think you can avoid it.  Instead, I would focus on how best to manage it for your needs.  If you don't want to talk about it at the conference or in general, maybe post the announcement to facebook along with a gentle request to not allow the topic to dominate the conversations. Most will respect that. Some won't.  

Thank you very much for your thoughts.  I definitely think you're right about the advice to post pics.  Maybe not a ****ton... but certainly a few :D  I think that'll be good enough to warn people.  And, if they want to ask me about it or discuss things, I'm happy to do that.  And if they want to talk about me behind my back, that's okay too.  At least they'll be talking about something awesome that I've done ;)  

While your weight loss is awesome and you're doing great I think people will notice it, some will comment, and you can just thank them and move on. I  think if you had showed up at goal weight it would certainly be a VERY hot topic (sorry I'm not trying to diminish your awesome success) but with more weight to lose you can just say thanks or thanks I'm working hard at getting healthy or something. I don't think it requires a public announcement before hand. I've found that at this stage with 50 more pounds to lose still (and still being obese) that people just say wow you look great and that's it. 

Hope that makes sense! 

Thank you very much, I appreciate your thoughts and they do make sense.  :)  I'm going to opt for the "post some pictures between now and then" route and I think that'll ease the shock (if there is any!) for people seeing me at the con.